An article in the Independent claims that "the generation wars seem worse than ever" and "the debate is becoming more toxic". Really? Where's the evidence, apart from a load of dubious anecdotes and stereotypes?
Most families include people of different ages and different generations. Are they all at loggerheads, constantly fuming and accusing each other of heinous offences? No, of course they aren't.
Some people get on well, some don't. That's all there is to it. I wasn't at war with my mother or my grandparents or my aunts and uncles. We may not have had the same opinions or attitudes but we rubbed along okay. I was estranged from my father for 20 years but that was exceptional.
Yes, some young people accuse us oldies of making their lives worse while we enjoy the fruits of much better lives. Yes, some oldies accuse young people of knowing it all despite their limited experience of the world.
Most of us take people as we find them however and don't trot out such one-sided stereotypes.
There's a natural tendency though for each generation to think they know better than any other generation - the young because they see us oldies as hopelessly out of touch with the modern world, oldies because we have so much more experience of the problems that life throws up, and the middle-aged because they're in the midst of so many situations the young haven't yet encountered and the oldies have forgotten about - like parenting or running a business.
Bu it takes more than self-righteousness to make a war.
I had problems with my father but, not with my mother. I have no issues with either my son or daughter in love or both. There are many young people in my life from family and friends and I have no complaints against any of them.
ReplyDeleteI think that this generation gap is an artificial construct. I suggest that there is only a memory gap.
Ramana: It is indeed an artificial construct. I bet the journalist herself gets on just fine with her elderly relatives.
DeleteI haven't observed a war, these inventions drive me crazy. My grandgirl and her partner and I have the most interesting conversations about all sorts of significant world events and listen to each other. My daughter often tells people the best thing anyone can do is "Listen to your mother".
ReplyDeleteAnd of course I listen to them and consult them also for their wisdom.
All generations have much to offer each other.
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www: I remember that in the late sixties young people like myself were fascinated by the ideas put forward by such oldies as R D Laing, Timothy Leary, Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, Martin Luther King, Betty Friedan and many others. That old quote "Don't trust anyone over 30" was never taken seriously.
DeleteIt’s definitely more a personality thing than age. There are nasty folks in every age group.
ReplyDeleteBijoux: Agreed, there are nasty folks in every age group. And nasty folks who are happy to blame everything on a different age group.
DeleteI don't think that it's an age difference but more a personality difference that can unsettle people. Although, sometimes age can be a factor because of the generational gap.
ReplyDeleteBeatrice: Personality differences are much more significant than what age group you belong to. Young people can easily disagree with other young people.
DeletePersonally I like learning from people younger than myself as the world around us changes.
ReplyDeleteLinda: Me too. Much better to learn from other people rather than disliking them or blaming them.
DeleteI believe generations found they needed to get on this past year. I've never had a generational problem in my long enough life.
ReplyDeleteJoanne: Can't say I've ever had a generational problem myself, with the exception of my father. I've never been affected by ageism either.
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ReplyDeletei've never had a generational problem,,,but I do deplore the lack of intellectual rigour in modern education.
Fly: I have no inside knowledge of modern education so I can't comment on that. But there wasn't much intellectual rigour in my schooling either - except the English Literature classes where we tore the books to pieces!
DeleteI see the results in friends' grandchildren. perhaps I was lucky in my school, but others at university seemed to have had the same type of education.
DeleteFly: Jenny used to be a university lecturer, and she was always commenting on the intellectual shortcomings of her students!
DeleteSo were my lecturers! A lecturer friend recently retired reckons the dons of our generation would have either run amok or committed suicide given the current intake...he reckons he was saved by regular doses of claret and playing cricket.
DeleteFly: Claret and cricket - that's one way to cope. Jenny's response was good fiction, wine and retail therapy!
DeleteI have no time for journalists, they're always trying to stoke up dissent. I get on well with my daughter, she takes the mickey out of me now and again and we laugh at some of my foibles! I get on well with my grandson, we differ on many subjects but that's due to the differences outlined in you last paragraph. I also like talking to young people I know in the village and would like to think that they like talking to me too.
ReplyDeletePolly: I started my work life as a local journalist, and the attempts to stir people up and get juicy quotes (sometimes fabricated) were one reason I went into bookselling instead. Good that you get on well with your daughter and grandson.
DeleteIn reality I think it's very few people that have these types of problems with each other. But there are always a few bad apples in the bunch.
ReplyDeleteMary: Yes, it's more a question of bad apples. Most people just want to rub along with each other without too much friction.
DeleteI like Ramana's idea that it's more of a memory gap! I think that's true.
ReplyDeleteI remember my mum getting very uppity about me staying out late and partying. After she died I found letters from her mother telling her to not stay out late partying when she was staying with an aunt!
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Ms Scarlet: I think a lot of parents conveniently "forget" how they behaved when they were the same age as their teenage kids. They suddenly get very nervous about what their kids might be getting up to.
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