Nanny state

We've all done it. We've all fumed at one time or another about the nanny state and how the government keeps giving us advice we don't want or need, and how we're quite able to run our own lives, thanks very much.

We're assailed every day by official guidance on things like healthy food, giving up smoking, drinking less, drug abuse, coping with flu, obesity. We're encouraged to change our bad habits and behave more sensibly.

But do we really need all this advice or is it just patronising guff? Should they just shut up and let us decide for ourselves whether we want to be healthy or unhealthy?

My objection to all this stuff isn't so much that it's unnecessary - some people might welcome a bit of advice - but that a lot of it is misleading and confusing and not actually very helpful.

The experts keep changing their minds about what's healthy and what isn't. How much salt should I eat? How much wine should I drink? The guidelines shift every month. What about obesity? It's supposed to be deadly, but life expectancy keeps rising. How about drug abuse? It's widely condemned, but fatal overdoses are rare.

If we ignored them all and just followed our own instincts - which is what plenty of people do anyway - I doubt if we'd come to much harm. Chances are we'll still live to a ripe old age. And if we know we're overdoing something, only we can decide to stop. Official finger-wagging achieves little.

If the government really want to help people, how about more practical support for people who want to kick serious addictions and personal problems? More rehab centres. More therapists. More social workers. Oh, but I forgot. The government is pruning all those "unproductive" activities as a cost-cutting measure.

But don't worry, folks. Just make sure you eat a bit more fruit and get your flu injection and everything will be fine.

Thanks to Suburbia for the idea

Lucking out

As I get older, I'm constantly amazed and relieved at all the disasters and misfortunes I've somehow managed to avoid, despite all my personal failings and extreme scattiness.

While others have been plagued by huge debts, nasty illnesses, homelessness or chronic addictions, I've been lucky enough to get through life without any serious burdens dragging me down.

I'm not an addictive personality, so I've never succumbed to over-indulgence in drugs, alcohol, pornography, gambling or dieting. I'm naturally inclined to moderation in all things, some would say excessively so to the extent that I'm too guarded and never let go enough.

I've always had a horror of debt, so I keep a close eye on what I'm spending. I'm convinced that I only have to be in hock to the tune of a few hundred pounds and this'll trigger off a breakneck slippage to the sort of eye-watering debts you read about in the papers.

I've managed to hold on to my home, even when jobless or earning a pittance. Of course in my younger days I made do with seedy bedsits hardly big enough to swing a cat and the rents were correspondingly modest. And it helps if you have someone else to chip in with a hefty mortgage.

Grisly illnesses have so far passed me by, despite my sister having MND and my father having a stroke at 55. Being a vegetarian with a fairly healthy lifestyle must reduce the risk but only up to a point. I've never been in a serious car crash or done a hazardous job. I missed the Kings Cross station inferno in 1987 by a matter of minutes.

How come I'm not labouring under some colossal mishap? How come I'm not in jail or in a street doorway or in a rehab centre? It could easily have happened if my life had taken a different route. There but for the grace of God go I.