There does seem to be a common assumption that retirement is great and there's no downside, that you're rolling in money and always off on the next cruise or the next luxury city break.
Of course this wonderful image is half-true at best, as the minuses of retirement are usually glossed over or spun as if they're benefits. To name a few:
- You might have medical problems that limit what you can do
- You might be expected to look after boisterous and exhausting grandchildren
- You might be very short of money
- You might miss your old workmates
- You might feel isolated or lonely or bored
- You might have to care for frail elderly relatives
The other thing that annoys me is someone asking what I do now I'm retired, as if, stripped of employment, I have no other interests and don't know what to do with myself. Why should I have to justify my retirement with a list of worthy activities? Why shouldn't I just watch rubbish TV all day if I feel like it?
How's my retirement going? Is that a trick question?
Very true about retirement -- I certainly don't miss anything about work, nor have a lack of things to do, but it's not all problem free by any means.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure everybody asking that question has such expectations, though. In some cases they may simply be curious, perhaps trying to anticipate what their own retirement will be like.
Infidel: Yes, I guess simple curiosity might be behind the questions. Especially among people with very demanding jobs, who wonder what they'd do without the job to keep them busy.
DeleteMy husband has not reached the age of retirement, but I can see how the question would be annoying. I’ve always hated when people asked me, as a stay at home mom, what I did all day.
ReplyDeleteYes, that's great, isn't it, Bijoux, "what do you do all day?". Hmm, let me count the ways.
DeleteThe worst when, at party, a friend of mine (mother of four, a sweet, lovely person) was asked - in my earshot - what she "did". "OH", she said, "I am JUST a housewife". For eff's sake. Next day I gave her a stern talking to. I believe she never uttered those words again.
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Bijoux: Indeed, asking a stay at home mum what she does all day is pretty ignorant.
DeleteUrsula: "I'm just a housewife" is remarkably self-effacing. I must admit there were occasions when I described myself as "just a bookseller" as if bookselling was something utterly trivial and pointless.
DeleteI have been in retirement for too long now for people to ask me that. They simply assume that all is well as I am quite active in the social media and they know that I am alive and kicking.
ReplyDeleteRamana: But don't you still get questions about retirement from people much younger than you?
DeleteApart from family, not many young people in my life!
DeleteRamana: Not many young people in my life either. So not that many annoying questions!
DeleteBy luck of the draw, and my temperament, I rarely get annoyed. Not even at stupid questions. Not everyone's conversational approach is up to scratch.
ReplyDeleteStill, you could always answer: "Yes, it's great to be with one foot in the grave. You know, the waiting room. In the meantime, I read Hegel." Which, Nick, is the worst you can do to spend the rest of your days.
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Ursula: A once-neighbour of ours used to say he was "in the departure lounge". I've never read Hegel but I'm certainly getting through some well-known authors I never got round to when I was working.
DeleteI don't get that particular question very often. More often I get asked if I'm still working. I retired in 2007 at 55, but kept going back under contract about half the time until just before I turned 66, so that question is understandable. I stopped doing that almost 5 years ago.
ReplyDeleteThe other question I get is, "Keeping busy?" Usually that's from other from other retirees, most of whom have plenty to do, often when we run into each other in the home improvement store or Walmart.
If someone asks how my retirement's going, I just say, "Great!"
Well, I gotta get busy. This morning is the biweekly retiree breakfast of people that used to work at the nuclear plant.
Mike: I didn't retire till I was 71 so I was more than ready to kiss goodbye to working. I know quite a few retirees who seem to be amazingly busy - taking classes, looking after grandchildren, travelling, book clubs, you name it. Never a dull moment!
DeleteI am sorta, I think, about 70% in what people call "retired" which is a word I happen to hate also. I mean there is no retiring from life, is there? We stick it together, whatever our challenges, and cope as best we can with the limited energy (and any retiree who denies the lack of energy is a liar). I do more now of what I loved when I had to earn my crust. Writing, holding workshops and still holding fast with a little of the accounting I still do well but more slowly.
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www: Indeed, there's no retiring from life, and we have to just make the best of whatever circumstances we find ourselves in. It's good that you're now doing more of what you loved than when you were earning.
DeleteI love the word retirement! It will be 29 years October 31. It means getting to choose how we spend our time. That's always been a high priority for me.
ReplyDeleteJean: Twenty nine years? You must have retired at a very early age! Yes, it means you can choose how to spend your time instead of being at someone else's beck and call.
DeleteI worked a series of jobs (first bookkeeper in small businesses until they became routine and I passed them on) one after another while taking breaks in between. One day realized I hadn't taken another job recently. Huh, I must have retired without noticing it.
ReplyDeleteLinda Sand
Linda: You retired without noticing it? That's one way of doing it!
DeleteAs you know my husband was a doctor with "Médecins sans Frontières" and now with more rhan 80 years he still works several times a week as a volunteer. We just opened our home for 3 young people, a young man with his two sisters from Afghanistan. A wonderful way to stay young . Our retirement will probaly start with our death !
ReplyDeleteHannah
Hannah: Volunteering several times a week at over 80 is quite something! Likewise welcoming the three youngsters from Afghanistan. We give regular donations to MSF as they obviously do very good work. The medical evacuation train is wonderful.
DeleteBoth my husband and myself were fortunate enough to retire in our 50s for various reasons, thankfully none were health-related. We have never missed the working world and never have problems filling our time. Sometimes, we do things together but are also capable of self-sustaining interests.
ReplyDeleteWe know other seniors who regularly assist with care of grandchildren, so much so that their schedules are built around this babysitting or school pick-ups. Our grands live a sufficient distance that child minding is not what we do.
Sadly, our parents are deceased. Currently neither of us has serious or limiting medical issues.
While we socialize with others at weekly dominoes get togethers, making long-lasting friendships is admittedly more difficult as one ages. The best friends we knew from years ago may have passed or leave too far away to see on a regular basis.
While TV watching is never in our routine, I can understand that for others, it is a source of entertainment and companionship.
Suddenly I can comment again...goodness only knows how or why...
ReplyDeleteWe retired early due to Leo's health problems. I enjoyed my work and miss it - the clients, the colleagues, sometimes the sheer daftness of it. Most of our friends were older and have died, but moving has allowed us to make a few new friends - though the COVID business put paid to socialising for a while. We have plenty of interests to keep us busy but something I have noted here is that generally people assume older people have plenty to do, so the uestion of how you are passing retirement does not arise.
Fly: Interesting that it's assumed old people have plenty to do. Maybe looking after grandchildren, other family commitments, volunteering?
DeleteI think people ask because their interested. If they're still working they're perhaps looking forward to retirement and so live vicariously through folks who are retired. I've heard many retired people say they are so busy, they don't know how they had time to work. I think for some, it's a real adjustment. My husband who still works (71 yrs old), is concerned he will be bored if he retires; but is constantly being asked why he's still working. I don't get bored; but he does...so when and if he ever gets around to retiring, I think it will be a real adjustment for him. I've also heard from a number of folks that retiring seems to be harder on men than women because their identity is so wrapped up in the employment...particularly if it was a long term employment.
ReplyDeleteSandy: I retired at 71, and I'm very seldom bored. I have plenty of interests to keep me busy. But yes, some men are so heavily invested in their job that retiring can be a difficult transition.
DeleteRetirement is often said to be a time when you wonder how you ever found time to work! I know quite a few people who do seem to bear this out, but perhaps more who don't .
ReplyDeleteJenny: I'm not that busy, but my Jenny has all sorts of interests that keep her very well occupied.
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