Tuesday, 4 December 2018

More undesirables

I once listed ten things that seemed totally pointless, things that should never have existed and did little or nothing for anyone's quality of life. I thought I would add another ten items to the list:

1) Group photos. Of politicians, school pupils, employees etc. Either grinning inanely or looking sullen and awkward. Who needs them?
2) Posed selfies. Taken after an hour of primping and preening to achieve a phoney visual perfection that fools nobody.
3) Vegan cheese. Which despite the hype are nothing like traditional cheese. Peculiar flavours that are virtually inedible.
4) Crisps. A nice taste and a satisfying crunchy noise, but that's it. Thin slivers of a single large potato with zero nutritional value.
5) High heels. Serve no purpose except to pander to male fetishism. If they make you look "professional", why aren't men wearing them?
6) Push-up bras. More male fetishism. Even more uncomfortable and annoying than the regular ones.
7) Trigger warnings. Trying to anticipate every possible upsetting trigger in the universe is absurd. Why not just deal with what's upsetting you?
8) Bottled water. No better than tap water, and only adds to the mountain of plastic waste that's polluting the planet.
9) National anthems. Inane ditties that only encourage jingoism and nationalism. "God save the Queen" indeed.
10) Stretch limos. A bogus air of luxury travel for your special occasion, blocking the traffic wherever they go.

So now you're sure to tell me you love nothing better than prancing around in high heels and a push-up bra, scoffing vegan cheese and Pringles, while posing for a selfie and singing the national anthem. How very perverse of you.

If you're interested, the original list can be read here.

21 comments:

Helen Devries said...

Piercings...and that includes ears.
On my mind at the moment as a neighbour's baby girl has had her ears pierced which strikes me as assault.
So why would you do it willingly?

nick said...

Helen: I agree, who needs piercings - or tattoos? I don't see that it does any harm though. It's much more harmful to sexualise a young child.

Bijoux said...

Group photos don't bother me and the ones I most enjoy are of people who aren't normally seen together, such as a photo of all our past presidents together. I find national anthems to be unifying. Those who promote nationalism didn't learn it from a song. Just sayin!

nick said...

Bijoux: True, of course nationalism doesn't come from the national anthem, it's linked to all sorts of things. But the Union Jack has been taken over by so many repulsive right-wing groups I don't want anything to do with it.

tammy j said...

LOLOL!!! oh Nick. why don't you tell us how you REALLY feel!
actually I agree with you on virtually everything except the crisps. which we call chips I guess. I love them! I like the crunchiness and the salt of course.
and all the flavors! oh my. BBQ is great. also sour cream and chives. and I love Dorito chips! so... well... I guess of all you mentioned one odd one out.
not bad odds! oh. and Fritos! oh man... they are so good under a steaming helping of kickin' hot chili! with real shredded cheese on top. seriously delicious. xo

CheerfulMonk said...

I love some of the group photos I have been in. Thanks for reminding me of them -- they bring back memories and warm my heart.

nick said...

Tammy: I admit to happily chomping crisps if they're offered, but if they disappeared tomorrow I wouldn't miss them. But I do like crunchy foods, like Bombay Mix and granola.

Jenny also loves kickin' hot chili, but I prefer something milder.

nick said...

Jean: I threw away all the group photos from my school days. I didn't want any reminders of a miserable period in my life. But I don't mind those media photos of up-and-coming artists, writers etc. They're usually a bit more spontaneous than the rest.

chloe said...

This list may be ok for you, but not for others. Just let people live and do what they want.
I do not know what school life and youth you had , I'm still young and I love all the group photos with my school friends who are now spread over the world. You seem to hide away all your former life, you must have your reasons. Already your post about parents and children was quite strange for me.

Eryl said...

I've been wondering about trigger warnings for some time, and it looks to me that the point of them is to keep people victims, rather than helping them transcend their victimhood.

