I don't have that many friends, which seems like a major failing when most people seem to have dozens and dozens. I'd like to have a few more. On the other hand, I'm such a scatterbrain that if I did have so many friends my life would be total chaos.I'd be in the wrong place at the wrong time on the wrong day, probably with the wrong person. If I remembered I was meant to be meeting someone. And if I could remember who I was meeting. Was it Sophie or Maxine?
Having finally met up with Sophie, I would then only be half-listening because I would be thinking of another friend I was due to be meeting. Was she the one who was pregnant, had broken up with her boyfriend and bought a ruinously expensive flat or had I mixed her up with Lotte again?
Then Sophie would be asking me what I would do if I were in her place and because I'd only been half-listening I would be totally in the dark so I'd have to confess I was miles away and ask her to run through the problem again. And try to pay closer attention this time as she scowled venomously at me.
Meanwhile Maxine, who I'd accidentally double-booked and had been waiting for me in Caffé Nero for the last 57 minutes, would be trying to ring me but I hardly ever use my mobile phone so she'd be getting no reply and cursing me so viciously a waiter would be discreetly asking her to keep her voice down as she was disturbing the other customers.
Then I'd remember I promised Lotte (or was it Polly) that I'd help her look for a new car as her old one had died on the M1. So I'd ring her up and she'd say she wasn't going out today as her hair looked like a gorse bush but did I think she was mad to spend £150 on a new Fossil handbag and I'd say I can't talk now because I'm with Sophie and I'll ring her back and she gives a long-suffering sigh and I feel guilty but I ring off anyway and find a furious text from Maxine.
And the rest of the day just gets worse.
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Blogging is a bit erratic at the moment as Jenny and I are going to Liverpool for a few days with our friend Kath from Melbourne. You'll just have to be patient....
i can tell this is a dream cos all your friends are women
ReplyDeleteTsk. Kylie beat me to THE comment.
ReplyDeleteSx
P.S Gilbert, Malcolm and Reg are going to be upset that they didn't feature in your thoughts.
So long as you don't arrange to meet them all in the one place at the same time. Now that might take some explaining!
ReplyDeleteLet us exchange places Nick.
ReplyDeleteKylie and Scarlet - My (on and off) friends do tend to be women. I haven't had any proper male friends for...ooh...decades. I have little in common with other men, they're a mystery to me. Gilbert, Malcolm and Reg will have to befriend each other over a game of snooker. Or footie. Or one of those things they curiously enjoy.
ReplyDeleteGrannymar - I'd probably do exactly that. I have a memory like a sieve. Which is why I need lots of lists.
Ramana - Exchange places? You mean you want to be as scatty as I am? Or you just want to be friends with Sophie, Maxine, Lotte and Polly (I think I've got their names right)?
ReplyDeleteYou definitely should arrange to meet everybody together- more civilised and then they can all listen to each other while you drift off into deep thoughts. And they get to talk about you. Perfect. you're such a good friend :)
ReplyDeleteSpeccy - Oh no, if they were all together, their conversation would be so fascinating I would be extremely attentive. No deep thoughts whatever. In any case, I need peace and solitude for deep thoughts.
ReplyDeletepeople seem to have very different ideas of what counts as a 'friend'. Modern tachnologies (facebook) have diversified the concepts further, though within a cohort/generation there seem to be some consistencies. I have a different number of friends depending on how I define friendship. How I define friendship depends on who I'm talking to. Generally I don't talk to anyone. I like curmodgeonly, I can;t spell ti.
ReplyDeletePS any moment now I'll disappear up my own arse (uk)/Butt (USA). Am holding my breath.
ReplyDeleteI've got quite a few acquaintances but I prefer just a handful of friends. (Though I think I could be friends with wendy house )
ReplyDeleteAll my friends are in my computer. Makes life easy
ReplyDeleteI have different layers of friendship, Nick. I tend to just trust women with my deepest darkest secrets.
ReplyDeleteI don't get them mixed up as I keep a comprehensive daytimer and make serious time for the ones I feel closest to.
Not much time for fluffy socializing as I fail the the tests.
XO
WWW
Wendy - True, it depends how you define friend. Anything from someone you bump into every few months to someone you contact every day to someone you confide your deepest agonies to. I like talking to people, but most of them turn out to be very boring very quickly.
ReplyDeleteNo, you won't disappear up your own arse. Or if you do, I'll yank you out again. Nothing wrong with being curmudgeonly occasionally.
Myra - A handful of friends is quite enough to cope with. Maybe Wendy could be friends with you too.
ReplyDeleteBaino - Now there's an honest person! Most of my friends are in my computer too, though I have met some of them in the flesh. Like you and Gaye. Anyway, I know you've got a few non-computer friends as well - like Clare and Adam and your female pals.
www - Don't blame you keeping your darkest secrets for women. Men can be so untrustworthy. You seem to have some very close and very supportive women friends, you would be okay in a serious crisis.
ReplyDeleteI use my mobile phone as my diary to remind me of appointments/meetings I'm likely to forget. It works.
ReplyDeleteAs for having too many friends...I know who my core of friends are, they are in the heart of my Life, everyone else kind of circle like moons around Jupiter.
I find Facebook to be a wonderful medium for this especially.
Roses - Yes, I notice your constant stream of Facebook updates, though I don't often respond! Have to admit Facebook is a good way of keeping up with people, despite all the trivia.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I'm an obsessive Facebooker. But then I have family abroad and I find I'm also keeping in touch with other bloggers from around the world as well.
ReplyDeleteRoses - Skype is good too! We have regular chats with our good friend in Melbourne.
ReplyDeleteI downloaded Skype but have never used it--keep forgetting to get headphones. Blogging has given me contact with people from all over.
ReplyDeletee - Skype is brilliant. It makes such a difference to see someone's face and expressions while you're talking.
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine anyone could have so many friends they couldn't keep track of them. But I'm more of the handful super close friends and a wider circle of good friends.
ReplyDeleteSecret Agent - Ha, you don't know how scatty I am! Well, okay, I'm exaggerating a little bit. I'd certainly like to have a handful of super-close friends....
ReplyDeleteNurseMyra - after reading some of your blog I suspect we'd have quite a few larks together if we met... ..thanks for the friend compliment
ReplyDeleteI see my best friend about once very 2 years, she lives in Cairo. We don't phone. We've been best friends since we were 4 years old. Closeness isn't defined for me by proximity or frequent chats, which is lucky given my lifestyle...
Wendy - That's true, you can feel really close to someone you hardly ever see. And when you do see them, you're gabbling away as if no time has elapsed at all.
ReplyDeleteHope you have a great few days :-)
ReplyDeleteWhat Kylie said!
ReplyDeleteBut more importantly - what's with all the wide mouthed cups these days. What happened to big steaming mugs of tea?
Are you on holiday? Have a fab time!
ReplyDeleteSx
Suburbia - Thanks! We had a fantastic time. Liverpool is really humming and full of interesting things to see and do. Strongly recommended if you want a little city break!
ReplyDeleteBlackwater - I'm just as bemused. Small cups are much easier to drink from. It's all part of this crazy trend to supersize everything.
Scarlet - Yes, a wee holiday. Liverpool was fabulous. We visited the site of the original Cavern Club, where the Beatles appeared 292 times!