Why all the euphemisms? There are at least two dozen. What's wrong with the word dead? Dying is a fact of life, as it were, and doesn't need to be downplayed as if it's something shameful or disgusting.
I hope when I die, people will say I'm dead and not gone to my maker or bitten the dust or given up the ghost.
People are equally coy about the cause of death. Quite often no cause of death is given and it's anyone's guess what the person died of.
I can sort of understand why people don't name the cause of death as suicide or an overdose or anorexia, to avoid being blamed for not helping to keep the person alive, but again there's nothing shameful or disgusting about such disturbing causes of death, and with the best will in the world it's hard to stop someone being self-destructive.
Yes, sooner or later I'm going to kick the bucket and be pushing up the daisies. I might even die.
I don't really think it's my business how someone dies unless it's a family member and I should know for genetic reasons. We have euphemisms for many things in life, so I'm not bothered if someone wants to use a different term for death.
ReplyDeleteBijoux: Well, no, it's not my business, but that applies to lots of things we come across. I just think there's no need to hide the cause of death.
DeleteA lot of people are scared of facing death I think and they say these other things instead dead so it doesn't sound so harsh.
ReplyDeleteMary: Lots of things in life are harsh, but it doesn't stop us being frank about them.
DeleteThere are so many terms for dying as you stated, Nick. Although it's far less often than before, whenever I have a newspaper to read, no matter where I happen to be, I always read the obituaries of people I have never known or met. Quite often, these last statements of a person's life are quite interesting and at the very least it has introduced me to someone. There are a few phrases that have always seemed overdone, especially he/she died peacefully vs. the alternative of making a lot of noise?
ReplyDeleteThere are some famous quotes about dying and one of my favorites is Oscar Wilde's reputed last words from his sickbed in a Paris hotel: "Either that wallpaper goes, or I do."
Beatrice: Reading obituaries used to be quite common among my parents' generation, but less so now it seems. I think "she died peacefully" is often a lie concealing a rather ghastly death. I didn't know the Wilde quote, I love it.
DeleteI am always fascinated about cause of death but realistically, its not my business so I would never ask.
ReplyDeleteI use the words dead or die and follow a number of social media pages about death. My death literacy allowed me to recognise my dad's terminal agitation and advocate for him.
Working in aged care, I am amused when people squirm about waiting lists. Some people are hyper aware that in order to get a room, they are waiting for someone to die and get very self conscious about it.
Kylie: No, cause of death isn't anyone else's business, but it's an interesting fact just like any other news item. My mum didn't need to squirm about waiting lists, as luck would have it a care home place came up very quickly.
DeleteNick,
ReplyDeletethe way we speak about death is for me more a cultural problem..What people say doesn't really matter. Would you ask parents who lost a child, if the child was sick, had an accident or took drugs , committed suicide or was a victim of mobbing or abuse. I respect the way and the words they chose.
Hannah
Hannah: No, I wouldn't delve into a child's death, that would be intrusive, but if the parents want to reveal the cause of death, why not?
DeleteI agree with you, but if a euphemism were to be used for me I'd like it to be bit the dust!
ReplyDeleteSandra: With my weird sense of humour, I wouldn't mind if people said I'd kicked the bucket.
DeleteI recently told an anesthesiologist as I was refusing CPR if my heart stopped during surgery, that I'm not suicidal but if it is my time to go I am OK with that.
ReplyDeleteLinda
Linda: That's what I would say too. I don't want to be kept alive for years and years of increasing decrepitude.
DeleteTimes keep changing. When I was little, relatives were told a patient was terminal before the patient was told.
ReplyDeleteI'm still chuckling over the US policeman ticketing someone for "wearing an obscene T-shirt." It read, "Fuck off and die." The judge let him off, ruling that death was no longer an obscenity in our society.
Sean: What a sensible judge. I can think of many genuinely offensive t shirt slogans that everyone studiously ignores!
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