Friday, 18 December 2015

Scars

I was asked if I had any scars.
No, no physical scars.
I've never had an operation.
I've never had a serious accident.
I've never been beaten up.
So the answer is no.
But I have plenty of emotional scars.
I've had a strange life.
Things haven't always gone according to plan.
I've had my share of pain and grief
along with fun and happiness.
I've had to confront some dark corners
of my own personality.
I've found things I'd rather not have found.
I've wrestled with demons.
But I've lived to tell the tale.

23 comments:

tammy j said...

you're like the marine.
so far so good. he's never really had any health problems.
at least those that we KNOW about! he's very private that way.
i've had three major surgeries with the resultant scars.
one is 8 inches long! good grief. practically a road map.
it's the inside scars one wants to avoid i think.
and the long slow process of letting them go and forgiving what caused them.
and those kind of scars we all seem to have if we live long enough and have had interactions with people! just called life i guess.
or...
you can wake up like a wonderful dog everyday ... to a whole new world. i love how they look at life!

Dave Martin said...

I have a few surgery scars on my knee, but they don't bother me.
The various emotional ones are far harder to deal with, so mostly I try to avoid dwelling on them which is tough when you're someone who spends most of their time overthinking things.

Nick said...

Tammy: On the whole, I usually manage to let things go and leave the emotional stings behind. Though some things cut so deep they're impossible to forget. But as you say, it's just called life - you can't live to the full without getting emotionally battered at regular intervals. Only a zombie is emotion-free!

Dave: I'm a bit of an over-thinker too, so I know what you mean about dwelling on emotions. Especially the emotions that seem out of all proportion to whatever set them off!

Bijoux said...

No physical scars at all? Wow! I have some from just minor incidents. As far as emotional scars, some are easier to let go than others.

Nick said...

Bijoux: Nope, no physical scars whatever. Unless you count the scar under my hair where my doctor removed a cyst - but obviously you can't see it, so I'm not even sure there's a scar!

Dave Martin said...

You still have hair too?
Now you're just rubbing it in.....

Grannymar said...

I do have scars on my abdomen from a couple of visits to surgery, but they are smaller than the one above my left eye. It was the result of a childhood game, but a decision to tape and not stitch it, proved to help it fade more easily.

Internal scars? I am sure there is not a person alive without them. Mine, I cast into a river with a stone or whispered gently to a tree. It worked for me and allowed the freedom to walk the world without a weight on my shoulders.

Nick said...

Dave: My hair is thinning a little on the crown but otherwise there's plenty of it. And I'm taking a prostate-shrinking drug that happens also to be a hair restorer, which probably helps. Just to make you even more envious, I haven't gone grey yet either.

Grannymar: Casting your emotional troubles into a river or whispering them to a tree? I must try that sometime and see if it works for me too.

kylie said...

My body tells the story of my life: I have sagging and stretch marks of a mother and a large surgical scar on my knee alludes to my mobility issues. My face is starting to show the long term effects of both joy and pain. I would like to think that the majority of my emotional scars have been converted to wisdom and perspective but I still have some buttons to push.

Nick said...

Kylie: Emotional turmoil may lead to wisdom and perspective, but that doesn't necessarily banish the turmoil. I think some emotions cut so deep they linger for a very long time, possibly forever.

Did you see those photos of sagging and stretch marks taken by a woman who wanted to show women's bodies as they really were?

Helen Devries said...

I have a few physical scars...being a clumsy person due to poor coordination...and a fair few mental ones which I tend to brood on when feeling down.

kylie said...

I believe that if emotional stuff is adequately dealt with it is possible to leave the turmoil behind.
And yes, i have seen a few post baby body photos. More power to them!

CheerfulMonk said...

Physical scars? The one from having my appendix out is the big one. No doubt I also have some in my left eye from three surgeries to repair torn retinas, but they don't show. Emotional scars? I don't think in those terms. If something gets stirred up because of past experiences I try to use the energy creatively. It's a different approach, I know, but it works for me.

Nick said...

Helen: Ah yes, if only we could all stop brooding on things, as opposed to either forgetting them or doing something about them!

Kylie: Probably I should have had an intensive course of psychotherapy to help me do just that. But somehow I never got round to it.

Nick said...

Jean: If you can turn that negative energy into something positive, that's pretty clever. As I say, I can do that with the minor upsets, but the bigger ones are harder to deal with.

Jenny Woolf said...

Think of them as battle scars, honourably won!

Nick said...

Jenny: I like your way of thinking!

Secret Agent Woman said...

I have my c-section scar across my belly, and I consider it a reminder of my younger son and his contrary ways (he was breach). I have a scar on my chin from falling off a slide that I'd climbed up and I consider it a reminder of my adventurous childhood. I have a scar on my shin from falling down a flight of stairs on a rainy night and I consider it a reminder of time spent with friends. I have a scar on my calf from a dog bite and I consider it a reminder of grad school parties. In other words, all my scars have interesting stories behind them and I regret none of them. As for internal scars, they are also reminders of resilience.

Nick said...

Agent: I like the way all your scars have interesting stories behind them! And yes, internal scars are a symbol of resilience and the fact that we coped (or are coping) with very daunting situations.

Rummuser said...

I have written a blog post on the same subject last week and I hope that you will get around to read it. I have been following your posts for quite a while now and I know that you carry a lot of scars and also that you have been able to overcome the effects and lead a cheerful life. I hope that you do not accumulate any more scars. My best wishes for that.

Nick said...

Ramana, that's very nice of you. I'm touched by your concern. Actually it was your blog post that inspired this one. I see myself as very fragile and insecure, but deep down I'm resilient enough to have dealt with some serious emotional avalanches.

Suburbia said...

That's a fantastic post Nick. Yes, emotional scars are not obvious but perhaps more damaging?

Nick said...

Thank you, Sub. I think emotional scars are a lot more damaging. Physical wounds can heal but emotional wounds can sometimes fester for a lifetime.