Don't we all do strange things in hotel rooms? What do you mean, you don't? No need to be bashful, it's all perfectly normal.
Just try this little quiz to find out exactly how weird and obsessive you really are.
When in a hotel room, do you:
1) Methodically empty the minibar, even the most queasy and expensive items?
2) Steal all the freebies, including that really pongy soap and shampoo?
3) Write silly comments on the back of the pictures?
4) Disinfect all the bathroom surfaces before using them?
5) Look for creepy-crawlies under the bed?
6) Cover up all the mirrors?
7) Avoid making a mess in case the chambermaid complains?
8) Read every word of the fire instructions?
9) Sleep on a chair if the bed looks unsavoury?
10) Talk to your imaginary friend?
11) Hide your sex toys at the bottom of your suitcase?
12) Check for concealed microphones?
What your "Yes" score says about you:
13: You've miscounted.
9-12: You're stark raving bonkers. Consider suicide.
5-8: You're moderately bonkers. Consider therapy.
1-4: You're losing the plot. Consider a good long rest.
0: Pull the other one.
Not that any of these traits apply to me, of course. As you know, I'm just a no-nonsense, level-headed sort of guy. Or so my imaginary friends tell me.