Tuesday 23 November 2021

Gender dissenters

I hate gender roles. They put so many arbitrary limits on what you can and can't do. Women should be this and this. Men should be this and this. And if you do something that doesn't fit your allotted gender role, you can get a very frosty reception.

Which is why I really admire those people who deliberately flout their designated role and are prepared to put up with all the negative responses, however upsetting and infuriating.

Like the artist Grayson Perry, who revels in his alter ego Claire, with her flamboyant dresses and bizarre hairdos. Of course he can get away with it because he's a phenomenally successful artist, but even so.

Like Samira Ahmed, who took the BBC to an employment tribunal in a dispute over equal pay, and won.

Like the Pakistani girl Malala Yousafzai, who from the age of 11 campaigned for the right of girls to go to school.

Like Sally Ride, who in 1983 became the first American woman in space when she rode the space shuttle Challenger.

Like women who sport cropped hair, a suit and tie, and chunky footwear. They know the ignorant will assume they're lesbian or "wasting their femininity" but that doesn't put them off.

Like all the women who're determined to pursue careers traditionally reserved for men, and all the men who're happy to be house-husbands.

But these unabashed gender benders are still thin on the ground. The reality is that gender roles are very strictly enforced and you need a thick skin and a lot of bravery to ignore them.

It would be fun if I could wear a dress occasionally, but I don't think east Belfast is quite ready for such wayward behaviour. I'll have to leave it to the celebs and the unrepentant social mavericks.

27 comments:

  1. Nick,
    I live in suburban Sydney, many kilometres from the LGBTQI friendly inner city areas but even out here in the 'burbs I see men (or people who I would identify as men) in dresses.
    One of them is most notable not for the dress but for the unwashed, putrid state of the thing. (I suspect the wearer is quite unwell either mentally or physically)

    Wear a dress if you want, just wash it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Kylie: Sydney must be more enlightened than the UK. I don't see any men in dresses either in my immediate neighbourhood or in the city centre. As for the man in the putrid dress, I also suspect some mental disorder.

      Delete
  2. The concept of gender seems to be evolving a bit, opening up to allow people the freedom to be themselves.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Colette: It's evolving a little bit, but there's still a very long way to go.

      Delete
  3. I see enormous regression in the artificial social construct of "gender". Where the word woman is considered inappropriate as it is not "inclusive" enough so our erasure is worsening.

    Why is everyone now afraid to use the word "sex"?

    Wear what you want. Anywhere you want. But please don't stereotype women as this vacant blonde busty "sexy" with batting eyelashes and lah dee dah gushy come-ons. It's deeply offensive and belittles all our battles for equality. No, it's not harmless fun.

    XO
    WWW.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. www: Indeed, why the aversion to the word sex? Sex is our biological category, gender is the social expectations loaded onto sex. The two are being endlessly confused by people who should know better.

      The busty blonde stereotype seems to be getting more popular rather than less. Especially among female singers.

      Delete
  4. None of my business how people see and express themselves as long as they don't impinge on my freedom to do likewise.
    So I do not want to see men identifying as women taking up roles as womens' officer in student unions, running rape help centres, or occupying beds in womens' hospital wards. These things impinge on my right to represent female students from a background of shared experience, a rape victim's right to protection from men and womens' need to have respect and privacy when unwell - and usually somewhat undressed.
    Some elements of thetransgender lobby make me think that they are yet another aspect of the patriarchy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fly: I totally agree with you about men identifying as women and insisting they're entitled to use women's facilities. I'm baffled as to why so many supposedly intelligent people are playing along with this delusory nonsense.

      Delete
    2. Well said, Fly. I totally agree with you. Men identifying as women in female prisons are raping female inmates. It is shattering.

      XO
      WWW

      Delete
  5. As long as a person isn't trying to change my mind or infringe upon my own rights, I don't care what they do or wear.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mary: If only other people felt the same and weren't so censorious!

      Delete
  6. Dave's sister was in a building where a transvestite group was meeting. She said she didn't care if they used the women's restroom but they should at least point their feet the right way.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Linda: Brilliant! Yes, if only men could use a toilet without spraying pee everywhere. It's really not that difficult.

      Delete
  7. It’s interesting that you lumped careers with clothing. I don’t see the two as associated. Regardless, I think like everything, people tend to take it to the extreme and become offended if a woman wants to wear makeup or heels or give a girl a doll for Christmas. It’s okay to like gender typical things, too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bijoux: Well, careers and clothing are both subject to sex-based expectations. And yes, if a woman wants to wear make-up or give a girl a doll, why not? More to the point, what if a man wants to wear make-up and play with dolls?

      Delete
  8. I think i am getting quirkier with clothes as I get older. I shop from the teenage range as the sizes fit my frame better - I'm probably age inappropriate, but don't really care - at least I don't have to turn up my jeans!
    Sx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ms Scarlet: You're lucky that as a woman you can wear just about anything you fancy. Men's clothing is strictly limited!

      Delete
  9. In the 1970s a friend mentioned she was trying to bring up her twins as gender neutral. But, when she mentioned that her daughter plays with trucks and her son plays with dolls I didn't hear that as neutral. And her son was listening so I'm sure he heard that as not so neutral, either.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Linda: It's very hard to be gender neutral, when all around you everyone's stressing gender roles.

      Delete
  10. Oh go on Nick, wear the dress :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Polly: I think Jenny for one would be very embarrassed if I did.

      Delete
    2. I wonder if Philippa is ever embarrased by Grayson.

      Delete
    3. Polly: I doubt it. Firstly because she's a therapist and secondly because his antics are very bankable.

      Delete
  11. I wouldn't like to wear a sari but, what I wear normally, a lungi, for Westerners is just like a maxi skirt!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Ramana: Indeed, and it looks very comfortable. More comfortable than a suit and tie.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Well you've sure pinpointed one of my complaints, too. It's ridiculous there are so many does and donts placed on each of us for which we are chastised if we violate them when it comes to gender. As for clothing, I've always thought comfort -- especially in shoes for women -- should be the name of the game. While I wore my share of high heels, including spike heels, they defy what's best for the foot. I don't wear them now.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Joared: I'm baffled as to why high heels are so popular when they're obviously painful and bad for your physical health. It's absurd that they're seen as sexy. I always notice the irony that men design them but never wear the things.

      Delete