I've never:
- worn boxer shorts (they're uncomfortable)
- had jet lag (I adjust quickly to different time zones)
- heckled anyone (it's pointless)
- lost my voice (I never talk for long enough)
- gone bald (shortage of testosterone?)
- had children (never had the urge)
- had a nickname (can't explain that one)
- broken a bone (I've just been lucky)
- had a good sense of smell (roses? what roses?)
- tried cocaine (not keen on drugs)
- had cosmetic surgery (I'm just fine as I am, thanks)
- been religious (it never made any sense to me)
- voted Tory (I've always been a socialist)
- had a tattoo (I don't need to decorate my body)
- been to a (commercial) football match (no interest in football)
- dreamed of being naked in a public place (or meeting the Queen)
- been arrested (not the best way of protesting)
- eaten oysters or caviar (they look disgusting)
- forged someone's signature (never needed to)
- read Ulysses or War and Peace (I don't have the stamina)
I've never forged a signature, but I've committed most petty crimes like speeding and litter-dropping and driving under the influence (well, it was 51 years ago). And of course others I'd better not publicly admit to. I've never murdered anyone, though one or two people seemed to have been actively inviting it.
Oh, and I've never chased after a wild boar that stole my laptop. While stark naked.
Boxers are "uncomfortable"? I am not a guy. What do I know. I was under the impression that as they don't cradle your tackle tightly. fence it in, they are extra comfortable.
ReplyDeleteNever had "jet lag"? Poor you. Try flying West to East. Hong Kong will do you. For several days.
You don't need to talk much to "lose your voice". Laryngitis will suffice to render you speechless for a week or so.
Bald? Lack of testosterone? I was under the impression that men with a lot of hair are the most virile. Remember what happened to Samson when Delilah let sheers be taken to his locks?
As to the rest of your list - can't make head though many a tale of it. You mentioning "forging a signature" makes me think you may have been tempted.
Bravo for you not having murdered someone. I believe it difficult to take someone's life. Despite what films depict. However, there are people, not accountable for their actions, known to me, who managed to murder themselves. Suicide by another name.
U
Ursula: Never you mind what happens to my tackle.
DeleteHmm, after some google research, I gather there's no clear-cut link between testosterone levels and hair loss. I stand corrected.
I've flown West to East numerous times, without getting jet lag. All I get is tiredness from long flights without much sleep.
On one point I would most heartily disagree: protesting and being arrested got women the vote. Nelson Mandela.
ReplyDeleteI do believe you live in some kind of bubble. Nick. That is not a criticism. I kind of envy it. The untouched observer, congratulating himself on no tattoos. Talk to people with tattoos. The need, the glory.
XO
WWW
www: I do indeed live in a bubble, very cut off from the "real world". And glad to do so, the real world is pretty horrific.
DeleteYes, I'll concede that mass arrests can sometimes achieve your goal when other forms of protest have failed.
I’m thinking the majority of people haven’t done many of the things on your list? Maybe I’m wrong. I haven’t done12 of them,
ReplyDeleteBijoux: That might well be the case! Certainly the vast majority of people haven't had cosmetic surgery or taken cocaine.
DeleteI haven't done most of the things on that list and am quite happy about my life.
ReplyDeleteJean: Well, nothing on that list is essential to a good life - except maybe a good sense of smell.
DeleteWhen I stopped eating dairy I finally developed a sense of smell. And taste. Then I went back to eating dairy. Oh, well. You don't miss what you never really had. Not smelling food does make texture more important, though.
ReplyDeleteLinda: I still eat a bit of dairy (mainly cheese). Perhaps I should try giving up cheese for a week or two and see what happens....
DeleteI've ticked 13 of your list ..yikes x
ReplyDeleteJohn: I'm trying to work out which seven don't apply to you. I guess you've got a good sense of smell, you've been to a football match and you wear boxer shorts.
DeleteSomething I have never done, but came very close to recently...taking up with one person who comments on my blog about their choice of words and another to enquire why they use a passive/aggressive turn of phrase.
ReplyDeleteBut the game is not worth the candle, and if not totally fed up with all the cod nonsense citrculating about the corona virus and the difficulties of organising life under the restrictions I would probably have been amused by them, as usual.
