I'm glad I never had to consider living with my parents. When I was a young adult there were still plenty of affordable rentals and I could live on my own quite easily. I did so for 6½ years, and most of the people I knew were equally self-reliant.
I couldn't possibly have moved in with my parents, they had very different personalities and opinions, and we'd have fallen out rapidly. As it was, I was estranged from my father for many years so living with him was never a realistic option anyway.
Apart from anything else, if I'd been under my parents' roof, I'd have had a very restrained existence. I couldn't stay out late and get back in the small hours as it would have woken them up. I couldn't get drunk as they didn't approve of alcoholic excess. I couldn't have had friends round as they were somewhat anti-social. It would never have worked.
Some parents are happy to have their children living with them again. They don't like being "empty-nesters" and can't adjust to a half-empty house. Other parents are glad to have the house to themselves and only reluctantly allow their children to return. My parents would definitely have been the latter.
Hotel Mum and Dad has never been more popular.
Nick, parents will , under normal conditions , be parents all their life and will help if there is a problem. My family lived always with "open doors" and Saïd and I love to have family and people in general around. Your family seems to have been very special , I'm sorry for you, mum and dad's home ( which was yours too) in the best case should be the place where children can come back. 40% of the students in Germany are considered to be poor, need to go to the food bank and have no money to rent a room, so it's better to stay home .
ReplyDeleteHannah
Hannah: I guess I had especially incompatible parents. As you say, our parents' home should always be a welcoming refuge. Forty per cent of students are deemed poor, that's shocking, but I guess it would be much the same for British students.
DeleteI couldn't afford to leave the parental home until I was 25. With hindsight I wish I'd stayed with them longer and saved more money - but, young head, young needs!!
ReplyDeleteSx
Ms Scarlet: I think most children are desperate to leave their parents' home and have a bit of independence.
DeleteI was desperate to leave and gain my freedom. I found a room to rent in a house with 6 others when I turned 21 and ate peanut butter on crackers for a year.
ReplyDeleteBijoux: Peanut butter on crackers is probably quite nourishing! Personally I don't think I could have lived with six other people.
DeleteI got married to get out of my parents home. Culturally "girls" were to be kept at home until marriage. My escape marriage ended 3 years later. I couldn't have made it on my own with a toddler now, life was much more affordable 50 years ago. My son has lived away from home since college.Long ago.
ReplyDeleteSandra: Indeed, life was much more affordable 50 years ago and renting was relatively cheap. Rental fees now are extortionate. There used to be a large number of low-rent council homes but many of them were sold off and have never been replaced.
DeleteDespite the buildings societies looking at any woman wanting a mortgage as if she were about to produce endless sprogs, houses could be afforded...and thanks to the inflationary seventies the mortgage could be paid off early!
ReplyDeleteFly: True. We paid off our current mortgage when we moved from London to Belfast. Property here is much cheaper so we only needed a tiny mortgage for our present house.
DeleteI was able to move out by having a roommate to share the rent. Our daughter moved out then came back just for one summer so she could save up to buy a car. I don't have grandkids so I don't know what kids that age are doing now. Our great nieces and nephews are doing fine but they are at the parenting toddler stages now rather then the just left home stage.
ReplyDeleteLinda
Linda: I think a lot of youngsters are managing the rent by flat sharing. I shared a flat for about a month but there were so many problems with the other sharers I was forced to move out.
DeleteThat's why my daughter lives with me. Prices are crazy right now.
ReplyDeleteMary: Property prices seem to be reaching absurd heights right across the world.
DeleteI left home and never looked back. My daughter tells her children they can live at home as long as necessary. It's a different financial world now.
ReplyDeleteJoanne: It's a different financial world all right. And property prices are still going up.
DeleteHi Nick
ReplyDeleteYou say that you wouldn't be able to go out late, go clubbing, go to bars etc.
But the truth is that young people don't go out much now. Clubs are either closing shop or so expensive just to get in. Bars are also pricey.
I have a feeling a lot of guys esp. and young people generally would be on their computers.
Liam: I expect you're right about young people being busy on their computers rather than out drinking or clubbing. Certainly a lot cheaper.
DeleteI did live at home until my mid 30s before making the decision to move into my own apt. While the rent was cheaper at my parent’s home, the added freedom was a bonus and within a few years, I met and married my later ex-husband.
ReplyDeleteBeatrice: However liberal your parents may be, if you're living with them there's still a sense of having to behave yourself and not be too outlandish.
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