Tuesday, 7 July 2009

Out to lunch

All those beleaguered companies out there are relying on their clear thinking and business acumen to get them through the recession, right? Er, not always - some of them are turning to psychics, mediums and astrologers.

They're so unsure of their own judgment, they're resorting to the supernatural to show them the way forward. Trade is booming for those who predict the future and what life has in store for you.

People like Russell Grant and the British Astrological and Psychic Society say consultations by business types like bankers and lawyers have jumped by up to 30 per cent since the recession started.

They want to know whether to make a major change to their business, whether a key decision is the right one, or even whether to sack their staff.

As one of the psychics says, instead of paying consultants £20,000 a month for often dubious advice, why not pay a lot less for a psychic who might actually be more help?

Well, it's certainly cheaper, but to imagine a psychic's advice is more reliable than your own conclusions is bizarre. Of course it must be nerve-racking trying to make vital business decisions in the midst of economic chaos, but to believe some smooth-talking soothsayer can magically point you in the right direction is bonkers.

I'd like to know how many of the psychics' clients have actually made the right decisions and kept their businesses afloat, and how many haven't. I suspect it would be roughly 50/50, much the same as if the psychics' special powers had never been called on.

And if all these hundreds of psychics were apparently unable to predict the recession in the first place, can we really have much faith that they can miraculously foresee what's coming next?

20 comments:

Baino said...

You're right in your last paragraph, if they're any good why didn't they see it coming! Silliness all round. (Although I do read my horoscope every day just for shits and giggles).I hope I wasn't laid off on a psychic's say-so! Fwoaar! Mind you government leaders have been using them for years! Oh hai . .that explains everything!

Nick said...

Baino - Hey yes, maybe some psychic said "I sense an unproductive member of staff, let me see now, B something?" Now there's a job opportunity for you -become a psychic.

Wisewebwoman said...

I don't know what your problem is Nick.
It worked really bloody well for Ronnie Reagan and his coup d'etat.
XO
WWW

Suburbia said...

Spooky!!

Nick said...

www - That's true. Perhaps we could also use psychics to predict the ideal time for a socialist revolution?

Suburbia - Spooky indeed. I'm just imagining a boardroom full of executives all busily peering into their crystal balls.

Thriftcriminal said...

More like scratching their....

Anyway, lets face it, clients of these 'psychic' types actually do their job for them, I mean all they have to do is make some vague assertions and the punter goes off working very hard on trying to connect those mumbles to the random events that happen thereafter. People want to make the connections and they will, because it's the story we all kind of believe in, nobody really believes in a completely random world, it goes against our nature, so we'll make any shit up to fit the story.

Nick said...

Thrifty - I'm sure that's often the case, the customer helpfully fills in the blanks invitingly left by the psychic. Though some people still swear blind they're told all sorts of personal details the psychic couldn't possibly have guessed at.

rummuser said...

This had to be said. This is the most ridiculous thing going around and in India, it is not funny.

Leah said...

Incredible that companies use psychics. Yet, oddly, I'm not surprised. I have a very good friend who is, as they say, unlucky in love, and she visits a psychic and spends a great deal of money on it. While I am ridiculified by it, I have held my tongue...I'm a good friend, aren't I?

Nick said...

Leah - It's tricky if you have a friend who believes. I think I would also keep quiet, unless the psychic was obviously giving very bad advice and making harmful suggestions.

Nick said...

Ramana - I gather it's very common in India to consult psychics on every conceivable subject. It suggests an amazing lack of self-confidence and independent judgment.

GayƩ Terzioglu said...

I was just having a session with my psychic advisor/mentor and she told me not to leave a comment here, or I would have bad luck for the next 25 years.
So I decided, I am going to test it...

Gx

Nick said...

GayƩ - What? Comments bring bad luck? That's funny, my personal psychic consultant told me comments are emotionally liberating and I should leave as many as possible.

conortje said...

I predicted that you would write this post - and I was write :-)

Nick said...

Conor - Oh, could you just tell me what my next post is about, as I need to write it soon?

Liz said...

Are they really doing that?!

Nick said...

Liz - They certainly are. They must be absolutely desperate to hold on to their wealth, their mansions and their yachts.

Baino said...

Bugga .. do you mean they meant to retrench Belinda?

Brighid said...

This explains the large cash stimulas package that the local fortune teller gets. It is said her opening words at each session with big business are ooohhhbbbaammma.

Nick said...

Baino - Ah yes, why didn't Belinda get the push as well?

Brighid - That should get her clients in a receptive mood - provided they're Democrats of course.