Monday, 21 April 2014

Over to you

We at Nickhereandnow are proud to unveil our new personalised blog post service. From now on, there's no need to plough through whatever nonsense we foist on you. You can design your own post, perfectly suited to your tastes and preferences, knowing that full satisfaction is guaranteed! Simply select your requirements from the choices listed:

Subject: (a) Nick's neuroses (b) fluffy kittens (c) other people's weird habits (d) a domestic catastrophe (e) other

Emotional flavour: (a) anger (b) disappointment (c) sadness (d) horror (e) other

Conclusion: (a) there are so many idiots out there (b) I could have kicked myself (c) no wonder I hate beetroot (d) the insects are taking over (e) other

With a brief mention of: (a) beekeeping (b) guacamole (c) bicycle clips (d) eyebag concealer (e) other

And no mention at all of: (a) celebs (b) chefs (c) people whose plastic surgery went horribly wrong (d) people who misuse apostrophe's (e) other

Optional extras: (a) several politically incorrect jokes (b) links to fabulous handbags (c) a list of funny place-names (d) ten dating no-nos to avoid at all costs (e) other

What could go wrong? The choice is yours. Enjoy!

Best wishes from Nick, Samantha, Elise, Hajika, Binario, Sebastian and the whole team at Nickhereandnow

[NB: Please allow up to 3 hours for your personalised blog post to be delivered. Some preferences may be temporarily unavailable. We accept no liability for inadvertently offensive material or consequent psychological distress]

13 comments:

Secret Agent Woman said...

I'll have subject c, with emotion d and conclusion d. And a side of b and a little of option c.

Grannymar said...

For me it has to be 'other' all the way!

Nick said...

Agent: A very intelligent selection, if I may say so.

Grannymar: Sorry, you'll have to specify the Other you have in mind, or we'll be unable to proceed with your request.

Bijoux said...

I'd enjoy a post about other people's weird habits and guacamole. Two of my fave subjects.

susie said...

Who are the best wishes people listed after you? Should I know them? I guess that's an other.

Ursula said...

Yes, Bijoux, I too enjoy guacamole. How to catch avocados at the moment of perfect ripeness my holy grail.

Other than that Nick has lost me. Not literally. Still, it is Easter. Maybe he is playing a coquettish hide and seek. Will he be found?

U

Nick said...

Bijoux: I'm taking notes - people's weird habits and guacamole, check.

Susie: I've no idea who they are. They claim to be my employees but I don't remember hiring them. Then again, they could just be a figment of my crazed imagination.

Nick said...

Ursula: Indeed, avocados at their ripest, delicious. So can we expect a post on spotting the moment of peak ripeness?

A coquettish hide and seek? Could be. As you know by now, I'm a riddle wrapped in a enigma.

John Gray said...

Bijoux is right!

Helen Devries said...

Wonderful!
You are now fully integrated into the 'tick the box' culture.

The trouble is that I am not, so have no idea how to cope with the future form of your blog...

Have pity....

Nick said...

John: Oh, so weird habits and guacamole are up your street as well. Unfortunately I think it might be tricky working them into every post.

Helen: Box-ticking hardly existed when I was a kid. Now it's like some awful plague you can't escape from. But don't worry, this temporary aberration will soon be over.

Liz Hinds said...

c a c c b b

Nick said...

Liz: I have an interesting image of someone very weird, very angry, who hates beetroot, rides a bike, dislikes chefs and has no interest in handbags.