Wednesday, 28 March 2007

The joy of blogs

Do you want the pleasures of socialising without the drawbacks? Do you want to meet interesting, witty people but be free of their irritating quirks? Then blogs are for you!

It suddenly occurred to me that this is the big attraction of blogging. You can contact an infinite number of people, see whether they've got something stimulating to say, and either read more or walk away and try someone else. No conditions and no obligations except to offer a few blogs of your own that others might be interested in.

Are you serious, say the anti-blog diehards. How can staring at a screen possibly be a substitute for face to face encounters, flesh and blood exchanges in a convivial throng of real human beings loosened up by a few glasses of the amber nectar?

Well yes, such encounters can sometimes be exhilarating and inspiring, but too often they're just a disappointing let-down. You get stuck with the biggest bore in the room, the person you want to talk to is being monopolised by someone else, you've had to buy an incredibly expensive round, and some clumsy eejit has just spilt red wine over your jacket. Who needs it?

In blogworld you can forget all these tiresome trade-offs and just indulge yourself painlessly. No need to buy drinks, food, taxis, fancy clothes or presents. No need to host a dinner party or blitz-clean the house. No need to go out in driving rain or a howling gale. No need to put up with someone's nasty personal habits or bad breath. No need to fend off lecherous males or garrulous females.

And isn't there a whiff of hypocrisy here? How many of these snooty anti-bloggers who despise impersonal communication are following all the gossip about celebrities they'll never meet? Or watching soap operas about completely fictitious characters?

Well then - just sit back, enjoy yourself and fill your brain with new ideas, strange experiences and whacky personalities. And all without stepping outside your own four walls. Who could ask for more?


It has to be said there are some flesh and blood relationships I could never do without, like the one with Jenny - as I explained earlier (Lovers Reunited). Sometimes human beings are so amazing just as they are they're irreplacable. Well, every good idea has its limits.


  1. oooh you are SO embarassing!


  2. I had my 1st encounter with bloggers in the 'real world' a couple of weeks ago. It was strange I knew them so well yet I'd never met before.They were mostly what I expected them to be too.

    Oh, is it OK to smoke when I read your blog? ;-)

  3. That's interesting, because I usually find when I've imagined someone I've never seen they turn out to be totally different. But despite that I'm sure my mental pictures of Alan in Belfast or John Self are very true to life - will I ever find out if I'm right? And no of course you can't smoke when you're reading my blog - what a confounded cheek, you young whippersnapper!