Sunday, 21 May 2023

Cynicism be gone

One of the challenges of old age is not to be overwhelmed by cynicism, not to be jaundiced by all my knowledge of life's tricks and dodges but to still be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed and optimistic about what the future might bring.

There are too many oldies who sink into unrelenting scepticism, scoffing at everything in sight and refusing to believe anyone could be honest or decent or well-meaning.

Yes, I'm aware of all the corrupt politicians, profiteering businesses, bullying bosses and foot-dragging bureaucrats, but I don't allow them to poison my general view of life or my attitudes to other people.

I've had a few periods of acute cynicism over the years, which didn't do me any good but only spoiled my enjoyment of life and turned me into a miserable sod.

Cynicism is apparently bad for your health too. A research study in 2014 found that people with high levels of cynical distrust were three times more likely to develop dementia than people with low levels of cynicism.

It strikes me that cynicism is closely related to misanthropy - disliking human beings and avoiding human society. But I'm not misanthropic. I don't (in general) hate human beings, I just find the behaviour of some of them baffling and peculiar. I certainly wouldn't actively shun human company, that seems a rather eccentric thing to do.

One thing that feeds cynicism is that unpleasant experiences stick in the memory more vividly than pleasant ones. I'll remember someone who shouted abuse at the bus driver but I won't remember the person who gave up their seat to an unsteady oldie. From there it's easy to generalise quite wrongly about how nasty people are.

Cynicism, be gone. I have no use for you.

17 comments:

  1. You're right. I try very hard not to be a miserable old bat, and I regularly try to reconnect with the wonderment I felt when I was a child - it's easier to do on a sunny day like today, and when my aches and pains aren't playing up!!
    I wish I would recall all the pleasant stuff as strongly as the horrible stuff. Is it a survival mechanism? Remembering the rough stuff so vividly is supposed to keep us safe and out of danger? But it also makes us miserable.
    Sx

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    1. Ms Scarlet: Yes, wouldn't it be great to reproduce the constant wonderment of childhood? And you could be right that recalling the horrible things is a survival mechanism.

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  2. This is very true. Chronically cynical and pessimistic people are wearisome and depressing to be around. I regard them as toxic and try to minimize interaction.

    Part of the problem, at least in the US, is that cynicism and pessimism are fashionable and make people feel like they're being more sophisticated. Whenever I post something with a positive outlook, no matter how well supported by evidence, I can count on at least one or two of the moan-groan-doom-gloom crowd to show up and shit all over it in the comments.

    I wouldn't even say it's necessary to cultivate a specifically optimistic outlook. It's enough just to be realistic rather than insisting on viewing the world through poo-colored glasses.

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    1. Infidel: Very true that cynicism and pessimism are fashionable right now. But it must be quite an effort to maintain that cynical outlook all day and every day.

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  3. There are plenty of nice people in the world...but don't the baddies really depress one!

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    1. Fly: The baddies are depressing, I agree. Especially the politicians with their endless lies and broken promises and bogus statistics.

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  4. Call me eccentric. I stopped socializing several years ago when someone where I live made fun of the way I was grieving my father's death. I am still friendly when running errands or attending medical appointments but I don't attend any of the social events here.
    Linda

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    1. Linda: Making fun of someone's grief is inexcusable. I'm not surprised you now steer clear of social events.

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  5. It's depressing to be the cynic, so I'm not that person.

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    1. Joanne: I can't see you as a cynical person. You're much too positive about life.

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  6. It is said once we lose our sense of wonder we are doomed and I truly believe that.
    XO
    WWW

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    1. I agree with you. Without a sense of wonderment our lives would be greatly impoverished.

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  7. I played around with a child’s net in a pond yesterday and loved every moment of it

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    1. John: Me too. I do all sorts of "childish" things and enjoy them immensely.

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  8. Mary: I don't talk much in person either, but that's mainly because I'm retired and don't meet that many people.

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  9. It’s hard to not become cynical. I think it’s part of the wear and tear our bodies and minds go through.

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    1. Bijoux: It is hard because the older we get the more we know about the seamy side of life and
      you can't just unknow it.

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