I really do wonder how outwardly sensible, rational people could have believed the absurd Doomsday prophecies of some 89-year-old Bible-basher from Oakland, California.A belief so passionate that some of them spent their life savings, sold their homes and gave up their jobs to publicise the prophecy and prepare for imminent Armageddon at 6pm on May 21.
Could they seriously have expected that on the appointed day they would be wafted up to heaven in a state of rapture while non-believers were wiped out and sent to hell by the wrath of God?
What were these devotees taking? Some potent hallucinogenic? Or were they just so desperate for someone to give their lives a meaning they latched on to the strident certainties of this grey-haired old nutter and his bizarre mathematical calculations?
Were they not aware of the umpteen Doomsday prophecies that have sunk like a stone while everyday life continues unaffected? Did it not occur to them that the avuncular Harold Camping was getting an impressive income out of his loopy prophecies, prophecies no more credible than the trite ramblings of the local palm-reader?
Had it not struck them that if God wanted to end the world, He or She would probably do it whenever the impulse arose and not at some deadline calculated by an elderly preacher in California?
It was painful to watch these misguided souls trying to reorient themselves after the witching hour came and went and absolutely nothing happened except a thousand more Big Macs and Chevrolets.
They were gob-smacked by the anti-climax, frantically groping for an explanation. Maybe it was another test from God to persevere in their faith? Maybe they misunderstood something? Maybe they were using the wrong calendar? Maybe they'd been swindled? No no, that last possibility was foul-mouthed blasphemy.
The omniscient Harold Camping was not on hand with the definitive explanation however. He went missing as soon as the Apocalypse went missing and hasn't been seen since. Perhaps he was the only one raptured up to heaven?
And if you think it's all just a hilarious con trick, think again. Lyn Benedetto from Antelope Valley, California, was arrested for attempted murder-suicide after slitting the throats and wrists of her two daughters, because she was convinced the world was ending.
PS: Mr Camping has re-emerged to say how embarrassed he is that he got it wrong, and that the correct date for Doomsday is in fact October 21. Sure, and ferrets can play chess.
Pic: Harold Camping
The crack of doom?
ReplyDeleteQuite right, Nick, Harold Camping was talking out of his arse.
Sx
Scarlet - He sure was. All the supposed cryptic clues in the Bible were more like red herrings.
ReplyDeleteI guess there really is a sucker born every minute. The schedule has now been changed so we've got time to prepare, next doomsday event = 21 October, so be prepared! It's a shame we can't euthanase stupid people, haha what Miss Scarlet said. Awesome.
ReplyDeleteBaino - Oddly enough, I don't think it's worth noting Doomsday for October 21 in my diary. Based on a mathematical interpretation of The Lord of the Rings, my prophecy is that October 22 will appear as expected.
ReplyDeleteNick, you have to attend some of the evangelical shows put on here and see how the speakers make the crowd go nuts and do unbelievable things. The preachers of course live in luxury and get financed by collection drives plus some very handsome donations from American churches who pay per head converted. I wish that I had become a preacher! I would have disappeared too.
ReplyDeleteHoly f***ing cow about Lyn Benedetto for Antelope Valley. You'd have to be really scared to do that. It's Mr Crack-Camping who should be up for murder.
ReplyDeleteThat should be from Antelope Valley.
ReplyDeleteRamana - To me, most of these preachers are just ranting and raving, but to others they're the voice of truth and wisdom itself. Funny what people choose to believe.
ReplyDeleteEryl - You're right, she must have been really scared, totally convinced her family was finished. I haven't seen any expression of regret from the Great Prophet.
I've tried to comment, but blogger seems to huffing with me...
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I think it's sad and scary that we can be so fooled by charlatans. What else are we deluded about?
Speccy
Nick, did you see this:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.broadsheet.ie/2011/05/24/an-open-letter-to-harold-camping/
Speccy - Blogger can be a bit bolshy sometimes. We're probably deluded about all sorts of things, especially when we have no first-hand knowledge and we're trusting other people to be honest and accurate.
ReplyDeleteGrannymar - Very good! Indeed, just a little mistake, not the end of the world.
Why is the end of the world never set for a work day huh? THAT would get a couple of million more (temporary) adherents to the cause.
ReplyDeleteMacy - October 21 is a Friday! Only trouble is, if Armageddon is still scheduled for 6pm, we'll have to do a day's work first. Rats.
ReplyDeleteunbelievable isn't it?
