Well, I'm one of those emotionally cautious types, trying not to express my feelings publicly unless they're positive and helpful rather than damaging.
Many emotions are harmful (jealousy, contempt, hatred, resentment, to name a few), yet people casually fling them around as if they're harmless.
One result is the ferocious hatred directed at celebrities on social media, and the bitter conflicts over things like transgender, immigration and diversity.
It's a cliché that therapists tend to ask "how do you feel about that?", as if feelings are the key to very problem. But that isn't the case. Often it's the way you look at a situation that's the key and not feelings.
Expressing your jealousy or resentment that someone else is doing better than you are at something won't help the situation, but working out why that person is doing better and following their example would be a lot more productive.
I missed out on the jealousy gene altogether and I've never felt jealous about anyone. It makes more sense to focus on my own life and how it's going.
There are plenty of emotions swilling about inside me, I just prefer to express them prudently rather than freely.
I will express my opinion in conversation but not just as something I feel I have the right to do at any time. I'm more dry than emotive so sometimes things slip through the cracks.
ReplyDeleteSandra: Indeed, sometimes things slip through the cracks!
DeleteIf I need to call someone out for their bigotry, I certainly will. They cannot walk away without the audience knowing there is another opinion on the subject.
ReplyDeleteJoanne: I must say I tend to just retreat from someone's objectionable views. I find they're very unlikely to change their cherished opinion.
DeleteSame here, Nick. I don't think my oratory skills are up to changing anyone's opinion.
DeleteI hope I would step up if someone was bullying someone in real life though.
Sx
Ms Scarlet: Ditto, I hope I would step in if someone was being bullied or attacked. But I would hesitate to argue with some big burly male.
DeleteI seem to cry really easily these days! I try to blame the wind if I'm outside. I'm always blabbing - I guess there's a lot to club about, but it's not helpful!
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Ms Scarlet: I almost never cry. I guess crying was drummed out of me as a child as un-masculine. I did cry at my mum's funeral though.
Delete•blub, not club! Grrr, spellcheck combined with poor eyesight!
ReplyDeleteSx
Well emote means something about setting in motion so yes, the way we think about a problem is important but the way we think is determined by the way we feel.
ReplyDeleteI agree that the world feels very dark right now and crying is probably the very most reasonable response.
As for me, every thought and emotion is on my face so I just have to live with that
Kylie: I don't think the way I think is determined by how I feel. But maybe I'm fooling myself.
DeleteI'm not an overly emotional person so I am able to keep my emotions to myself when I'm out and about for he most part.
ReplyDeleteMary: You're very lucky. I imagine it's quite exhausting expressing one's emotions non-stop.
DeleteIt's important to remember that the psychoanalytic pneumatic notions of libido, as well as catharsis as a "relief" for resentments, is a thoroughly discredited cult. Brooding on, or acting out, resentments is a form of rehearsal learning, that does nothing but entrench them.
ReplyDeleteRick: Yes, I've thought for a while that acting out your negative feelings must surely tend to entrench them rather than purge them.
DeleteKeeping a decent reserve strikes me as a good option. I don't want to intrude on the lives of others and would prefer not to be intruded upon in my turn.
ReplyDeleteFly: Indeed, too much emotion can be a kind of unwanted intrusion on other people.
DeleteI keep my thoughts to myself, and speak to someone I trust if need be.
ReplyDeletewww.rsrue.blogspot.com
Anon: That sounds like a good policy.
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