Fly: Luckily most of my blogmates are very civilised and don't cause me any headaches.
DeleteThe virus has prompted so many self-righteous clashes about face masks and personal safety. All very tedious.
I've never heckled anyone, either. It's demeaning. To both parties.
ReplyDeleteJoanne: Agreed. It's just pointless attention-seeking.
DeleteLOL! Hi Nick! saw you on Rummy's blog.
ReplyDeletelike meeting a dear friend on the street unexpectedly.
I think I must live in a bubble too.
the more I see of everything the more I'm content to simply be an interested observer!
actually quite a happy observer. I don't even worry about 'keeping up' with all the crazy news anymore. it's TOO crazy. I think you and Jenny have it pretty well figured out. and I admire anyone who can blog as long as you have and still be INTERESTING! kudos dear buddy! XOXO
Hi Tammy! I was missing your wonderful observations and remarks! Yes, I'm also a happy observer. I leave others to do all the protesting and agitating nowadays. I've done my fair share. Thank you for suggesting we have it all figured out - I guess we do, most of the time. We've been round the block a few times, as they say. Thirteen years of blogging - how did I manage that?
DeleteOh, I used to forge my mum's signature to skip school, or games lessons.
ReplyDeleteMost of us first committed a crime when we recorded the top 20 from the radio - this always made me feel guilty, but I did it every week.
I have had Laryngitis!
BUT, I have never bought a sofa.
Sx
Ms Scarlet: I wish I'd had the initiative to forge a few parental notes to skip the things I hated! It was a crime to record the top 20? Was that from the pirate ship Radio Caroline? Those were the days!
DeleteI have done everything on the list except having a tattoo, dreaming of being naked and forge someone's signature. One observation, we do not have Tories but, I have always voted our Right Wing party and in fact am a registered member of one.
ReplyDeleteRamana: Well, I'm impressed - you have had a rich and varied life! I'm intrigued that you've had cosmetic surgery....
DeleteNot on my face though Nick. It is to smoothen the forefinger of my right hand that got caught in a door and got mangled. I was unable to use it till the surgery. This was when I still had to use a pen to sign and write notes!
DeleteRamana: Wow, that's an unusual type of surgery. Glad it worked for you.
DeleteI've never had cometic surgery but if I succeed in getting down to my goal weight (I'm half way there) I may have surgery to remove excess skin since I won't need enough to wrap around two people any more.
ReplyDeleteLinda: The excess-skin problem is very common, or so I've heard. Good luck with reaching your goal weight.
DeleteI've never done drugs, gotten a tattoo, been arrested, had cosmetic surgery or gone skinny dipping. I have done some questionable things in my youth though.
ReplyDeleteMary: Ha, haven't we all done questionable things in our youth? I well remember driving my girlfriend of the time home while extremely drunk. I was very lucky we both got home safely.
DeleteWell, lets see, I've eaten oysters, had a good sense of smell, had a nickname, had children and lost my voice. None of those caused any of the others to occur as it sounds like when i read what i wrote. I’ve never been nude in public or much less chased a boar or a bore, even when i was clothed. Does that mean I've missed out on a lot of fun in life?
DeleteJoared: I suspect you've had plenty of fun in your life, even if you've never had caviar or read Ulysses or snorted cocaine.
DeleteOops, I did have caviar and think it's highly over-rate. Haven't had truffles.
DeleteJoared: Glad you think caviar is over-rated. Looks like I'm not missing anything then!
DeleteI haven't done 11 things on your list. Living in a bubble is quite an attractive option at the moment, I am so fed up with non-stop talk about covid.
ReplyDeletePolly: I live in a bubble all the time, just me and Jenny, the neighbours and a few local shops. So covid talk is strictly limited.
DeleteI have forged signatures. When I was in work. It was easier to do it than wait. And obviously only if I knew the person whose signature I was forging would have signed the document anyway.
ReplyDeleteLiz: That sounds very sensible and practical to me. Why wait days for someone to get round to scribbling their signature?
DeleteHow do you know boxers are uncomfortable if you've never worn them? Also, oysters and caviar may look disgusting, but both are delicious. I've done a fair amount of things on your list (including having been bald!) and share some of the nevers (cocaine and tattoos, for instance).
ReplyDelete