I used to love wearing high heels, five foot seven feels so much more powerful than five foot three. I rarely wear them these days, too uncomfortable for my aging knees, but if I know I could have a fight on my hands I still drag out my glossy black Prada sling-backs.

What is vegan cheese made of?

Group photos are cool – not the ones of politicians posing in food banks while their limo waits round the corner, granted.

nick said...

Chloe: My list wasn't intended to apply to anyone else, it's just my personal list. Of course other people may love all the things I don't love. That's what makes life interesting.

Do I hide all my former life? Not that I'm aware of. I've mentioned my dysfunctional childhood ad nauseam. Not much to say about the middle of my life except various jobs and being with Jenny.

I guess if you come from a close-knit, loving family my odd family must be a bit strange to you. I only wish it had been a bit more normal!

nick said...

Eryl: Exactly, trigger warnings just perpetuate a sense of victimhood. Are people really so brittle and fragile?

Funny, I'm six foot but I still don't feel very powerful!

Vegan cheese is made of various things, such as soy protein, vegetable oil (like coconut, palm, or safflower), yeast, agar flakes, nuts (including cashews, macadamias, and almonds), tapioca flour, and natural enzymes.

I guess group photos are okay if it's a bunch of people you really got on with and you like to be reminded of them.

Tanza Erlambang - Every Day Issues said...

I don't like "Group photos. Of politicians"

Have a great day

Wisewebwoman said...

I try not to get irritated by others' interests or tastes.

I fail at times.

The bottled water (and here in NL we have the most natural water available anywhere) bottled water is a huge seller) but I try not to condemn those who do. Many are just ignorant and don't want to hear about the environmental effects.

But I do wish the artificial social construct of gender was abolished. Now that drives me crazy, particularly in my family.

XO
WWW

nick said...

Tanza: I'm not sure if you like or dislike group photos.

www: I don't usually get irritated by other people's tastes. Puzzled or amused or horrified perhaps.

As you say, many people just tune out the environmental effects of bottled water - as they do with all the other things that are polluting the planet. They either think the experts have got it wrong, or it's just too alarming to dwell on.

Secret Agent Woman said...

Well, good grief. Except for bottled water (which is helping to destroy our planet) most of those things seem like none of my business. I no longer wear high heels, but I did when I was younger so I try not to judge. And I kind of like old school group photos.

nick said...

Agent: I think people are misunderstanding me. I'm not judging anyone's behaviour. If someone wants to wear high heels or recline in a stretch limo, good luck to them, that's their choice. I'm just saying that I think the world could survive very well without such things.

Joared said...

We all have our preferences and our dislikes many of which might not be others choices so you’re surely entitled to yours. I’ve always thought high heels for women were so counter to good foot health I’ve always wondered why women en masse haven’t rejected them. My early career positions before my health care profession in medical settings were such that I wore high heels — unofficially expected attire.
Body mutilation, including tattooes, I can do without, though midlife I did get my ears pierced (once in lobes) but can do without any in other ear areas or body parts or wearing rings of any weight, size that could distort ear lobe shape. I can do without lots of facial makeup — better keep to a minimum, maybe highlight eyes, eyebrow — feature enhancement for nighttime wear under artificial lighting. Also can do without nail polish, artificial nails, hair dye.

nick said...

Joared: I also wonder why women haven't rejected high heels, at least in the workplace where they're often compulsory for no good reason and just mean day-long discomfort.

I quite like small, discreet tattoos - like a tiny bird on someone's neck. Huge tattoos covering large areas of the body strike me as unattractive.

Polly said...

I love crisps, Pringles are my favourites, I used to like wearing high heels, I wore them to please me, I felt sexy wearing them, and I am a royalist so I like our national anthem.

nick said...

Polly: Jenny loves Pringles too! I'm not a royalist, but I do admire the Queen's down-to-earth approach to her duties. Michelle Obama relates how the Queen told her that royal protocol was a lot of nonsense and just to sit down anywhere she wanted.