How do you maintain a relationship (and a marriage) for nigh on 40 years without the D-word rearing its ugly head? How do you keep things sweet despite all the possible pitfalls and trip-wires? I think it helps a lot if you share a few basic behavioural traits. For instance:
- We love each other to bits, obviously.
- We're both neat and tidy. We put the cap back on the toothpaste, we don't leave discarded clothes on the floor, we don't leave food remnants in the sink. It must be hell if one of you is a messy slob and the other isn't.
- We're both vegetarian and we both like similar foods. Especially Italian and Indian food.
- We're both energetic and keep ourselves busy. We don't sprawl on the sofa all day, watching old sitcoms.
- We're both voracious readers. If one of us never read anything but cookery books or car manuals, that would be that.
- We're both over-thinkers, analysing everything to the nth degree - politics, news events, other people's quirks, shopping trends, you name it.
- We both do our share of the housework. We don't (on the whole) assume such-and-such is the other person's job/ the woman's job/ the man's job.
- We both like Scandinavian crime dramas.
- We consult each other about everything, and never make important decisions (even choice of curtains) unilaterally.
- We both like breakfast in bed (toast and marmalade) on Sunday mornings.
- We don't fight over who's going to drive the car.
- We're both minimalists with a horror of clutter. We have regular clear-outs of stuff we no longer need/ want/ use/ enjoy.
- We're both socialists. It's hard to understand how political and ideological opposites can live together without coming to blows.
There must be other things I've forgotten, but that's fairly comprehensive. It makes me realise how lucky we were to run into each other. What are the chances of two random strangers sharing so many attitudes?
