Monday, 5 August 2013

Not for me, thanks

Things I don't do:

1) Wear red trousers
2) Wear lacy knickers
3) Eat meat
4) Chew gum
5) Drink Coca-Cola
6) Own a pet
7) Sleep with a teddy bear
8) Buy porn mags
9) Ring the Samaritans
10) Cry my eyes out
11) Giggle uncontrollably
12) Blush
13) Go to the gym
14) Ride a bike
15) Look for trouble
16) Look for excuses
17) Recite poetry
18) Read the Bible
19) Sunbathe
20) Keep a diary
21) Jump for joy
22) Jump queues
23) Bite my nails
24) Dye my hair
25) Go clubbing
26) Collect shells
27) Talk in my sleep
28) Sing in the bath
29) Shoplift
30) Hug trees

28 comments:

Suburbia said...

Now I really do think you should consider shell collection Nick!

John Gray said...

I do
3
6
9 ( I am in training to be one)
10
11
12
14
23
How interesting I am

Nick said...

Suburbia: Apart from my lack of any visible enthusiasm for shells, they would be yet another dreadful dust trap....

John: Number six many times over! Ten, eleven and twelve? Ooh, you big girl's blouse, you.

Unknown said...

I do 2 (of course!), 10, 11 (well, not so much giggle as straight out laughing), 12, 13 (have in the past, currently more running/walking), 14, 15 (in spite of myself), 19 (if covering myself in sunblock and only going out in the low sun hours when I'm at the beach counts), 20 (my blog), 21, 24, 26, 27, 28 (shower), 30. I don't know about 9 because I don't even know what that means.

You're missing out!

Secret Agent Woman said...

Oops, that was me!

And what the hell is a big girl's blouse?

Nick said...

Agent: I am missing out, aren't I? I must make a few changes.... Ah, the Samaritans is a helpline for people who're feeling emotionally distraught or suicidal. And a big girl's blouse means an effeminate man. John of course is gay....

Grannymar said...

Now tell us what you do do!

Z said...

Swap 2 for 9 and I could be John G. Though I also keep an appointments diary and my blog is a daily journal (that's probably tautology), so I could add 20 too.

bonsaimum said...

I do 3,6,14,21 and 30

Nick said...

Grannymar: Oh, I've been telling you that for well over six years!

Z: Lacy knickers are popular, I see. Biting one's nails is common too!

Bonsaimum: So tree-hugging has its devotees as well!

Z said...

Only in times of stress - fortunately, August is a quiet month at the Zeddary.

Nick said...

Z: Glad to hear that!

Rosemarie Blackthorn said...

Ah...I think I do quite a lot on your list.

We can still be friends, can't we? Even if I wear lacy knickers, occasionally chew gum and sing in the bath?

Nick said...

Rosemarie: He he! Oh yes, just because I don't do these things doesn't mean nobody else is allowed to! I'd love to hear you singing in the bath....

Ursula said...

Not talk in your sleep, Nick? How do you know?

U

Nick said...

Ursula: I think Jenny would have told me by now....

I do talk in my dreams of course. But I don't think that counts, because nobody else can hear it.

Ursula said...

"Jenny would have told me by now" - But would she? It's extraordinary what people do reveal in their sleep. I once, sharing a bed with my sister, myself pinned down by her cat on my front, heard her play out a conflict with someone; a conflict I had previously not known about. Interesting. Very.

My son talks in his sleep. He, the most laid back person I know, is in knots over potential embarrassment when sharing a room with friends. Told him not to worry: At their age they sleep through thunder and lightning.

I on the other hand, causing me great amusement, will wake myself with my own voice, holding conversations with people in my dreams - aloud. I tell you, Nick: The path to madness is steep. Let's hope I'll never see the zenith.

U

Nick said...

Ursula: Well, I haven't had any experiences like that. Jenny certainly doesn't talk in her sleep. My sister I wouldn't know about! What wakes me from a dream I don't know, but it's not talking to myself. More like the dream is just getting too anxiety-ridden to cope with!

Rummuser said...

What a pity!

Nick said...

Ramana: Eh? What's a pity? My dreams getting too anxiety-ridden? Your lack of lacy knickers? The continuing turmoil in the Middle East?

Wisewebwoman said...

We've got nothing in common. But if you wear my *clean* lacy knickers, we will have.

XO
WWW

Nick said...

www: Goodness, what an invitation! Well, why not? I look forward to some clean lacy knickers in next week's mail....

Liz said...

You don't collect shells?! Ah, maybe you are a long way from the beach. There can be no other reason.

No, wait, you're a man. Husband doesn't collect shells either.

So much pleasure you are missing out on judging by that list!

Nick said...

Liz: There are beaches a few miles away on Belfast Lough, but I've never felt the urge to collect shells. Is that a man thing or just a lack of interest?

I may be missing some fun from those 30 items, but the list of things I do do and get pleasure out of would be a great deal longer!

Anonymous said...

Now my comment disappeared. 21 is my favorite.

Cheerful Monk

Nick said...

Jean: Really? Do you jump for joy a lot then? You must have a very exhilarating life!

All three comments went into my spam folder because they were anonymous, but I picked them up on email.

Jenny Woolf said...

Going to the gym and singing in the bath are rather pleasant habits to acquire, though :)

Nick said...

Jenny: I think about going to the gym occasionally, but as the nearest one is quite some distance away, thinking is as far as I get. I shower rather than bathe, but I might try singing in the shower....