My loved one and I have all sorts of private pet-names but
mostly they stay firmly private. The only one I would use publicly is the essentially
descriptive “sweetheart” and even then only in a sympathetic gathering.
You can speculate furiously but my lips are sealed over the
others. At least we like them all, unlike some pet-names that one partner or the
other hates with a vengeance and tolerates with gritted teeth.
The most loathed term among women is supposedly babe
or baby, closely followed by baby girl, baby doll, pudding and pumpkin. As for
terms like sweetcheeks, snookums and
muffin, I can’t imagine who could actually use them with a straight
face.
Then there’s the question of how you refer to your loved one
in the first place. Personally we loathe the words husband and wife and the
negative associations they still carry, so they’re used strictly as a standing joke. We prefer partner, but some people
dislike the corporate overtones.
“This is my man/woman” is apparently common in Scotland and
Italy. “Lover” was modish at one time but seems to have lost favour. “Boyfriend”
and “girlfriend” are still popular though strangely innocent-sounding in an age
of sexual licence. “Spouse” is horribly formal and somehow vaguely insulting. “Cohabitee”
sounds oddly clinical. One of my blogmates refers to her Significant Other.
Or you can just be super-subtle and say “This is Natalie” or
“This is Damien” , leaving the assembled company to investigate the exact
nature of the relationship for themselves.
As for extra-marital couplings, let’s not even go there.
Though I always had a secret hankering to refer casually to my concubine. And watch
people’s faces.
