Thursday 22 September 2022

Being offended

The big feature of cancel culture (aka polarisa-tion) is that it puts "being offended" into a whole new context. "Being offended" has suddenly become a huge deal, a hazardous minefield to be traversed with difficulty.

When I was young, if someone was offended, it was just a routine human reaction, like being upset or scared or sad or disappointed. If you were offended, you either shrugged it off or asked the person to apologise. And that was that.

Now it's practically a mortal sin to offend someone. Everything you do or say has to be vetted in advance in case it might offend someone. You're meant to know exactly what might cause offence and avoid it.

"Being offended" is no longer enough. The offence must now be "purged". The person concerned must not only apologise profusely, they must be abused and ostracised, punished in some way, even sacked from a job they may have done for decades.

If the offence is a thing, the offending book or article or statue must be banned, destroyed or otherwise removed from the public gaze. Whether the book has literary merit, or the statue has cultural significance, is beside the point.

It's not enough to say, Oh well that book was of its time, you'd expect some dubious references, a bit of racism or sexism, but it's not the end of the world, it's still a great bit of writing and people still enjoy it. Trying to obliterate it is an absurd over-reaction.

Unfortunately the new obsession with "being offended" means that people hesitate to discuss certain sensitive subjects for fear of the reaction and are effectively silenced. How can that be a good thing?

22 comments:

  1. Nope, civil discussion and critical thinking has gone out the window. If you are not 100% onboard with group think, then you are chastised or cancelled.

    The worst part is those who are offended on behalf of someone else.

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    1. Bijoux: I gather that many of the pro-trans-rights protestors are not actually "trans" but it's a fashionable cause and they want to join in.

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  2. The weaponization of "being offended" is just a new form of bullying. It's a scam to silence dissenting opinions or, as you say, even get books removed if they say things the professional offendee doesn't like.

    As John Cleese said, "there are those whom one would wish to offend." The way to fight back against this form of bullying is by mockery and ridicule. It works by demanding to be taken seriously, so that is exactly what must be denied to it.

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    1. Infidel: As you say, it's just a new form of bullying, of finding pretexts to shut people up and put them in their place. Mockery and ridicule is one good defence.

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    2. Infidel, Nick, mockery and ridicule only work on those who understand sarcasm. Those who can read between the lines and engage. Engage intelligently rather than call you names because all the offended blogger is looking for is an echo chamber.

      Blogland has taught me that "taking offence" is a default mode - in some quarters, by no means all. I have "offended" people; some who became friends. Some who proved that they are so easily offended even a goose wouldn't say "boo" to them. Still, in command of their comment boxes, they do have the power of the delete button. They do have the power to malign you. At least they don't have gas chambers at their command. Or a pile of books and other words to set fire to. First they'd have to find a matchbox.

      U

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    3. Ursula: Blogmates disappear from time to time and I wonder why. Did I say something to offend them? Do they simply not understand me or share my views?

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    4. Ursula: Infidel, Nick, mockery and ridicule only work on those who understand sarcasm

      You have a point; however, my preference for the use of mockery and ridicule rather than debate when dealing with the irrational is a carefully-considered one. First, bullies want craven submission; any attempt to engage with what they say and treat it as rationally debatable will lead only to more bullying. Second, in most cases the aim is not to persuade the opponent (which is usually impossible), but to persuade any not-yet-decided third parties who may be observing. Making the performatively-offended party look ridiculous will, I think, be more effective at doing that than pretending to take the offendedness seriously would be.

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    5. Infidel: I agree with all of that. As you say, bullies don't respond to rational debate and making them look ridiculous is a better strategy.

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    6. Nick: You write, "Blogmates disappear from time to time and I wonder why. Did I say something to offend them? Do they simply not understand me or share my views?" It's most likely they are more interested in other things and life is short.

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    7. Jean: Yes, that's another possible explanation. Not that I'm especially bothered. People come and people go....

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  3. It is particularly difficult for older people like me for whom what used to be perfectly acceptable turns out to be offensive now. We simply don't know what offends and what will not.

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    1. Ramana: Absolutely. The strangest things suddenly become "offensive" for some odd and bewilidering reason.

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  4. Some people have made a career out of being offended!
    I only say: I'm offended - as a joke. I rarely am in every day life. I don't think I'd ever use the phrase - it's so middle class. [Someone will take offence to that!]
    Sx

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    1. Ms Scarlet: Me too, it takes a lot for me to feel actively offended. It has to be something truly vicious.

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  5. Great post, Nick. The subject you raised, and your take on it, such an inspiration. I have already written down so many of my thoughts on the subject it would explode the etiquette of any, even the most accommodating, comment box. You gave momentum. Thanks for that.

    U

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    1. Ursula: It suddenly occurred to me that "purging" is a recent invention and makes "causing offence" much more alarming.

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  6. Oh the wokeness all around is killing me. Can't quite believe JK Rowling had her life threatened multiple times and her children's. For speaking out. Using hard facts, scientific facts.
    Precursor to censorship and as in the UK arrests for speaking out. Like Andrew being called a ponce (true) and arrested for this. Terrifying New World we've landed in.
    XO
    WWW

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    1. www: Death threats now seem to be a routine reaction to "being offended". They're very rarely carried out, but to the recipient they're alarming.

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  7. And here's another thing that irritates me. if I offend someone and I didn't mean to, that to me is their problem. I'm not going to apologize just because my form of humor, or my comments offends someone who is too soft to understand that just because they're offended doesn't mean I owe them something like an apology.

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    1. Mary: Agreed. If you didn't mean to offend them, how are you guilty? Personally I would probably apologise, but shouldn't that be enough?

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  8. I don't understand their thinking either, but I guess that fashions of thought change, and that's the root of it.

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    1. Jenny: But what worries me isn't so much the supposed "offence" as the totally over-the-top reaction to the offender.

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