ReplyDeleteAren't we being a bit hasty, snide and complacent here. How do we know it didn't happen? Just because nobody we know was holy enough to be taken up.
ReplyDeleteOr - maybe Harold Camping got the date right but some of the small print wrong. Perhaps it applied to inanimate objects not people.
Don't believe me? Well where's that missing sock? Huh huh?
And the top of my pen?
They've been raptured.
the ways of faith are fascinating. We all have faith, whether it's faith in our spouse being monogomous as promised or in some form of God. Evidence is always incomplete, faith is always a part of understanding - how the balance between evidence and belief can shift so far from what is probably is baffling... ...but then the improbable does happen...
ReplyDeleteI... er... got a bit carried away after that comment above http://wp.me/pDjed-Wa
ReplyDeleteI blame you.
Suburbia - Unbelievable. So will all those who fervently believed in a May 21 Apocalypse now equally fervently believe it's on October 21?
ReplyDeleteBlackwater - Yes, maybe the world ended but we don't realise because we're still seeing an illusory after-image? Like still feeling an amputated leg?
Wendy - As Speccy said, it's easy to be deluded. Yes, evidence may be shaky and faith is just that - faith. But usually reason and common sense stops us believing out-and-out shite.
ReplyDeleteBlackwater - Getting carried away is perfectly acceptable on this blog. If only Harold Camping had got carried away as planned we could forget all about him.
There have always been and will always be cults with charismatic leaders who convince their followers to do fool-hardy things. But let's face, when it comes to even mainstream religion, people are willing to accept all manner of illogical beliefs.
ReplyDeleteGo to my blog. Because I got something special after The Rapture.
ReplyDeleteNa-na na-na-na!
XO
WWW
Secret - True, his Doomsday prophecies are just an extreme version of the commonplace rantings about heaven and hell, fire and brimstone etc.
ReplyDeleteW3 - Ah yes, the official form for having your soul duly processed in the afterlife. So the bureaucrats have even muscled in on life after death. I think my polluted soul will probably end up in celestial landfill.
I heard the date had been changed this morning..... unfuckingbelievable
ReplyDeleteMyra - Yep, October 21 it is. Definitely. Guaranteed. Without a shadow of doubt. Or it might be November 21.
ReplyDeleteYou've been linked - I used the Barbara Kruger quote.
ReplyDeleteBlackwater - Linked? Linked where exactly?
ReplyDeleteIf I may be all Christian and serious for a moment, it actually says in the bible, in fact Jesus says, that no-one except God knows when it will happen.
ReplyDeleteThere was a good website though that made lots of money out of arranging to look after people's pets after they'd been raptured away ...
Liz - "No-one except God knows when it will happen." My thoughts entirely. Well, except that I'm a blaspheming atheist of course.
ReplyDeleteI hadn't heard of the pet-care website. Amusing that they made so much money before the false Doomsday came and went.
I really hoped the traffic would get thinned out here.
ReplyDeleteHeart - Good thinking. Except that there are so few saintly souls out there, I guess only about .0005 per cent of the drivers would have been raptured.
ReplyDeletemy ferret plays chess better than i do ;)
ReplyDeleteKylie - Your ferret is a damn smart cookie.
ReplyDeleteI had a lot of fun with the whole Rapture business on Facebook. I got my milage out of mocking the righteous, the stupid and the deluded. Frankly, it was time well spent.
ReplyDeleteIdiots.
I thought you were commenting on Nick's current post, Roses... you'll see what I mean when you read it.
ReplyDeleteSx
Roses - Sorry I missed all that. If you send your Facebook link to nickhereandnow@hotmail.com I could become your Facebook friend! What fun that would be!
ReplyDeleteIndeed, Mr C has done very well out of the righteous, the stupid and the deluded.
Scarlet - Hmm, don't quite see the connection. Children who're at the mercy of righteous, stupid or deluded parents?
Your current post about missing people???
ReplyDeletePerhaps over time they have been raptured.
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Scarlet - Of course, silly me. Somehow I doubt if they've been raptured. Either they've made a better life for themselves or come to a sticky end. Perhaps they've been eaten by Mr Camping.
ReplyDeleteRoses - It's okay, I've found your Facebook page now via Miss Scarlet. Not that I usually demean myself with such proletarian pursuits as Facebook of course.
ReplyDeleteBwhahahaha!
ReplyDeleteFacebook friends now!