If they object to being teased, they may be seen as a wet blanket, a party pooper, a tight-laced individual who doesn't want to have a bit of fun.
If you know the person who's doing the teasing, you might assume they're just being friendly and don't mean any harm, but if it's a stranger you might think they're having a dig at you out of malice.
Jenny teases me from time to time, and obviously I'm not offended because I know she's not being malicious. Usually she teases me about my odd quirks and habits, like getting the last tiny scrapings of peanut butter out of the jar.
Misogynists are especially prone to teasing, or rather pretending they're teasing, They'll make some unwanted remark about a woman's appearance or behaviour and claim it was just teasing, just banter. "Don't take everything so seriously, love".
But it can undermine a person's confidence if they're teased a lot, and however well-meant it inevitably seems like a judgment on their character.
Teasing isn't always the playful fun it seems to be.
There is usually a very fine line between affectionate teasing and painful taunting. Unless we know a person very well we are likely to get it wrong.
ReplyDeleteI find it a poor style of humour
Kylie: It's a very fine line and it's easy to get it wrong.
DeleteThere's fun teasing and then there's mean teasing.
ReplyDeleteMary: And mean teasing isn't the slightest bit funny, whatever the teaser might think.
DeleteAs a child, my best friend's father was a teaser. It always felt like anger to me.
ReplyDeleteLinda
Linda: One of my bookshop workmates was a relentless tease. It drove me mad.
DeleteBlimey, this had made me think. I reckon I have been on both sides of this coin - teasing isn’t advisable if you don’t know a person well, and is probably best avoided!
ReplyDeleteSx
Ms Scarlet: Definitely best avoided. You can never tell how the person teased is going to react.
DeleteI suppose non-nurturing teasing, call it toxic teasing, only works because it seems like a fresh one-off that takes a person by surprise. It seems to me that if there is a pattern, a history, of such teasing, then one could have a reply prepared, all ready to go.
ReplyDeleteWhen I try to daydream of replies, I only come up with replies that feel foolish.
Here's my latest attempt: "When I hear you say that, I sense that you have anger issues."
Sean: I'm not sure that anger is the problem. It seems more like a sadistic attempt to damage the other person's confidence.
DeleteThankfully, no one currently in my life now is a teaser. That said, I do recall some hurtful comments when I was in high school but just as thankfully those years are long past.
ReplyDeleteBeatrice: School pupils can sometimes be nasty teasers. Children aren't always as kind as they're made out to be.
DeleteTeasing is not okay especially when asked to be stopped and if it hurts somebody or has underlying truth behind it. I hope you have a happy New Years!
ReplyDeleteTammie: I agree, it's hard to think of an instance of teasing that's totally harmless.
DeleteIt's easy to tell the difference between gentle teasing & hurting someone's feelings.
ReplyDelete