Wednesday, 2 December 2015

Wild emotions

I'm not known for expressing wild emotions. The wild emotions are there all right, I'm very aware of them churning away inside me somewhere, but I keep them to myself rather than hurling them at everyone else.

Others are less restrained. They shout abuse at the TV or the neighbours. They scream at other motorists who've annoyed them. They throw crockery or books. They send vitriolic emails. They slice up their cheating spouse's clothes.

Do they feel better for such extreme behaviour or worse? I've no idea. But I definitely feel better for keeping my more fevered emotions to myself. I don't want to end up doing something I bitterly regret 24 hours later but can't undo.

I find it embarrassing and disturbing when I'm present at such outbursts, and feel much relieved when things quieten down again. It's not that I don't sympathise. I know it's a natural response to utter frustration or distress. But I still find it acutely uncomfortable to watch.

I hate seeing parents shouting and screaming at their children. I hate seeing couples having violent arguments. I hate it when people let rip at hapless sales assistants, waiters or airline staff. I'm sure there must be less frenzied, less melodramatic ways of dealing with the problem.

On the odd occasion when I'm so consumed with rage that I express it openly and volubly, people are amazed. They're so used to me as the picture of calm and reasonableness. They're so used to me as the mediator, the one whose first instinct is to settle differences and patch things up.

Oh, and I cried freely at work once over the way I'd been treated by the boss. He must have been pretty vile, as I rarely cry, even in private.

But road rage? Chucking crockery? Cutting up clothes? About as likely as a lunar eclipse.

18 comments:

Dave Martin said...

Luckily my brain keeps the more overpowering emotions in check, but if it decided to let me down my desire to clean up the gene pool would result in my leaving a trail of dead and dying bodies in my wake.

Nick said...

Dave: Me too. My desire to strangle one or two people is best not acted on!

Rummuser said...

I am by and large a sanguine person but if it came to protecting myself or mine, I think that I can fly off the handle. I can cry too!

Nick said...

Ramana: If it came to protecting me or mine, I daresay I might act entirely out of character and get extremely emotional - or even violent.

Bijoux said...

I'm embarrassed by public outbursts as well. But I can understand road rage. I feel my blood pressure rise over incidents while driving on some days.

Outbursts of joy, I'm totally about! I've embarrassed my kids a few times with that.

CheerfulMonk said...

Outbursts of joy are my thing too. I seldom lose my temper, and when I do it's a sign I'm physically overwhelmed and have to do something about it.

Nick said...

Bijoux: Yes, outbursts of joy are just fine! I'll own up to some of those....

Jean: I think that's generally true of anger, that it's usually a sign of stress and pressure that needs to be relieved.

Wisewebwoman said...

Abuse of any kind to those I love, even to strangers, or animals makes my blood boil and I do get almost violent.

I try not to sweat the small stuff too much but that is very contingent on my mood, my reality of the time.

I try mainly to laugh at human foibles, particularly at the divas. there are a few in my neck of the woods.

As I age, though, I find I'm less patient and understanding of whining and whinging. I try and keep mine to myself. LOL

XO
WWW

Nick said...

www: I also get less tolerant of whining. If you have a problem, you should just deal with it or shut up. Moaning endlessly to other people is such a waste of time. I try not to whine myself but Jenny will testify to a few incoherent rants!

Nick said...

An awful lot of men nowadays admit to frequent crying. The old stereotype about men never crying seems well and truly dead.

tammy j said...

the rage in america now has apparently reached amazing levels.
whether totally true or not... i saw where there were 364 mass shootings just this year alone. and the year's not even over yet.
what they meant by mass shootings i don't know. more than two people?
14 killed and 17 wounded just yesterday in san bernadino california.


i'm like you. i don't like violent behavior. but our society seems to becoming more so all the time!

Helen Devries said...

I have a volcanic temper....but it is under public control. It has to be.

Nick said...

Tammy: I think most people outside the US are completely baffled by that country's very lax attitude to gun ownership and mass shootings. How so many Americans can just sit by while thousands of people are shot dead every year, I just do not understand. I guess it's all down to the fat profits made by gun manufacturers.

Nick said...

Helen: My father had a volcanic temper that he never bothered to control, and me and my sister and mother lived in permanent terror of the next violent eruption. I vowed at an early age never to have a temper like his.

tammy j said...

it's the most powerful lobby in the country nick...
the NRA. national rifle association. only long past rifles...
now machine guns and automatic hand guns that fire hundreds of rounds a minute.
they practically OWN washington.
that and what i call the "old wild west" mentality here...
"it's my right to bear arms by god and you'll have to kill me before you take my GUN."
good grief charlie brown. and we call it civilization.

Nick said...

Tammy: I know, it's frightening the sort of weapons people can get hold of. It's especially shocking when it's young children who are so often the victims of mass shootings.

The right to bear arms? What about the right to stay alive?

Secret Agent Woman said...

So, um... you cut up clothes or chuck crockery 2-4 times a year?

I do get road rage - usually when some goombah won't move out of the passing lane. But I just curse to myself, so they don't know it.

I don't like witnessing any argument, emotional or even retrained. But I will cry readily at happy events or otherwise being openly expressive about good things. I am also known for laughing uncontrollably.

Nick said...

Agent: Ah, so a lunar eclipse is more frequent than I thought....

I don't mind witnessing a friendly argument, but a violent, hateful argument really makes me cringe.

Yes, I can see you laughing uncontrollably!