Edinburgh

All can now be revealed. I'm not on my death bed, I'm not in prison, I haven't been scammed for thousands of pounds. Jenny and I have just had a few days in Edinburgh.

We went to various museums and galleries, we went to Belfast Zoo, we went to Leith, which is the latest trendy Edinburgh district, and we met up with our old friend Sheila. Sheila was one of my oldest blog mates until she gave up blogging but turned into a long-term friend.

We stayed at the Premier Inn, which we've stayed at several times, but this time the standard had slipped a bit. The shower temperature was either very hot or stone cold, the fridge door was hanging off its hinges, and the windows hadn't been cleaned for a long while, which rather spoiled our view of Edinburgh Castle. But the hotel was warm and clean, the staff were friendly, and we had some great cooked breakfasts.

My favourite animals at the zoo were the meerkats. I love the way they stand on their back legs with their front legs drooping, watching what's going on. I also love the lemurs, which I'm told are the most endangered species on the planet - 95 per cent of lemur species are at risk of extinction.

Some facts about Edinburgh:

• The city is built on an extinct volcano
• It has more trees per head of population than any other UK city
• It has more listed buildings than anywhere in the world
• Grassmarket has a history of executions. Thieves, murderers and political outcasts were regularly hanged in the 18th and 19th centuries
• A unicorn is the national animal of Scotland

All in all, it was a bonnie wee holiday.

Intermission

There will now be a short intermission

I leave you with a selfie - in Brighton, May 2024

Just marvelling

Things (and people) I marvel at:

• Aeroplanes. How do these massive things manage to stay in the air?
• The internet. All 1613 of my posts are stored in some data centre somewhere. Not to mention endless information available at the click of a mouse. And dozens of other uses.
• Squirrels. They're considered to be among the most intelligent animals in the world. Known for their quickness, intellect, memory, and ability to plan ahead.
• Smart phones. Revolutionised communication. A mobile phone, camera and computer in one device.
• Cutting edge surgery and medical treatment. Previously incurable conditions can now be beaten.
• Love. What is it that makes us fall in love - possibly for an entire lifetime?
• The human brain. For its imagination, its ability to think and reason, its grasp of complexities, and its sudden surprising insights.
• Rock stars who're still alive despite the drugs, the booze, the junk food, the late nights. Mick Jagger is now 81.
• The pianist Yuja Wang. Her astonishing dexterity.
• The mass murmurations of starlings. How come they never collide with each other?
• Chinese trains that can travel at up to 286 mph.
• Polyglots. Like Ziad Fazah from Lebanon, who claims he can read and speak 58 languages including Arabic, Polish, Thai, Urdu, Norwegian, and many more. What's his secret?

There are probably many more things I marvel at, but they don't come to mind right now. I might add a few items as I think of them. We all need to marvel more and scoff less.

A right royal hoo-ha

Well, that's quite enough earnest introspection. And now for something completely different.

No sooner was a new statue of the late Queen and Prince Philip unveiled at Antrim Castle in County Antrim than it was widely ridiculed, a common opinion being that the female figure looked nothing like the Queen, and that Prince Philip didn't look much like Prince Philip.

One critic even suggested that the late monarch looked more like Mrs Doubtfire. And Philip looks more like a movie villain about to roast some useless underling.

Antrim and Newtownabbey Borough Council commissioned the local artist Anto Brennan to create the sculpture and claimed to be delighted, saying it captured the Queen "in a dignified pose, reflecting her grace, steadfastness and life-long devotion to public service."

But Vera McWilliam, an Antrim and Newtownabbey councillor, thought the critics had a point. "We have to be honest, it does not resemble the queen in any shape or form."

Other statues that have been roundly derided tend to be discreetly removed. I await with interest whether this statue meets the same fate.

Another statue of Philip dressed as a don, erected in Cambridge at an estimated cost of £150,000, was also derided and removed. Presumably a similar sum was spent on the controversial statue of the two Royals.

Anto Brennan hasn't made any public comment on his statue as yet.

Pic: The contentious statue

Inhibitions

Funny things, inhibitions. You can be totally inhibited about one thing but not at all inhibited about something else.

Things I'm not inhibited about:

• Revealing my naked body. I don't care how "imperfect" it may be, it is what it is. I attended two all-male schools where we revealed our bodies all the time.
• Physical contact with other people. I love hugging and kissing, though other men still find kissing and hugging men rather weird.
• Terms of endearment. Jenny and I use them all the time, even really silly ones.
• Complaining. I'll always complain if necessary. Why should I accept a product or service that's not as it should be?
• Saying no. Meaning the chancers on the doorstep promoting some service or other. No, I don't need a tree surgeon. No, I don't want to worship the Lord.
• Admitting my mistakes. I'm not one to hide my mistakes or make out they're someone else's fault. We all screw up now and then.

Things I'm inhibited about:

• Talking to people who seem much more intelligent. Will they find my remarks stupid or ignorant?
• Talking about sex. I regard sex as something private, something that only concerns sexual partners.
• Talking to complete strangers. What should I say to them, what should I talk about? I'm always at a loss for words.
• Talking to people who're well-read. People who make endless references to famous books I've never read and expect me to be familiar with them.

But I'm not inhibited about revealing my inhibitions.

Why so abusive?

Why are people so abusive nowadays? Why can't they just deal with an annoying situation calmly, without vilifying someone?

Two customers at our local Caffè Nero this morning were angry that they were having to wait a few minutes for service, mainly because a computer problem meant cards or phone payments couldn't be processed and it was cash only.

The angry customers didn't have any cash and cursed the staff for the inconvenience, although the problem wasn't due to the staff who were coping as best they could and probably feeling just as frustrated as the customers.

People take out their discontent on innocent shop staff, when nine times out of ten a problem has nothing to do with staff but is down to a computer failure or incompetent managers or poor training.

No wonder there's such a constant change of staff at Caffè Nero if that's the way they're treated by a significant number of customers. Why put up with a daily stream of abuse if you can find a job where you're appreciated rather than sworn at?

Jenny and I never ever abuse shop staff (or staff anywhere), even if they're making a real mess of something. We know the pressure they may be under and we're more likely to be friendly and patient and helpful than nasty and arrogant.

And what does that abuse achieve apart from venting your emotions? If the problem isn't caused by the staff, probably nothing except a horrible atmosphere.