I hardly ever read things into other people's remarks. Maybe I'm stupid or insensitive or unimaginative, but I do tend to take what others are saying at face value. I don't assume there's some subtle meaning I have to tease out.
I remember a woman I knew telling me she always read too much into what others were saying. This had led to a few heated arguments with her boyfriend when he insisted that what she was imagining was nonsense.
Journalists are front-runners in interpreting people's remarks in a hundred different ways. Could that politician's chance remark mean they're considering resigning? Or they're getting dementia? Or they're angling for promotion? Or they're panicking over some imminent scandal? Of course most of it turns out to be claptrap.
Actually I'm fibbing slightly when I say I don't read anything into people's remarks. I like to be liked and I do try to figure out from what someone's saying whether they like me or not. Did I detect a certain frostiness there? Did I detect a note of warmth? Did they agree with what I just said? Did they look disapproving? I can't quite go along with the "just be yourself and don't worry about the reaction" brigade.
Mostly I confine my speculation to novels and the fate of fictional characters therein. Whether I guess right or guess wrong, it's of no consequence.
I can't read hidden messages or read between lines like many others do. I must be naive.
ReplyDeleteRamana: Not necessarily. Just not in the habit of wild speculation.
DeleteI am, almost as I type, trying to work out if I'm being manipulated by a woman. I'm not sure how you can not read between the lines, especially in the written word when tone, facial expression etc are missing.
ReplyDeleteLiz: It can be hard to tell if you're being manipulated. It can be done so skillfully. Hopefully you're not.
DeleteThe biggest red flag to manipulation is confusion. I'd bet my house you are being manipulated
DeleteKylie: Good point. Confusion can be very revealing.
DeleteI can react too quickly to a comment
ReplyDeleteI need to reflect more
John: It's easy to jump to wrong conclusions about what someone's said. It's easy to get the wrong end of the stick.
DeleteHell, I love a bit of wild speculation!!!! So long as it's not about me.
ReplyDeleteSx
Ms Scarlet: I thought you'd say that!
DeleteI’m not a fan of over thinkers, probably because I tend to just say what I think. I don’t purposefully say things to hurt people and very rarely say anything passive aggressive, unless the person is a real asshole. If people want to read too much into something I say, that’s their problem.
ReplyDeleteBijoux: I would say over thinking is something quite different - just generally thinking too much about something. Like you, I would say other people's interpretations are their problem, unless they insist they've got me all figured out.
DeleteI tend to take what is said without pondering it, unless the situation is already tense.
ReplyDeleteMark you, I have been described as socially autistic...
Fly: Autism is one of those terms that's flung around rather carelessly. Not sure it includes taking what is said at face value....
DeleteAutism characteristically makes people quite literal so a saying like "the wheels fell off" or "no flies on her" are very confusing to a person with autism.
DeleteI agree with you, Nick. Autism is a real condition, people shouldn't bandy the word around
Kylie: I didn't realise autism can mean taking remarks too literally. I shall bear that in mind.
DeleteI don't usually read things into what others say and do take what they say at face value most times.
ReplyDeleteMary: Interpreting people's remarks is a very hit-and-miss business. You might get it right, you might get it very wrong.
DeleteI'm a huge people reader. Even with zoom, I can usually guess a person's emotional state. Now reading into what people say. That is really a terrible state of mind. People can only share so much.
ReplyDeleteYou really do have to take people at their word unless you have been truly mislead before to your folly or loss. My big problem would be mishearing what someone is saying. I know I have to go back and read comments at times.
I am selective about who I associate with. Life can throw enough trouble my way without encouraging more to come. And one would be someone I am always having to overexplain what I said.
Ann: My big problem is not so much mishearing as not hearing at all. I'm easily distracted and I can easily miss what someone said and have to ask them to repeat it.
DeleteI'm very selective about people as well. As you say, wary of them causing some kind of trouble or nuisance.
Well, you know - it's kind of my job to pay attention to hidden messages in what people say.
ReplyDeleteAgent: Yes indeed. By now you must be an expert in interpreting what's unspoken.
DeleteI realize what a hermit I've become. My friends are so far away; I'm involved with so little of their lives, it no longer matters.
ReplyDeleteJoanne: I don't see you as a hermit. You seem to have plenty of contact with other people one way or another.
DeleteI think it important to read signals and body language. Sometimes friends are nervous about revealing pain or hurt. I can usually pick up on it. I can read my friends really well. Strangers not so much as frankly, I am detached and don't want to invest myself. I can't stand small talk and second guessing.
ReplyDeleteXO
WWW
www: You seem to be very good at "reading" other people. I wish I had the same talent. And yes, small talk and second guessing are very tedious.
DeleteI have a relative that likes to read things into what others say. She then responds and reacts based on where her assumptions have led her. It doesn't really work out all that well in her favor.
ReplyDeleteLiberty Belle: My mum was much the same. If I challenged her assumptions, she took no notice. She was convinced her assumptions were gospel truth.
DeleteI suppose I may read things into what is said in some situations with some people but not routinely. That would be very mentally exhausting to be constantly analyzing what was being said. I'd go nuts.
ReplyDeleteJoared: That's what I think too. If you habitually interpret other people's remarks, it must wear you out. And you've probably got them wrong anyway!
DeleteA friend of mine over analyses every conversation for signs that she has offended someone. I have realised it is a symptom of anxiety for her.
ReplyDeleteMy way of reading a situation very much depends on the background information i have.
I take some at face value, with others I know I have to carefully analyse the sentences as they have been put together with great care, with others I respond with a face value remark but reflection gives me new insights.
My first instinct though, is to take things at face value. It's not always a good thing
Kylie: True, taking things at face value isn't always helpful. But I guess if you don't have that background information, it's hard to take things any other way.
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