I'm happy to be a stick in the mud if it means believing in things like politeness, friendliness, altruism*, democracy, the welfare state, and women's liberation. If you're a stick in the mud about banning immigration or keeping women in their place, that's a different matter.
We could do with a lot more of the high-minded stick-in-the-mud types, given how easily people now abandon any worthwhile principles in favour of bending the rules, breaking the law, lying their heads off and denigrating other people.
If the opposite of being stuck in the mud is being totally suggestible and going along with anything that's trendy and superficially appealing, then I'm very content to be a stick in the mud and true to my beliefs.
It's intriguing that now the phrase implies a personal failing - someone who deliberately resists change. That's not how it was used in the past. It implied someone who was unable to progress through no fault of their own - someone whose feet were stuck in soft clay.
*Now there's a word you don't hear often today - altruism. Meaning a disinterested and selfless concern for the well-being of others.
Your third and fourth paragraphs are black and white. On the spectrum it's not either you are a paragon of virtue and principles or a scumbag.
ReplyDeleteTo me a stick-in-the--mud is one who is not open to new ideas. It's their way or the highway. Being open to new ideas doesn't mean you have to adopt them; just hearing the other person out before dismissing departures from the main road - that way discussion, exchanges of ideas, fertilizing each other's minds lies. The day someone told me that I am a stick in the mud (not a chance in hell) will be the day I'll ask for a mercy killing.
U
PS One of the saddest things [to me] that there are certain people of a certain age, not least in blogland, who I hope enjoy their feet stuck in clay for the rest of their days; basking in their "glory", revelling in their echo chambers. No spark. Give me a horse with blinkers any day. At least there the blinkers serve a purpose.
Ursula: I would say a stick-in-the-mud can be very open to new ideas but at the same time opposing them for a good reason. Or for that matter open to old ideas but opposing them. And if I come across bloggers who are stuck in echo chambers I steer well clear of them.
DeleteWhen I was in the Labour Party, meetings could get a little heated and often a member would be referred to as a stick in the mud for not wanting to adopt a proposed change. But it was no bad idea to get the stick in the mud to explain their point of view...if they could or would not, then yes, carry on without them, but when they could, there was often something useful to consider.
ReplyDeleteHelen: Yes, it's very helpful to ask a stick-in-the-mud to explain their intransigence. Sometimes they have an excellent reason, sometimes they haven't any good reason and they're left floundering.
DeleteNick, I would venture that calling someone a stick in the mud can have different meanings. That said, I rather agreed with your assessment of what you felt it meant for yourself. You certainly have always seemed a fair-minded person through what I've read in your posts and comments.
ReplyDeleteBeatrice: I like to think I'm a fair-minded person who always listens to different opinions, even if I end up disagreeing.
DeleteThe only time I’ve heard heard the term is when my husband’s grandmother would affectionately call her great grandchildren ‘sticks in the mud.’ I took it to mean they were stubborn.
ReplyDeleteBijoux: Yes, I think the usual meaning is stubborn or inflexible.
DeleteMy interpretation of the phrase is being adverse to new ideas and new experiences and disliking change of any kind and shutting off conversations that doesn't suit one's own agenda. I see that with elders who don't "understand" the youth. I want to shout at them (and do sometimes) "bloody well listen and learn!"
ReplyDeleteIf I was called stuck in the mud I would be mortally offended.
XO
WWW
www: Well, I wouldn't say I'm generally adverse to new ideas or resistant to change. On the contrary, I welcome new ideas. I'm only resistant to change if it means abandoning a particular belief I hold dear. I wasn't mortally offended because I didn't think I was a habitual stick-in-the-mud.
DeleteI've felt relief when I've abandoned old beliefs - it's a weird feeling, but I realised I was holding on to beliefs that I'd formed at the age of 10!!! We should continue to question ourselves, and remember from where our views came from, throughout our lives. Some ideas may still hold water, and some ideas might need filing under the heading: No longer works for me.
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Ms Scarlet: I discard old beliefs all the time, because I realise they're outdated or they no long make sense or someone is better informed than me. I regard all my beliefs as works in progress.
DeleteI interpret "stick in the mud" as no fun. We must use it differently here because I find it hard to believe I would live with such a fundamental misunderstanding for too long.
ReplyDeleteSomebody once called me staid. I can see why I might be called that but I don't thinkit's the totality of my character
Kylie: Do you mean a misunderstanding about whether "stick in the mud" is referring to a person's character in general, or just a specific, firmly-held belief? I certainly wouldn't see you as staid.
DeleteWe'd usually use stick in the mud as a general description of someone who doesn't do fun things. It's not really about beliefs at all
DeleteKylie: Oh I see. Like when we call someone a party-pooper or a wet blanket. In fact the google definition is "a person who throws gloom over social enjoyment."
DeleteMary says "Yeah I was thinking the same as the others as in people here usually refer to people as a stick in the mud if they are not fun."
ReplyDeleteMary: Interesting. So it looks like the American and Australian meaning is quite different to the British.
DeleteI think the phrase "stick in the mud" suggests a closed mind, which I never like, because you have to live by their rules more than you have to live with other people's ideas. But as you say I am all for sticking with altruism. I am beyond disgusted by the amoral reckless people who seem to be defining our lives now. A government minister calling that reckless little coward William Wragg "courageous" is a new low. He ignored any sense of responsibility and was happy to create a security risk to save his skin.... it's a real insult to the genuinely courageous people who risk their lives to help others or endure daily pain without conplaint.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous: Indeed, so many amoral and reckless people. I'm astonished that so many people are sympathising with the MP William Wragg, who happily responded to a total stranger on social media, sent him "compromising" material and then revealed the personal details of other MPs. The man's an idiot.
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