Wednesday 18 December 2019

Girl friends

I didn't have that many serious relation-ships before I met Jenny, and they only lasted a few months or even weeks. It wouldn't take long for one of us to become disenchanted with the other and call it a day. I was very picky about who I dated and the women likewise.
  • There was Sue, my very first girl friend, a trainee solicitor who had a mental breakdown after completing her exams and stopped dating.
  • There was Gill, a religious Tory supporter, who was great fun but we finally fell out over politics.
  • There was Caroline, a go-getter and reckless driver who got bored with my laid-back-ness.
  • There was Pamela, who I dropped because she was oddly submissive and deferential to men (I always preferred assertive women).
  • There was Maggie, scatty and accident-prone, who I ruthlessly abandoned after falling for Trish at a party.
  • There was Grethe, a single mum with a truculent son, who I stopped seeing because her highly-stressed chain-smoking was only fuelling my own anxieties.
  • There was Rosie, who took a fancy to me when she was fighting with her existing boy friend, but then made it up with him.
  • And of course there was Trish, a freewheeling sixties flower child. We lived together for about six months before I decided we were incompatible and abruptly pulled the plug. That's something that bugs me to this day. I have no idea what I meant by incompatible. As far as I remember we got on very well. Maybe it was just the masculine fear of commitment.
There were lots of women I lusted after along the way, but they showed not a flicker of interest in return. Hardly surprising since I was never a dazzling Mr Beefcake, more a pigeon-chested Mr Average. I've posted before about my obsession with Gina, who I was besotted with but who always politely rebuffed me.

Then in 1981 I met Jenny. And the rest, as they say, is history.

15 comments:

  1. That's not many?? LOL!
    Different goals in life was the reason for most of my break ups.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bijoux: Well, it's not many considering I didn't meet Jenny till I was 34!

      Delete
  2. I had a few dates, but never anything serious -- no matter how much I would have liked them to be -- until after I left home for the Navy. I had dates with Karen S., Kathy, Cookie (Olivia), Brenda. Then, in 1972, at a USO (a volunteer organization supporting the US military) sponsored function over 1100 miles from home in Wisconsin, I met Karen M. who is just now sitting at her computer across the room from me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mike: Isn't it wonderful when that happens? After numerous dating flops, quite unexpectedly you really connect with someone and your whole life changes.

      Delete
  3. "Picky"? Either you fall in love or you don't. Your tale reminds me of people who, instead of throwing themselves headlong into the ice cold sea, dip a toe in to find it all a bit tepid and withdraw.

    Anyway, and this is just me, I have never ever entered a relationship (the very few I have had since, unlike most, I don't spread myself widely) without being firmly friends and acquainted with that person for quite some time. Seperates the hay from the straw. Which, also, may account that I have fond memories of the few, and allowed me to part amicably and with lots of affection from both my husbands.

    As a matter of interest, not that you have to answer the question since it is rather personal, have you ever felt attracted (by which I do not necessarily mean sexually) to another person since meeting Jenny?

    And, more importantly, do you have any female friends?

    U

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ursula: By picky, I just mean that I'll take a dislike to someone for all sorts of petty reasons and not make any attempt to befriend them.

      I was very sexually attracted to the woman who bought our previous house, but I wasn't going to jeopardise my relationship with Jenny (or the sale of the house) by doing anything about it.

      I have lots of female friends (including Facebook friends) but no really close friends. I don't know why but it never gets to that level.

      Delete
  4. What an interesting post. But like Ursula I feel that we have to invest time into friendship before rolling in the sack, so to speak. The male friends I have maintained are ones I never rolled with, I truly believe that something gets taken away from the friendship once rolled. All the rollers are long gone. Apart from one who might be moving into my building. I don't think I want to do a list though. I don't know why.

    XO
    WWW

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. www: Well, I haven't kept in touch with anyone I had sex with, but then I haven't kept in touch with a lot of other people either.

      Delete
  5. I am impressed. Modesty prevents my listing my girl friends but, I assure you that, I had almost no one as my girl friend compared to you!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ramana: Oh come now, in your younger days there must have been plenty of women giving you the eye. Maybe you never noticed?

      Delete
    2. Seriously speaking, I had only two relationships before my marriage. One ended up in a disaster and the other ended because of differences in our belief systems.

      Delete
    3. Ramana: Well, two earlier relationships is most respectable. A shame one ended in disaster. As for me, Caroline might have been disastrous if her driving had got any worse!

      Delete
  6. Some people have said that seems quite a lot of serious relationships. Well, this is the period from 1965 to 1981 - sixteen years - so that's only an average of one every two years. That doesn't seem very much to me.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I had 2 serious relationships before meeting Ken. Ken and I have now been together for 29 years.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mary: Twenty nine years, that's pretty good going. I think the key factor in couples staying together is plenty of give and take.

      Delete