Friday, 3 February 2012

Pinkie in demand

Enough of the nasty side of humanity. Time once again for something soft, pink and fluffy.

The story so far: Mr Pinkie had some self-esteem issues as all his friends were yellow or brown and he felt a bit out of place. But his sessions with therapist Dr Melissa Flinch were helping a lot and he thought he would soon be proud to be pink.

He enjoys being soft and fluffy as this means he has a heart of gold and all the girls adore him. They tell him their deepest secrets and he gives them wonderful advice without ever betraying their confidence.

Little bears everywhere long to be as sweet as Mr Pinkie.

So where is Mr Pinkie now?

He's completed his training as a hairdresser and opened his own salon, Cuts by Pinkie, which is already THE place for smart gals and guys to get the perfect cut for that oh-so-important social occasion.

Of course they don't just get their hair attended to. As always, Mr Pinkie dispenses invaluable tips on how to deal with that distressing personal dilemma or ditch that unwanted suitor.

A big hug from the soft and fluffy Mr Pinkie is wonderfully reassuring and comforting, and so much huggier than the bony contours of the conventional hair stylist.

No wonder Mr Pinkie's appointment book is choc-o-bloc for the next 12 months and potential clients will do anything, ANYTHING, to secure a booking. Some of their suggestions would bring a rosy blush to the most sanguine countenance.

In short, Mr Pinkie is in his prime and floating on air. The world is his oyster. The future is his for the taking.

And before you ask, I have no influence whatever with Mr P. So any discreet (or indiscreet) approaches to me will be firmly rebuffed. Naughty naughty!!


  1. I do hope you will at least publish his salon phone number - ihave been looking for someone I can totally trust to colour my hair that exact shade of pink. Also I would like to discuss mutual self esteem issues with someone kind and sympathetic - I am not bothered about pinkness myself but I do have problems with impulsive efforts to attract attention.

  2. Jenny - Damn, I seem to have misplaced the number. Will have another search for it later.

    Good heavens, are you suggesting Mr Pinkie is setting out to attract attention? Shame on you.

  3. what about if the discreet approach isnt for mr pinkie but for you?

  4. I just got an email from Build a Bear telling me I can make a Kermit or Miss Piggy. I'm sad to say I'm actually tempted... I know the value of a cute cuddly thing!

  5. THAT'S more like it.....
    we all need a bit of pink amid the dross of life!!!!!!!!!!!!

  6. Kylie - Ooh, that would be different of course. Mind you, I'd have to keep it very secret from the wife....

    Speccy - Gosh, they explain it as "an interactive make-your-own furry friend retail-entertainment experience." Does that just mean it's a lot of fun? Mr Pinkie sends you a great big cuddle, btw....

    John - Indeed, a bit of pink among the dross. A mega-hug from Mr Pinkie and you'll forget the dross even existed.

  7. Would Mr Pinkie like being a Toyboy? If so I will make room for him on my pillow!

  8. And now I have the Pink song in my head, "Pretty pretty please don't you ever, ever think you are less than fucking perfect."

  9. Grannymar - I'm sure he would. Especially with someone so glamorous! I'll pass on your phone number. He may not ring for a while though, he's ever so busy....

    Agent - I think Mr Pinkie's self-esteem is now fully restored, so he would share the sentiment. Though being terribly polite and courteous, he would probably not use quite the same wording.

  10. I'm all over pink. Where's Mr Purple?

  11. I want Mr Pinkie's salon number too. I have had my hair dyed purple-pink for a number of years now and I'm ready to try Mr P's more in-your-face pink. I think.

    But I wouldn't trust anyone else to do it!!

  12. Mr. Pinkie can't help me. My husband cuts my hair---during the commercial (TV). It has enough curl so he can't go wrong. BTW I Love pink.

    I'm not really anoymous. I'm bikehikebabe.

  13. Oh I am so over pink as some of my "pink me stupid" posts will attest.

    However I am up for some turquoise so might I suggest a dyebath for Mr. Pepto-Bismal?


  14. Myra - Mr Purple is running the rival salon across the road, but he just doesn't have Mr Pinkie's charisma. He's struggling to keep the salon going.

    Jay - Still looking for that number. Where on earth did I put it? More in-your-face pink? That sounds VERY exciting.

  15. Biker - Very handy if your husband cuts your hair, that must save a fortune in salon charges. Why are women charged so much more than men? As for Mr Pinkie's prices - I daren't even mention them.

    www - Ah yes, I know your horror of pink. Funny how pink was once a masculine colour - it was seen as strong and forceful! Mr Pepto-Bismal? You've lost me there....

  16. Mr. P's hue reminded me of pepto-pink as well...Cute post, Nick!

  17. e - Ah, now I get it, the bright pink bottle. I'm not prone to stomach problems myself, so I've never used the stuff.

    Cute is just the right word to describe Mr Pinkie.

  18. And yet... is it just me or does Mr P still not look happy???

    Oh god, I think I've just failed another rorschach bear blot test...

  19. Macy - Hey, you're right. He still looks a bit bemused, doesn't he? But maybe he's just bemused by his astonishing overnight success....

    Are you implying Mr Pinkie is some kind of blot? On the landscape?