Thursday, 5 July 2012

Grumpy, moi?

I refuse to moan and groan.
I refuse to become a grumpy old man.
I refuse to let the world's problems get me down.
I refuse to make mountains out of molehills.
I refuse to turn petty irritations into causes célèbres.
I refuse to complain about my bodily deficiencies.
I refuse to denigrate other people's lives.
I refuse to tell other people what to do.*
I refuse to rant and rave.
I refuse to demonise young people.
I refuse to be cynical.
I refuse to be paranoid.
I refuse to see the worst in people.
I refuse to be nostalgic.
I refuse to believe everything was better in the old days.
I refuse to think that I know best.
I refuse to think life's conspiring against me.
I refuse to be offended by bad manners.
I refuse to be offended.
I refuse to over-react.

I refuse to be one of those stony-faced old codgers who buttonhole me at the doctor's surgery or the bus stop and tell me the world's going to pot and nobody cares and the lunatics are running the asylum and he's glad he won't be around much longer and bloody hell, look at that, the way some people dress nowadays (Nick takes out small handgun and puts him out of his misery)

Mind you, Jenny would probably say that if you watch me closely, there's a grumpy old man much closer to the surface than I like to believe. He's just biding his time, honing his invective, but sooner or later he'll burst out of this innocent Clark-Kent exterior and wreak havoc at the number 4A bus stop.

* except for politicians and bankers, naturally. 


  1. refuse sounds rather negative does it not?
    tee hee

  2. I must remember to stay away from the number 4A bus stop!

  3. John - Less negative than being a grumpy old man!

    Grannymar - That won't be too difficult since you live a long way from Belfast....

  4. Diosconcertingly, I spot my old grumpy old woman when I log into my Twitter account. Government this, government that....

  5. waiting for buses could make anyone grumpy :)

  6. I'm not a grumpy old man but I am offended by bad manners

  7. It is all a matter of perception Nick. I consider my father as a grouch and my son considers me as one!

  8. Jenny: I admit to complaining about the government - a lot. But I always balance the criticism with some positive ideas as to what they could be doing instead.

    Kylie: It makes me grumpy for about five minutes, but then I turn my attention to something more interesting.

    Ramana: So do YOU think you're a grouch? Or do you think you're a model of serenity?

  9. I agree that things weren't better in the past, but I don't mind when people are nostalgic. It keeps us connected with those from our past.

  10. Bijoux - It can work that way, but I find that all too often it becomes a sentimental spiel about how wonderful life used to be and how it's just not the same nowadays.

  11. My husband and I decided years ago that we wouldn't waste our time complaining. We laugh instead. It helps that we have one another.

  12. Monk: Good for you, a very sensible attitude. I think you're right, it helps to have someone else - to calm you down and keep things in perspective.

  13. Of course this sign would work too:

  14. Monk: Yes, a $100 fine for each complaint would silence some people very effectively! I like your bit of advice - "Stay curious and open to life. No matter what happens keep learning and growing. Find what you love to do and find a way to share it with others." Curiosity is essential to being fully alive. I'm probably too curious for my own good....



    Trumped you?

  16. Nick, I'm so glad you're human after all- I was getting anxious about your ability to rise above it all :)

  17. Ramana - Eh? I'm not trying to be God, I'm just trying not to be a 24/7 fussbucket.

    Speccy - The only people who can rise above it all are those Himalayan gurus. I try my best but righteous indignation and long-suffering peevishness are always tempting....

  18. You are in fact being in a grump - but in a clever way. All those bus passengers come to have a good old grump with you about the state of the world, and you effectively out grump them by refusing to agree.

    Meanwhile - a pub in Yorkshire is runnign an Unhappy Hour during which the best moan gets a free drink. (The hour last for two, and the pint is only a half.)

  19. Paul - Clever idea but I don't think tuning out the grumps counts as another sort of grumpiness.

    I wonder how they decide on the best moan? How angry you are? How long you moan? How many people agree with you?

  20. Liz: No you don't, God does....