I'm really not bothered by people talking with their mouth full, eating with their fingers, licking their fingers, wolfing down food, blowing on their food, stretching for something across the table, making slurping noises, piling their plate with as much food as possible, or scraping their plate of every last morsel.
I'm too focused on what the other person is saying to dwell on their table manners - unless they're belching non-stop or flinging food on the floor. Which thankfully isn't customary among those I usually eat with.
Like many things, this probably goes back to my childhood. My parents were never very strict about table manners at home and it was basically "anything goes" as long as us kids weren't totally sloppy. Doing our share of the washing up afterwards was more important.
Restaurants were a different matter. My mother was quite a messy eater herself but happily criticised other people's table manners in restaurants. I would listen with some embarrassment as she loudly ticked someone off. At least she didn't complain to them directly, which would have been even more embarrassing.
What bothers me more than how a person eats is someone who spends the entire meal looking at their phone and sending texts. Or parents who chomp away obliviously while their children run amok. Or a wobbly table that keeps shifting up and down unpredictably.
Perhaps restaurants should be divided into two sections - one for messy eaters who can be as slap-happy as their like, and one for careful eaters who follow all the rules.
Then we'd all be happy.
I haven't been out for a meal in a mighty long time and have forgotten how it used to be. I do however remember writing about how people used their mobile phones instead of talking to each other over the table.
ReplyDeleteRamana: It's the modern equivalent of reading a newspaper at the table, which was equally annoying.
DeleteThe checking of phones during a meal is the worst! I’m not generally bothered, but finger licking would be over the top.
ReplyDeleteBijoux: So the "finger-licking good" KFC wouldn't appeal to you one bit (except that they've removed that slogan until the pandemic subsides).
DeleteMy maternal grandmother was strong on table manners...and on continuing conversations at mealtimes. Should the talking flag she would announce ' silence in the pig sty' to indicate that we were not carrying out our obligations in that respect.
ReplyDeleteFly: My house was the opposite. My father didn't approve of conversation while we were eating.
DeleteI was brought up with strict table manners and told it was a matter of respect and courtesy for others. I despise being sprayed with food or seeing the contents of another's mouth along with those reaching across to grab stuff off my plate. I was appalled when in Canada first to see people eating chicken and ribs with their HANDS. I wrote my mother saying I had landed amongst savages.
ReplyDeleteXO
WWW
www: I would certainly object to being sprayed with food. I like your comment about landing among savages!
DeleteHurray for eating with our fingers! Andy and I don’t like eating in restaurants, so we don’t have to worry about bothering other people or being bothered. In fact, it’s the noise in restaurants that bother us. Is that a problem in Ireland too?
ReplyDeleteJean: I find the noise levels in most restaurants here quite okay, not loud enough to impede conversation. But I do sometimes dislike the music they're playing!
DeleteA lot of them here are too noisy to have a conversation. I've even heard of people sitting across from one another texting to communicate. No thanks!
DeleteJean: Pubs can be incredibly noisy, so much so I rarely enter one these days. Two hours of shouting at people to overcome the background noise is no fun.
DeleteI've become aware that I eat at home in ways I would not do in public. Which makes me wonder what I'll be like if I get decrepit enough to have to live in a community setting.
ReplyDeleteAs to chicken and ribs, I eat them with one fork and one hand. :)
Linda: We're vegetarian, so no chicken and ribs for us. But we're happy eating pizza slices with our fingers. And naan bread. And chips.
DeleteSlurping, smacking your lips, chewing with your mouth open and talking with a full mouth do bother me. It always has.
ReplyDeleteMary: Perhaps we should all eat in our own little cubicles to avoid offending anyone? Oh hang on, some restaurants are doing that already, because of the virus.
Deleteraised with very strict table manners.
ReplyDeleteand not much talking. and you were expected to clean your plate. (meaning ate all that was on it.)
I often wonder what our dad would have thought about the modern world. he died so young. his militaristic way of seeing things is long gone. at least I imagine it is... maybe even in the military! the table manners have stuck in my life however. and my brother's too.
Tammy: Yes, people who died fifty years ago would be shocked at how casual people's behaviour is nowadays.
DeleteI too have far more problems with phone manners than table manners.
ReplyDeleteJoanne: I totally agree. Bumping into people in the street, having loud conversations a few feet away, ignoring whoever they're with, checking their phone every two minutes. Really annoying.
DeleteI got a chuckle out of a guy who participated in someone else's phone conversation in public. The talker said, "Excuse me, this is a private conversation." To which he replied, "Obviously not."
ReplyDeleteLinda: I like his style! How could the conversation possibly be private?
DeleteI'm another who can't remember what it's like to eat out, but I don't recall being offended by much - I'm usually focussed on not spilling anything down myself.
ReplyDeleteSx
Ms Scarlet: I don't tend to spill food on myself, but I do worry about knocking over a full wine glass - especially if the table is small and plates and glasses are very close together.
DeleteMy parents insisted on good table manners, no speaking with your mouthful, no elbows on the table, no burping, knife and fork neatly on plate when finished, wait until everyone has finished then ask to leave the table, and DEFINITELY no finger food. These things don't bother me in the least now. Like you my top intolerance is unruly children, followed by people using their phones, and a wobbly table.
ReplyDeletePolly: We kids also had to ask to leave the table. Oddly, I don't remember my father (always my father) ever saying no and causing an argument. Maybe it happened but it's slipped my mind.
DeleteFortunately phone use was never an issue until portable phone years as I, too, would be annoyed anywhere, not only in restaurants, by anyone who presumably was in my company but gave their attention elsewhere and to a phone.
ReplyDeleteChildren, if taught at home, reinforced in restaurants can learn to not be unruly -- but can be problematic for some with special needs.
I do find some decorum when eating much more pleasant. I like an unhurried meal with good conversation but circumstances were such we didn't have many of those kind of meals as wasn't my husband's style which was hurry-up and eat so can leave the table. I think this was a habit he developed from years of working a regular day, rushing dinner to go off on a gig with his music groups.
There can be situations where knowing manners can make the person feel more comfortable, so it is helpful if they've been learned or practiced a bit growing up. Then people have the choice of being slobs if they want to be or not as opposed to not knowing the difference. I think knowing the prevailing, often changing, rules for many things can be helpful which a person can observe or not.
I like finger foods and some other foods are more easily eaten using fingers so no big deal. Also, I do know from professionally needing to provide swallowing therapy to some people there are medical risks to taking too big bites, not chewing food well or clearing your mouth after each bite, eating fast, washing your food down with liquid, talking with food in your mouth, even not varying textures and consistencies of food for example.
Only instrumental music (no vocal recordings) should be played in restaurants, and not too loud.
Oops...if they've learned -- forget the "been". ha
ReplyDeleteJoared: I guess you're right that observing the customary table manners can make others more comfortable and make for a more enjoyable meal. Good point about choosing to be a slob or not.
DeleteSandwiches are also finger food of course. Just imagine if people ate sandwiches with a knife and fork!