Sunday, 12 February 2012

Thirty love

It's funny how when you start a relationship with someone, you've no idea how long it's going to last. It could be 30 days or 30 years. Or 30 minutes. Which is one reason why making out with someone new is so exciting.

When I first met Jenny at a central London bookshop and nervously fixed a date, I hadn't a clue what would happen.

We might have had a violent argument 10 minutes later and both walked off in a huff. We might have tried our best to get on with each other and decided it was a case of Mr Chalk and Ms Cheese. One of us might have had some personal passion the other totally detested.

If anyone had predicted we'll still be seriously in love three decades later, I'd have scoffed and told them to catch themselves on*. I'd have said, how likely is that when relationships come and go like taxis. Surely sooner or later we'll get bored with each other, get itchy feet, and start looking for an upgrade.

But the months and years rolled on and in some mysterious way we found ourselves still together, still enamoured, despite all the predictable squabbles, misunderstandings, grievances and stand-offs. They were never severe enough to break the deep bond that had somehow established itself.

That we've reached the present day in such enduring harmony never ceases to amaze me. It's as if we've been on a long journey through unfamilar territory with a thousand opportunities to get lost, get eaten by wolves, fall into a ravine, or be crushed by a landslide, and by some miracle we've avoided all the dangers and reached our destination.

I can only give thanks to whatever guardian angel is looking after us and keeping this old banger on the road.

* come down to earth. A common Northern Irish expression.

Pic: Not us, just another happy couple.

31 comments:

Scarlet Blue said...

Is it your anniversary, Nick? Or your Valentine's post? Congratulations, either way... but don't let Jenny catch you referring to her in any way as an old banger.
Sx

John Gray said...

arrrhhhhh
sweet
I am just off out to find a nun to hug!

Nick said...

Scarlet - Not our anniversary, that's on March 30. Yes, it's for Valentine's Day. And I hope nobody calls me an old banger either.

John - A nun? Why a nun? And why not a monk?

Baino said...

Well congratulations. 30 years is no mean feat and you fit together perfectly from what I can tell. Happy Anniversary for the 30th because I'm bound to forget.

Nick said...

Baino - Thanks! It'll be 31 years actually. A happy milestone, but I'm also sad for all those singles like you who're still looking for their own special partner....

nursemyra said...

You're both very lucky people

Macy said...

THIRTY YEARS!! That's longer than I've been alive!

Grannymar said...

Sure you are only beginning! I bet it only feels like half that time.
Enjoy the next thirty.

Nick said...

Myra - We're immensely lucky. There are so many sad, failed relationships and so many hurting, bewildered people.

Macy - I didn't know you were so young! Can you even imagine yourself thirty years on?

Grannymar - It does indeed only feel like half that time. Where did that 31 years go? How I am suddenly 65? Everything seems to get faster and faster....

kylie said...

well done to you both!
i keep saying people would be better off if we could ditch the romantic fantasies but the truth is there really are stories of enduring love and good for you for creating yours!

Mike Goad said...

Congrats and, as Grannymar says, only beginning.

Since we're getting a "snow event" tomorrow, we did our Valentine's dinner out this evening. (June will be 40 years for us.)

I've been reading here for a few weeks.

Nick said...

Kylie - Sometimes romantic fantasies are just that, a load of hopeful tosh, sometimes they turn into the real thing - a lasting bond.

Mike - Hi! Forty years, huh? That's hard for ME to imagine. I wonder if Jenny and I will chalk that one up?

Rummuser said...

I dated my late wife for eight years before we got married. We stayed married for forty plus years till death did us apart. I can relate to your post Nick. My best wishes to both of you.

Nick said...

Ramana - Almost 50 years together, that's quite something. I know how you grieved after your wife died.

Wisewebwoman said...

You and Jenny are so fortunate to have found "It" Nick, what we all search for and some are called to that great club.
Congrats and many more sweet days to you both!
XO
WWW

Nick said...

www - Thanks! We're fortunate indeed. So many people search in vain for that special someone. But hey, being single isn't a disaster. If you've got plenty of good friends and absorbing interests, that can be enough.

Bijoux said...

Awww! I feel the same way about my partner in crime. We've been together since 1984, so almost as long as you! Happy Valentine's Day, Nick!

Suburbia said...

So very pleased for you both :-)

Nick said...

Bijoux - Good to hear you two have been together so long. Happy Valentine's to you too!

Suburbia - Thanks. I hope you and your significant other are still going strong too.

speccy said...

Nick! You've come all over all cute and cuddly on us :) It suits you.
Many congratulations to you and Jenny

Nick said...

Speccy - Oh, I'm very cute and cuddly. In fact I'm a total slopbag on occasion. I obviously don't emphasise it enough.

Jay at The Depp Effect said...

Awww - that's a lovely post! Congratulations! Even though it isn't actually your anniversary, it's still worth celebrating. Especially (as you say) these days with relationships coming and going like taxis.

We've been married for 34 years now, and I feel the same. Amazing that we haven't been lost, eaten by wolves, etc, but are still together despite all. And thank the Supreme Being of your choice for that.

Or not, since you are an atheist! Perhaps it's simply a matter of being able to choose wisely in the first place, and having the luck to actually meet the right person.

Roses said...

That's so lovely to read.

For someone who has been a long time single and is starting out again, it's great to have the reassurance that all will be well.

Nick said...

Jay - I'm glad you've also avoided the wolves! I agree, choosing wisely in the first place is important. There were a lot of earlier women I couldn't see myself actually living with! And yes, luck is vital too. That mysterious factor that suddenly brings you together, often in the most unlikely circumstances.

Nick said...

Roses - I hope you find your significant other very soon! Or if you don't, just enjoy the magic of being you!

Roses said...

Ahh....you've not been keeping abreast of my goss.

I have found someone. The exact shape of the relationship...well that is happening every day. He's certainly significant to me.

Funny, because we met as I was finally content with my single status.

Nick said...

Roses - Ah, I didn't realise your current relationship had "taken off", so to speak. That's great. And as you say, very significant!

blackwatertown said...

You are indeed lucky, but I'd say you've both worked hard to make such luck for yourselves - so you've earned it too.

Nick said...

Blackwater - That's true, we both know you have to work at a relationship. It doesn't just magically thrive. We've worked our way through stormy phases and come out the other side.

Lady Mondegreen's Secret Garden said...

Just having a look at your blog and finding out that you are in Belfast - I think. I was visiting in December and hope your weather has looked up since then. Thirty years together is something to celebrate, and I am just a teeny bit envious as my lot-older-than-me-husband died not long before our 25th anniversary.

Nick said...

Lady M - We are indeed in Belfast. And a very exciting city it is nowadays. The weather in December was quite mild compared with the previous December when we had temperatures down to minus 20!

Very sorry to hear about your husband. That must have been a terrible loss.