Thursday, 10 May 2007

Far too thin

I've always been thin, especially when I was young and verging on the anorexic, so the women I know are always trying to fatten me up and make me 'healthy'.

Giant chocolate cookies, jam-smothered scones, chunky sandwiches and bowls of chips are pushed in my direction to stop me wasting away any further.

Actually my weight is perfect for my height, but the widespread prevalence of beer bellies and hefty hips makes me look like the oddity. I was actually asked the other day if I had ever been anorexic, so commonplace is it these days.

Even Jenny, who's well used to my body by now, still thinks I'm too skinny and ought to fill out a bit. But she just wants a comfier backrest, if you ask me.

Those who struggle constantly with their weight insist I must be naturally thin and able to stuff myself silly with calorie-rich titbits without gaining an ounce. Well, that was true once but nowadays I have to watch the pounds too.

It's ironic that if I were female I could savour my lucky conformity to the willowy stereotype of Ms Drop Dead Gorgeous. But physical size is fairly low-down on the Ideal Man checklist - what matters more is the size of his bank account and the size of his home. And possibly the size of something more personal.

I'm constantly amazed by the well-upholstered, ample-bellied males that women are happy to be seen with. The only arena in which male thinness is a definite plus seems to be the gay world - I certainly stirred a bit of interest there when I was younger (a lot younger).

For me though, the odd remark about my thinness is just amusing. But it's the thin celebs I feel sorry for. If there's no bulging flesh to be seen, anorexia is the word on everyone's lips - and a hundred denials mean nothing.

(see also Size Zero)


  1. one morning you will wake up weighing 50 stone in a weird calorie karma way - maybe

  2. I'm glad Mr. M is thin even now. I never ever went for heavy guys and find beer guts repulsive.
    I'm thin and I hear from people all the time that I should gain weight alongside the dominant cultural message that prizes the slender woman's body as ideal. A classic double bind.

  3. Flirty - oh dear I always thought of karma as something more benign, like being selfless for 60 years and waking up one day as a saint. I hope to heck it doesn't work the way you suggest.

    Medbh - yes a double bind indeed. They just want us to gain weight so we're in the same boat as them and they don't have to look at our disgustingly spare bodies.

  4. Hah! "disgustingly spare bodies."
    Right on, Nick.
    When I hosted a dinner party for St. Paddy's day SEVERAL people stopped me to tell me that I needed to eat/more gain weight. They fail to see how inappropriate that is. What if I said you need to put the fork down and eat less?

  5. "Put the fork down and eat less". Nice one, must remember that for future occasions.

  6. Hello from another in the slim jim camp. I actually think I have the opposite of Body Dysmorphic Dysfunction: I think I look fine, but when I see photos of myself, I think "Ooh, I look awfully thin there." At 11.5 stone and just under 6 feet, I'm actually perfectly healthy, but I would like to gain another stone or so: but not on the tum, thanks. So I go to the gym to try to gain weight, while all around me are others on the reverse trail. Never happy, are we?

  7. John, I'm the same weight and the same height as you. We're not too thin, we're perfectly healthy as you say. Forget the gym and just keep sampling those neglected books for us.