Thursday 24 June 2021

Positive ageing

We all know about the negatives of getting older. But what about the positives? There are plenty of them but they don't get so much attention.

Guardian columnist Emma Beddington has listed the things she likes about ageing, and there's a lot I would agree with. Namely:

  • Less fighting with my partner. This happened a lot when I first knew Jenny. Our arguments would go on for days before we managed to kiss and make up. Nowadays we seldom fight over anything, we've devised ways of defusing the situation by being more tolerant, more patient, or just "letting go".
  • Accepting my appearance. I was never a matinee idol or a gorgeous hunk in the first place, and never bothered by the fact, but now I'm even less bothered. I look my age and have no desire to try all those desperate tricks to look younger and fresher.
  • Less bluffing. If I don't understand what someone's saying, I'm more likely to ask for an explanation instead of pretending I'm in the know. I won't make out I'm familiar with cryptocurrency or aerodynamics or particle physics when obviously I'm not.
  • Less social anxiety. I'd like to say that's the case but it isn't. I still have trouble engaging with other people, having an intelligent conversation or believing what I'm saying is worth saying. I'm almost as tongue-tied as when I was a teenager. I guess I care too much about other people's reactions.
  • Delight in small things. I no longer hanker after enormous and spectacular pleasures, nice as they may be. I'm just as likely to exclaim over something quite minor like a choc ice or a display of roses or a dazzling sunset.
I could add a few more things, but that's enough for now....

PS: Pic is not Emma Beddington, by the way

30 comments:

  1. Having been short-sighted since being a child my eyes are now getting more long sighted due to ageing - at this rate I'll have 20/20 vision by the time I'm 100!! That's definitely a positive.
    Sx

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    1. Ms Scarlet: I've also been short-sighted most of my life, but I haven't noticed any improvements in my eyesight as yet.

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  2. I agree with everything on the list. Less bluffing is a good one. It takes courage to admit when you don’t know or understand something. I think overall, you just care less about what other people think!

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    1. Bijoux: It does take courage, doesn't it, because I'm afraid everyone else present will turn out to know a lot more than me, and I'll look like a total ignoramus!

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  3. I live in India where things are different at least, in the circles that I move in. I do not find ageing a problem and in fact think that it offers a lot of advantages. You have been following my blog posts for long now and you would know how comfortable and content my life is thanks to our way of living.

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    1. Ramana: Indeed, I know what a very contented life you have and how well you're treated by other people.

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  4. Being retired means I have more time to think before I act.

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    1. Colette: That's very true. When I was working, I had to make important decisions very quickly. Too quickly and unwisely in some cases.

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  5. I can't think of any advantages, to be blunt.Moving to Costa Rica improved our lives...but that had nothing to do with ageing.

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    1. Fly: Oh, that's rather sad. You must have had an absolutely idyllic youth that couldn't possibly be bettered!

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    2. A fairly normal one, I suspect....but I generally did as I pleased, probably annoyed as many people as I do now, and deeply resent the limitations on me imposed by health problems.

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    3. Fly: I wasn't able to do as I pleased, I was stuck at my ghastly boarding school being told what to do with my day from start to finish. I couldn't wait to leave.

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  6. Replies
    1. Mary: They're good, aren't they? Now I must think of a few more.

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  7. The things you listed are all true for me including still having social anxiety.

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    1. Linda: I guessed this list might apply to a lot of us oldies.

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  8. I sort of I agree with your list. Now and again when I catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror, I see my mother and think "how the heck did that happen"! I saw a youtube video where they "undid" the work that Cher has had done, which I think was a horrid thing to do, she looked like an old lady. I think she looks great, she's a public figure, it's all a matter of how good it makes a person feel. I like the less bluffing and anxiety, and one of my delights is my morning walk with Rufus.

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    1. Polly: Those videos that "redo" someone are pernicious. I agree, Cher looks fine just as she is. As you say, it's a question of what makes you feel good about yourself.

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  9. I like your list Nick!
    I am waiting for the day when people are simply kind.
    all ages. all backgrounds.
    I wonder if that day ever comes.
    we live in a country that literally seems to WORSHIP youth! it sidelines the rest of us. the best thing for me is to simply let it all go by and enjoy life. xo

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    1. Tammy: Yes, if we all got kinder and kinder as we grew older, wouldn't that be something? Unfortunately the obsession with youth is still very evident in the UK too.

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    1. Joanne: I don't think I can add anything to that!

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  11. I've never wanted to go back and be younger than I am. I would have to give up too much.

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    1. Jean: I agree. Apart from anything else, we didn't have the internet, word processing or blogs!

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    2. And we couldn't carry an entire library with us wherever we go.

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    3. Linda: Very true. And we couldn't lie on the beach googling the best local restaurant on Trip Advisor.

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  12. You do write thoughtful posts. I am in agreement about there are advantages to being older. I am like my father, I'm a young person in an older body. Luckily, I enjoy relatively good health. I do have Type 2 diabetes which is irritating in it's erratic response to treatment. I get hot working outside, my sugar is high. I take a nap, my sugar can be acceptable. But worst of all, I have to think all the time about what to eat.

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    1. Ann: Diabetes has to be managed very carefully to avoid complications. I used to work for Diabetes UK so I know what serious problems can develop if you're too casual about it.

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  13. There are definitely positives about growing older for me that outweigh any negatives though there are some of both. But then there always were. Mostly, I think I'm more relaxed about who I am.

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    1. Joared: I think I would say the same, I'm more relaxed about who I am. Especially since I stopped working and having to think about how my employer saw me.

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