Wednesday, 15 February 2012

Militant atheists

Gosh, all these prominent public figures lining up to defend Christianity against "militant atheists" and "militant secularists" who according to them are putting the very existence of Christianity in doubt.

They're kidding, right? They don't really mean that Vatican City, thousands of churches, thousands of faith schools and millions of Holy Bibles are going to vanish overnight in a puff of smoke? And that the evil atheists can achieve this simply by saying "I don't believe in God"?

Well, not exactly that. An atheist got a court ruling that prayers before a council meeting were illegal. That's all it took to get one of the most powerful religions on earth quaking in its boots and predicting Doomsday.

Not only that, but uncovering a huge unsuspected conspiracy of militant atheists and non-believers, rattling their sceptical sabres and loading their cynical shotguns.

Well, holy haddock, I've never been remotely militant about my atheism. I've just quietly pooh-poohed the idea of a supreme being for most of my 65 years, ever since I realised what a chaotic mess the world was in.

But now suddenly I feel inadequate. I'm letting the side down, not pulling my weight. All those militant atheists out there, working their arses off, and all I'm doing is not believing in God. Pathetic, isn't it? Utterly shameful.

I should be doing my fair share. Burning prayer books. Assaulting vicars. Blowing up churches. There's so much to organise. It's a daunting task, but with so much militancy out there, I'm sure we can manage it. Onward non-Christian soldiers!

23 comments:

Bijoux said...

Unfortunately, Christians seem to be doing a fine job themselves, burning books, blowing up clinics, picketing funerals and just general name-calling. They really don't need anyone calling them out.

What would Jesus do? None of that!

kylie said...

i'm not sure bijoux, he made a mess in that temple!

Nick said...

Bijoux - You're right there. Plenty of militant Christians running around! The anti-abortion crowd are terrifying.

Kylie - He did. We could do with a Jesus or two in some of the banking headquarters.

Bijoux said...

People love to bring up the temple thing.....Jesus was angry that people were turning the temple into a marketplace (probably ripping the public off), similar to the way televangelists do today!

Secret Agent Woman said...

I think that for the most part, Atheists are not so much militant as trying to insist on not having others' religions foisted on them.

kylie said...

bijoux,
i know exactly why Jesus caused a disturbance in the temple and I could have been clearer about my point. my point being that Jesus wasnt necessarily all peace and gentleness, he had no problem in disrupting people and if he saw it as necessary he just might have picketed or burned books. i think he might stop at torching property though.

Wisewebwoman said...

I'd like a blue uniform please and a nice new shiny Beretta.
XO
WWW

Nick said...

Bijoux - Exactly, it was just an early protest against capitalism!

Agent - That's precisely it. The number of times I've been abruptly accosted by Baptists, Jehovah's Witnesses, Presbyterians etc. The number of religious references I have to plough through in the media. I'm not interested. Just keep it to yourself!

kylie said...

nick, surely no presbyterians accosted you??

Nick said...

Kylie - That's right, he could be forceful if he thought it was necessary.

www - Me too. And a nice shiny badge saying "Militant Atheists, Belfast Battalion". The Beretta would come in handy when another Jehovah's Witness rings the doorbell and starts to explain what a wonderful religion it is.

Nick said...

Kylie - I think they're Presbyterians. I lose track of them all, I get so many of them shoving leaflets through my door or buttonholing me on the street. As you know, Northern Ireland is still a very religious society.

Scarlet Blue said...

Oh God...
Sx

speccy said...

I may need to employ the phrase 'well, holy haddock' in regular conversations

Nick said...

Scarlet - I fear you're being a tad blasphemous, my child. Just wait there while I sprinkle some holy water on you....

Speccy - It rolls off the tongue better than "holy mackerel", doesn't it?

Grannymar said...

Nick, Northern Ireland is a what????

They are a load of bible thumpers!

nursemyra said...

My catholic upbringing scarred me for life but I wasn't the only one who suffered. Four of the nuns who taught at the schools I attended in NZ later committed suicide.

Crisis of faith?

Nick said...

Grannymar - "Religious society" is the polite term. "A load of bible thumpers" is much more accurate. And in some cases "intolerant bigots" would fit the bill.

Myra - I'm very glad I wasn't brought up as a Catholic. All that stuff about sin and guilt and confession must really eat its way into you. The four suicides are shocking. No divine serenity there, that's for sure.

Roses said...

I want to be a militant pagan.

Bring back crucifixion and throwing the Christian's to the lions.

Would it be okay if we hung out?

Nick said...

Roses - A militant pagan, eh? Sounds good. I'll draw up a schedule of crucifixions, starting tomorrow. And I'll buy a few lions, get them ravenous and ready for a few juicy Christians.

Rummuser said...

The world is getting to be a very interesting place to live in Nick.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-17072211

Nick said...

Ramana - Ah yes, I was reading about the Italian government's plan to strip the Vatican of its tax-exempt status. I can only ask, how the hell did they get exempted to start with?

blackwatertown said...

Agree with Bijoux that the churches were doing a good enough job themselves without Dawkins joining in. He's helped them by riling things up, rather than letting them sink into tokenism.
But - I'm not keen on people equating secularism with atheism. The first one is public - an even-handed way to organise the state - the other is personal. Like religion.

Nick said...

Blackwater - I think it's mainly Dawkins who's prompted this idea of "militant atheism". Militant simply meaning explicit and public rather than unstated and private which is how our views are expected to remain.

Secularism seems to have two meanings: 1) atheism and 2) separation of church and state. I agree that the second is not the same thing at all. But I do believe the state should never be aligned with any type of religion.