I have to admit that I'm mildly "fatphobic" myself, even though I know very well that a person's weight is often beyond their control because of medicines they're taking, or their genetics, or a hormonal aberration, or addictive food.
I like to think that all you need do to stay thin is to have a bit of self-control and not to eat too much, but of course it's not that simple.
Philippa Perry scolds the woman in question for being fatphobic and lacking compassion and empathy. She points out that 64% of the population are classed as overweight and that 64% is full of wonderful, funny, intelligent and kind people. She rejects the out-of-date idea that they're weak-willed gluttons.
Nevertheless I confess that as a thin person I sometimes find it hard to see past someone's size and focus on their personality. Very prejudiced of me I know but it's hard to shake off such an engrained habit.
I guess my mother had something to do with it, as she was herself rather fatphobic and would always make whispered remarks to me about someone's size.
I like to think that when I was growing up most people were thin, which proves that people can be thin if they really want to be. But my erratic memory is probably deceiving me once again.
Okay, I plead guilty, I'm not as right-on as I think I am.
Pic: Beth Ditto
Obesity is a very interesting thing. I was super thin right up to my 30s. Through my 30s I got to be a healthy weight but then it just kept going and by the time I was 50 I was classified as obese.
ReplyDeleteSo how come I managed to be a healthy weight for so long and then became obese quite quickly?
I had very poor sleep related to peri-menopause, I was stressed due to money pressures and life circumstances and I lost all routine to my eating because I was at home all the time. All of those factors cause people to gain weight. More discipline might have helped on the being home all day factor but not on the others.
Once a persons sleep is disrupted, the hormonal systems that tell a person when to eat and how much get all out of whack and then eating too much gets them further out of whack. Let me tell you that we THINK we control what we eat but we are so heavily controlled by hormones, it becomes a losing battle.
Even though I know all of this, I still have fat phobia, it's a way of thinking that's hard to kick, but I try to keep reminding myself that fat isn't related to will power or moral failure.
I once overheard a conversation where the person talking was the receptionist guiding job applicants through a building to the interview and she quite deliberately walked very fast to make the overweight applicant tired, red faced and flustered. I may be fat phobic but that was just cruel
Kylie: I've heard a lot of people saying they were thin until middle-age or so, and then they kept on gaining weight. It's a bit of a mystery. I didn't know disrupted sleep could cause over-eating. I often wake up during the night but it doesn't affect my eating habits. I think identifying what causes over-weight is still very much guesswork.
DeleteNick I was very thin until the age of 65 when I started to have serious health problems and was obliged to take 5 different medications . From 55kg for 1m65 my weight is now 75 kg which provokes a certain despair , but I know that my weight is due to the medication and of course I am thankful to live thanks to the pills. I think it's terrible how "fat" people are looked at and I never had any problem with them. My best school friend was an obese boy and he is still my friend today. We should not discriminate people because we never know why they are overweighed . There are so many different reasons .
ReplyDeleteHannah
Hannah: That's 11 stone 11 pounds which is four pounds more than me (and I'm six foot)! As you say, better to be alive and overweight than six feet under. You've reminded me that I also had an overweight friend at school, and I never thought twice about his weight.
DeleteFatphobia appears to be a prejudice just like any other. It's hard for me to understand why anyone cares about someone else's weight, unless someone is so thin or so overweight that it threatens their health.
ReplyDeleteColette: I guess I care about someone's weight because we're told over and over how unhealthy it is to be fat and what a burden it is on the NHS.
DeleteI suspect it has more to do with your mother's whispers. I have a friend whose mother did the same to her. Except in her case, the mother made jokes about fat people, as if they weren't fully human.
DeleteColette: Judging fat people is rude enough, laughing at them is despicable.
DeleteI used to walk a lot but since having to be within call for Leo the walking is out and the weight has gone on. Mark you, when I look at some of the ladies around me I wonder why I bother about it.
ReplyDeleteFly: Yes, exercise does help to keep the pounds off. I try to walk for at least 30 minutes every day.
DeleteI'm glad you can't see me.
ReplyDeleteIn my teens, I spent a few years trying to get up to 100 pounds. I can't even get close to being back to that weight now.
Linda
Linda: Goodness, seven stone, that's very light indeed. I used to be 10½ stone before I met Jenny but once she started feeding me hefty evening meals I put on an extra stone!
DeleteI was 'well covered' until I left home in my twenties. Now people call me thin. I blame my mum's cooking!
ReplyDeleteAnyhow, I think if you grow up believing you're tubby that you become more aware of dieting and calories etc, so in a sense I was educated about food at an early age. Some of my thinner contemporaries continued to eat whatever they liked well into middle age and ended up putting on the pounds. As you get older you need less calories, especially if you become less active.
Anyhow, am I fat phobic? Yes and no - part of me really wants to help - but my fatter friends will not listen to my advice, which actually makes me rather cross with them - they cause me a lot of worry.
Sx
Ms Scarlet: I think a lot of overweight people don't listen to advice because their reasoning is, I've got to die of something so why worry if I'm doing something unhealthy?
DeleteJoanne says: "I can't speak to Fat phobia. I don't do it."
ReplyDeleteJoanne: I suspected that would be your opinion!
DeleteI'm a big woman, fat as some would say. I always have been and I'm ok with that. I don't really care what others think anymore. I used to when I was younger but my weight has nothing to do with them so I don't let their opinions bother me. I'm ok with who I am and that's all that matters to me.
ReplyDeleteMary: Exactly, if you're okay with who you are, people who want to judge you should just mind their own business.
DeleteAs a thin person, I’ve also found that the opposite attitude exists. I get a lot of comments like, ‘you should eat something.’
ReplyDeleteBijoux: Strangely, very few people have remarked on my thinness. But I remember my driving instructor telling me I was too thin and recommending something called "Weight On".
ReplyDelete