Saturday 24 July 2021

Armchair critics

What really struck me as I was watching an Amy Winehouse documentary last night (she died ten years ago yesterday) was how many people happily pontificate about who or what caused her death and heap blame on whoever they think pushed her over the edge.

People who never met Amy, know nothing about her except what they read in the media, but set themselves up as instant experts on her complex psychological state.

They'll casually pour scorn on her mother, her father or her ex-husband Blake Fielder-Civil, also people they've never met, oblivious to the effect their vitriol might be having on the recipients.

All they're doing is adding insult to injury. Her parents, still struggling with deep grief ten years on, also have to fend off the endless barrage of accusations and derision from people who think they know better than her family and friends what might have saved her.

Who knows what could have saved her? She was clearly in a very bad way when she died, but rejected any type of therapy or professional help. She suffered from bulimia, alcoholism, a period of drug addiction, and was mentally and emotionally very fragile and unstable.

To begin with she enjoyed her sudden rise to fame, but that turned into another psychological hindrance she could have done without.

Her parents Mitch and Janis are adamant they did everything they could to help her but were constantly thwarted. They're obviously hurt and shaken by all the criticism from complete strangers.

These armchair critics would be better off minding their own business and reflecting on their own imperfections - which no doubt are numerous.

31 comments:

  1. I think same people can cope with fame - born for it, like Kylie Minogue and Madonna, whilst others probably shouldn't go near it, like Amy, and Caroline Flack. But who's to know?
    Sadly speculation sells papers and advertising space - but you're right, we weren't there and we personally don't know the people concerned.
    Sx

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    1. Ms Scarlet: True, some people take to fame like a duck to water while others are completely overwhelmed. And yes, regrettably that sort of lurid speculation sells papers.

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  2. If you want to meet some serious arm chair critics, you must come to India. You search for one and you will find a thousand. I shall send you a viral image that went around here a while ago.

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    1. Ramana: I suspect armchair critics are rife in every country. Some people just love to put the boot in, and utter ignorance of the reality is no deterrent.

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  3. I never cared for her music, so I honestly know zero about her and what followed her death.

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    1. Bijoux: In that case, you haven't missed much!

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  4. I know nothing about Amy Winehouse, but that experience seems sadly commonplace. Everyone is an amateur psychologist and happy to hold forth on their unfounded theories.

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    1. Agent: Yes, every other person is an amateur psychologist convinced they know exactly what makes someone else tick.

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  5. All I ever knew was her name before she died. I read a bit about her death and life when she died, but never knew anything about the criticism and scorn that prevailed afterwards. So far as her music, I sampled some of it just now on YouTube. Her voice sounds familiar and I'm sure I'd recognize some of her popular tunes if I heard them (I'm not a big music fan and, for most songs that play, usually can't name the tune or, often, the artist.)

    T think it's sad, though, that so many talented artists succumb to the temptations that come with wealth and fame. I wonder how many of those who heap scorn could have done any better under similar circumstances.

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    1. Mike: She seems to have been less well-known in the States. But her album Back To Black was one of the best-selling albums in UK history.

      As you say, how many of her critics would have coped any better with the pressures of fame?

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  6. I'll happily criticise politicians as I think I do know what I am on about...but how could I possibly have a valid pinion about people or spheres of which I know nothing?

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    1. Fly: It's fair enough to criticise someone for their line of work (politicians, builders, singers etc), but presuming to know the ins and outs of someone's personality is a different matter.

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  7. Unfortunately addiction calls many who are given so much fame. I have met those who subsequently died but also those who managed to turn their backs on the adulation with its allure and retreat into private lives or find enough stability to resist the lures.

    She wrote about how she couldn't resist the siren calls and death was inevitable. Tragic. She had enormous talent and reminded me so much of Janis Joplin.

    XO
    WWW

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    1. www: She was similar to Janis Joplin in many ways. And she didn't know how to cope with all the sudden adulation and scrutiny (FIVE Grammy Awards in one year!).

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    2. How do you know all that? Did you meet her ? She just was a wonderful human being struggling with whatever you all may suppose.

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    3. Lou: How do I know all what? That she was similar to Janis Joplin? But yes, she was just as you say.

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  8. Drug addiction has killed many. I had childhood schoolmates that I learned died from addiction related problems. Its hard to be a young adult much less one with the confusion fame gives and a drug addiction. I read Gregg Allman's book. He states that he never liked his drug addiction and it took him so long to beat it.

    Very true about armchair critics. I've read some about Amy Winehouse and her problems. I don't think her parents were the problem. When you are living a situation, it is hard to know the right thing to do.

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    1. Ann: Drug addiction is a terrible business and very hard to break. Those cynical people who make money by creating drug habits are beyond the pale. And you're right, when you're living a situation it's hard to know how to respond.

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  9. I don't even understand my own inner workings; how could I possibly judge someone else's?

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    1. Linda: Exactly. If we think we know how someone's mind works, we're kidding ourselves. The human mind is infinitely complex.

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  10. Everyone is always an expert on everyone else but somehow can't get their own sh*t together.

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    1. Mary: Well said. All these vociferous critics should maybe start with their own deficiencies.

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  11. Not to parrot, but I would've said exactly what Mary says. We're surrounded by idiots who have no problem giving their two cents, yet I'm sure if you peel back the layers you'll expose their own issues.

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    1. presstfortime: People who live in glass houses, busy throwing stones....

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  12. Nick, admittedly I did not know much about Amy Winehouse, but have seen some of the stories after her death which I believe caused her father to write a biography to rebuke some of those reports. It is so sad when people, including media folk, who did not know the full story of anyone's lives set themselves up as judge and jury. What came to my mind, was all the stories that were published after the untimely passing of Whitney Houston. Marilyn Monroe also had her share of detractors after her death.

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    1. Beatrice: The media are especially guilty, as you would expect them to report facts and not wild speculations. But they've been peddling unsubstantiated nonsense for decades - what's known as trial by media.

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  13. I agree with what you say, Nick! I'm always amazed at how basically strangers assume they know so much about the celebrities they idolize. This can be true of well-known local people in a community as well as national and international celebrities.

    I expect there will always be a segment of media that will capitalize on making their living writing about, photographing and speculating about others as long as there are people who will buy what they produce. The publishers and "buyers" bear responsibility for furthering this business -- "giving the people what they want."

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    1. Joared: People are unable to distinguish fact from fantasy. They think that because their assumptions about celebs are so strong and so persistent, they must be the reality.

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  14. Arm chair critics really annoy me. Like you say, they didn't know Amy Winehouse, and don't know her family. I'd hazard a guess that most of them aren't mental health professionals either.

    So many people seem to think they're an expert on everything. I think it's especially bad when everyone wants to pick apart a decision someone else had to make in an instant. Things can look very different from the safety of your own home and when you have all the time in the world to consider all of the what-ifs.

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    1. Danielle: Very true, instant decisions may not be the best ones, but that doesn't stop the self-appointed experts weighing in on the ineptitude of the decision.

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