Monday, 12 October 2020

Forbidden kisses

Once again Jenny and I have lucked out. While others are having to restrain themselves and keep their distance, we can have as much physical contact as we want because we're a long-established couple. We can hug, kiss, cuddle and fondle as much as we like at absolutely negligible risk.

Spare a thought for those blighted individuals who're trying to start a relationship and are constantly having to rein back their natural desire to be as physically close as possible.

They're supposed to keep two metres away from each other at all times and even a one-second kiss or a quick shoulder-squeeze is forbidden. They have to act like total strangers strictly on their best behaviour rather than passionate lovers who can't get enough of their bodies.

Sex itself would break all the rules so that's out of the question, unless you're prepared to take the risk, follow your impulses and jump into bed.

I must say if I couldn't have any physical contact with Jenny I'd feel incredibly frustrated. Physical affection is a big part of our relationship and having to give it up would be really hard.

I enjoy physical affection in general. It's a Northern Irish habit to hug and kiss a friend when you meet them and (normally) I do the same. I'll hug and kiss anyone, be they male, female, straight, gay, whatever. It's fun and it's friendly and it's pleasurable.

It's strange really, because physical affection was pretty rare when I was growing up. My father wasn't keen on it and my mother gave it up when she got the idea it might turn me homosexual. At my single-sex boarding school physical contact was strictly limited to rugby scrums and fooling about in the shower room. I guess once I left home my long-repressed impulses re-emerged.

And thankfully I never had to think twice before kissing my girlfriends.

23 comments:

  1. I have wondered if online dating has taken a nose dive since March. I wouldn’t want to meet up with a stranger right now, let alone kiss.

    I doubt it’s stopping college age kids or couples who’ve been together a short time,

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    1. Bijoux: I gather online dating has greatly decreased. Covid has really put the dampener on romance.

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  2. You are very fortunate Nick. I do hug and kiss Daughter, Niece and her family. But others I actually reject. The maskless wonder friends. I put my hand out and stay NO! very clearly. They are offended. And haha tell me I shouldn't live in fear. Well, they are living in disrespect as far as I am concerned.

    XO
    WWW

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    1. www: All this nonsense about "not living in fear". We're not living in fear, we're just taking sensible precautions to avoid catching a virus that could kill us or give us crippling after-effects for months.

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  3. Then there are the people who die alone because their loved ones can't be there to comfort them and show that they are loved. 🙁

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    1. Jean: Yes, that must be really distressing for all concerned. But I guess the only alternative is to risk being infected with a very nasty virus.

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  4. I'm just waiting for someone to say I'm being smug and self-righteous....

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  5. We too are from families which did not go in for shows of affection but if this health scare had occurred when we first met I would have defied the rules in order to meet up.
    Amor vincit omnia!

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    1. Fly: That would have been very bold of you to break the rules. But I daresay I would have done the same when I met Jenny. Amor vincit omnia indeed!

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    1. John: You can give me a big warm kiss any time you like.

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  7. I don't recall receiving a lot of physical expressions of affection beyond mostly some hugs, a few busses, growing up -- certainly not from an absent father, or any other male. But there definitely was a feeling of love, caring, protection from my mother, and that of a much older brother's teasing attention.

    I confess to missing the warmth of touch and affection as a widow after 43 wedded years and now in these viral times. One of the few country music tunes with an orchestral accompaniment that touches my soul is Charlie Rich singing "Every Time You Touch Me".

    We were a very affectionate huggy family with my children growing up which has carried over into their adulthood. Those occasions when we did see each other were always loving times with hugs and kisses. Their geographic distance from me since they left home, and now with this virus hampering travel, has truly left an emotional vacuum but such is life.

    One thing I noticed in my work through the years was how much a simple reassuring hand-pat touch, or slight shoulder squeeze when appropriate to select patients, especially older ones, seemed to be mood-lifting and welcomed by them.

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    1. Joared: I think research has shown that physical affection is good for your physical and mental health, as well as being enjoyable and companionable.

      Not having that touch and affection after 43 years must be hard. Jenny and I have been together for almost 40 years now, so eventually one of us is going to be in the same boat.

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  8. But Nick either one of you could have picked up the virus on your travels so are you really any safer with Jenny than with anyone else?

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    1. Kylie: That's very true, but I guess the risk is tiny, and neither of us would want to give up physical contact for as long as it takes to control the virus. We haven't caught it yet although it's been around for some ten months, so I guess to some extent we have a false sense of safety.

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    2. Not suggesting you should give up contact, just wondering if you're actually safer with each other. Hypothetically.

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    3. Kylie: Well, I guess we're safer with each other than if we go out and mingle with lots of other people. But yes, one of us might unknowingly have been infected.

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  9. I'm a very affectionate person with Ken but with other people not so much. I'll hug family but not friends unless I've known them for a long time.

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    1. Mary: In Northern Ireland people hug the friends they made yesterday!

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