I've never had that attitude. I've never taken anything for granted, and I'm very aware that some bizarre twist of fate could take away all those things I'm accustomed to overnight. Nothing is guaranteed, nothing is cast in stone, life can change utterly in a moment.
I think taking things for granted is a good definition of entitlement. Instead of thanking your lucky stars for being so fortunate, you feel you have what you have because you're entitled to it.
It makes a big difference if your life only took a turn for the better as you got older. If you've always had a privileged life and never had to struggle for a step upward, then you're more likely to take things as a matter of course.
If your early life was deprived or constrained, then you realise you can't take anything for granted and when things improve you always have a sense that life is precarious, fragile, that nothing is as solid as it seems.
In my late twenties I didn't have much money, I lived in a spartan bedsit, I had few friends and my father wouldn't speak to me. As my life gradually brightened over the years, I enjoyed the change but I was never complacent about it. I knew so much was down to luck or being in the right place at the right time.
Your life is more precarious than you think. As a deadly virus has been reminding us for many months.
Indeed - never take anything for granted. All of it could be whipped away in a nano-second.
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Ms Scarlet: Absolutely. Like the residents of that Miami condo that partly collapsed while they were asleep.
DeleteReading obituaries one learns that the person 'became' whatever it was and I always wondered just what the 'became' covered....influence, money cronyism, for the most oart, I imagine. I had plenty of entitled colleagues - nice people, for the most part, but completely ignorant of the life chances of ordinary people who have to watch thei step at every step.
ReplyDeleteFly: An alarming number of people have no idea what it's like to be at the bottom of the heap, struggling through each day and worrying about a hundred things they have no control over.
DeleteIt’s easy to take anything for granted, until it’s taken away.
ReplyDeleteBijoux: I don't take anything for granted even when it seems to be rock-solid. Life is always unpredictable.
ReplyDeletea wonderful thought provoking post Nick.
ReplyDeleteonly a Fool or as you say an 'entitled' person could think they did anything alone... or that what they have is even guaranteed to last. Nothing lasts! it makes Eckart Tolle's advice to Live in the NOW so wise and truly important.
Tammy: The whole concept of a "self-made man" (or woman) is absurd, because we're all reliant on many other people for the things we need in life.
DeleteMy best piece of luck was meeting my Dave while still in high school. He completely changed my life for the better. I would be nowhere near where I am now without him.
ReplyDeleteLinda: Likewise. My life improved in so many ways after I met Jenny in 1981.
DeleteA lot of people do take their lives for granted. I never have. I don't have a lot but I'm glad for what I do have.
ReplyDeleteMary: Jenny and I are better off than a lot of others but I could never be smug about it. Our lives could change just like that.
DeleteYou have made some good points here, Nick as far too many people seem to think that they are entitled and act as such. Events in recent days have made me realize that nothing should be taken for granted and yes I am thinking of all those folks in that FL condo collapse.
ReplyDeleteBeatrice: Every day there are totally unexpected disasters like the Grenfell Tower fire. Nothing can be taken as done-and-dusted.
DeleteI don't even know anyone who was born to the silver spoon.
ReplyDeleteJoanne: I've met a few - and my goodness, how sickening they are.
DeleteWe were talking tonight about being satisfied with what you have versus wanting what you don't have.
ReplyDeleteI am in agreement with you about you have written. I've felt lucky about some negative things that have happened in my life in that they have made me more resilient. However, next life, I'm going for a charmed life.
Ann: I'm not sure the negative things in my life made me more resilient. I just managed to get through them and then breathe a sigh of relief. I'm not sure they made me any tougher. But yes, a charmed life would be good!
DeleteI thank my lucky stars every day.
ReplyDeleteJoan: Me too. Things could have gone so differently.
DeleteGoing from roach and rat infested living conditions in my late teens, the only thing I took for granted was that things could be better. Through a series of fortunate decisions, they turned out quite well, indeed.
ReplyDeleteMike: I never encountered roaches or rats, but there were several mice hiding away in my bedsit. I had to stuff up all the holes in the skirting boards and stop dropping crumbs!
DeleteI hear what you're saying but I think entitlement is quite nuanced. My ex grew up with a widowed mother in a place with no social security. Life was really hard and he had a couple of small lucky breaks, enough that we purchased our own house and so on.
ReplyDeleteHis history would seem to exclude him from entitlement but he has the unerring sense that the world owes him something. I suspect it's partly a trauma reaction and partly the entitlement of maleness.
Suffice to say its more complicated than history and birth
Kylie: It's strange when people think the world owes them something. As you say, it's complicated. Certainly many males are brought up with a sense of entitlement. And if you see yourself as a victim, you can feel you're entitled to help from all and sundry.
DeleteAs per your definition, my life has been a natural order of things.
ReplyDeleteRamana: Lucky you!
DeleteMy husband and I talk about this almost every day--how lucky we are, how we need to notice every good day, every good thing in our lives, because you just never know. His having cancer 10 years ago made us both see how precious life is and how important it is to make the best of it.
ReplyDeleteJennifer: That's it, it's important to appreciate all the good things while we have them because fate can trip us up at any moment.
DeleteI do believe the more that we suffer and then gain peace and some serenity and acceptance the happier we are. Happiness is an inside job and pain has to be the door opener.
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www: I'm not sure that suffering leads to peace and serenity. It could equally lead to resentment and anger.
DeleteProbably having everything not always be easy prepares us to expect the unexpected. Makes it easier to cope with life, I think, which I experienced very early in life. The older we are before that happens the harder life might be I believe, or it might have been for me.
ReplyDeleteJoared: Yes, early setbacks make it easier to deal with the unexpected later in life.
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