Many people feel free to blurt out whatever nonsense comes to mind, or to act in a clumsy and thoughtless fashion, regardless of how their words and actions might be perceived by others.
I'm thinking for example of the dozens of employees of Clarence House, the King's current residence, who were abruptly informed by email that they would be sacked. Could they not have been given the news in person?
I'm thinking of all those people who criticise celebrities, picking holes in every aspect of their personalities and their lives, oblivious to how upsetting this might be to those on the receiving end day after day.
Likewise, all the abuse directed at frontline employees who're simply trying to do their job and aren't responsible for their employer's failings - shop assistants, doctors' receptionists, paramedics, call centre staff, delivery drivers.
Then there are the MPs bullying and harassing their personal staff, who are expected to put up with such behaviour by "taking the rough with the smooth".
Some people might say that Brits habitually employ a very British form of tact - not mentioning a subject at all in case they offend someone. They avoid sensitive subjects like religion, politics, the royal family, transgender and relationship breakdowns for fear of the reaction.
But it seems to me that nowadays such diplomatic silence is not so common and people are holding forth on anything they feel strongly about, regardless of how it might go down with their listeners.
Do tell me I'm wrong and there's plenty of tact around - I'm just not noticing it.
It is awful, and I think most of the blame is the internet. People can easily hide behind an online persona and say things they would never say to anyone’s face. But yes, it has carried over to in person contacts, though I think to a much lesser degree.
ReplyDeleteI think a lot of what you see is a lack of empathy. People seem unable to put themselves in another’s shoes, therefore making them incapable of understanding the hurt that their words can cause.
Bijoux: The internet and its anonymity are very much to blame, as you say. And yes, a lack of empathy, of any attempt to understand another person.
DeleteI don't understand. It's as if everyone who cannot remember a temper tantrum at age two feels entitled to give one another go. Nothing has changed; it's a waste of breath and tears, time and space.
ReplyDeleteJoanne: Indeed, it's just the adult version of a toddler's temper tantrum. And unfortunately some of these forever toddlers are actually indulged.
DeletePerception is important. A lack of tact reflects badly on the person displaying it.
ReplyDeleteI am fortunate that most of the time I don't have to deal with that in my online interactions. I spend a lot of time working on and administering a local 8600 member Facebook grassroots group with some common goals. While there is some lack of tact in some of the comments, most of the time it's due to poor communication skills and/or education level. (I've only banned two people.)
Mike: Goodness, looking after an 8600 member group sounds like a full-time job! Glad to know that most of them are tactful and don't cause any trouble.
DeleteI keep my mouth shut a lot of the time, and sometimes tape my fingers together to avoid an outburst of typing.
ReplyDeleteI blame........[ tact in action ] I am not going to say who I blame.
Sx
Ms Scarlet: I blame first and foremost social media. As Bijoux says, you can get away with vicious abuse as long as you're anonymous.
DeleteThere may be plenty of tact around but, I find it difficult to be tactful with an increasing number of morons who are glued to their mobile phones all the time. Take for instance a courier who came to deliver a parcel to me. He rang me up to get directions to my home but, would not listen to my directions and instead followed the google locater on his mobile and wasted my and his fifteen minutes before I was able to get him to reach me from just 200 Mts away. I found it extremely difficult to be tactful with that whatever you want to call people who believe the technology is better than experienced human beings.
ReplyDeleteRamana: indeed, a lot of people seem to think their mobile phone is the great oracle, and ordinary human beings are not worth listening to.
DeletePeople have lost their ever lovin minds and feel justified in just saying or doing or acting any way they want. it's ridiculous.
ReplyDeleteMary: That's right. They're oblivious to how their remarks and actions might affect others.
DeleteI think you're right that most people are tactless.
ReplyDeleteDanielle: More so than they used to be, I think. The sheer volume of abuse levelled at public figures is horrifying.
DeleteYou bring to mind the behavior of the new king recently in two different events related to signing docs. And I found him extraordinarily rude and dismissive and his treatment of the Queen Consort was quite ugly. Not surprised at the remote firing of his staff, all of whom should write memoirs. Up to that point I had admired his prescient climate change speeches but found him petulant and rude in his new role. Not a model anyone should aspire to, grief or no grief.
ReplyDeleteXO
WWW
www: Exactly what I thought. Getting angry and sweary over a leaky pen isn't a good look for a new monarch. He seems to be emotionally immature. The Queen would never have behaved like that. She would probably have cracked some witticism about leaky pens.
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