I've always been an introvert. I'm very content being on my own, though I do also like a certain amount of social contact (just a bit), to prevent too much self-absorption and to be inspired by other people's ideas and attitudes.
I'm also a gregarious person, meaning I enjoy mingling with crowds of people because it feels safe and cosy. I like watching and listening to them. But I don't want to talk to all these people (how on earth could I?), I just like them being around.
Because I like my own company, I'm not good at making friends. The need isn't urgent enough to trigger the necessary socialising and making connections. So I have loads of online and offline acquaintances but no close friends apart from Jenny.
I'm not a misanthrope. I don't detest other people. I don't prefer animals to humans (yet). I don't have some sort of perpetual grudge against humankind. I'm interested in other people and their foibles and hang-ups and idiosyncracies. I'm just not curious enough (nosy enough?) to actively befriend them.
So am I a healthy or unhealthy introvert? Do I spend too much time on my own? Am I too self-absorbed? Am I too detached from other people? Do I have reclusive tendencies? What's the yardstick exactly?
I would define an unhealthy introvert as someone who hardly ever leaves the house, who basically dislikes other people, who maybe is afraid of them and thinks they're up to no good, who shuns their friendly or solicitous gestures.
Hopefully I'm a long way from such a desperate lifestyle.
I am an ambivert! That is, a person who has a balance of extrovert and introvert features in his personality.
ReplyDeleteRamana: I'm definitely tilted in the introvert direction!
DeleteI like Ramana’s answer!
ReplyDeleteBijoux: Does that mean you would also describe yourself as an ambivert?
DeleteKaren and I are much the same—introvert with lots of online acquaintances. It made getting through COVID much easier for us than it might have been. We’re past the worst, vaccinated, and traveling in Colorado.
ReplyDeleteMike: Like you, I had little trouble adapting to the covid restrictions. But the very outgoing types must have been miserable.
DeleteAs you know I am a gregarious loner and I don't spend any time really in wondering why that is. We are who we are and if you care content with that, as I am, why think about it?
ReplyDeleteXO
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www: I was thinking of you when I mentioned being gregarious! But likewise, I don't spend much time fretting about the way I am.
DeleteThis is an interesting topic. I look forward to reading all the responses.
ReplyDeleteIn my estimation, you are a healthy introvert or at least I hope so. In that, I am very similar to you in outlook. Except, I have many dogs and cats. My dogs are working dogs as well as my sweet buddies. They are quite entertaining and a real break sometimes from the less palatable parts of life.
My big struggle with caregiving is that I need that alone time.
Ann: Having dogs and cats must be more than enough company. Especially dogs which pay their owner so much attention.
Deletethe older I get the happier I get. the more content.
ReplyDeletethe more I am accepting myself each day for how I feel That day! some days I feel more outgoing than others. but I have always been an introvert. long before they threw those words around. I discovered Henry David Thorough when I was barely 16. it HELPED to know there was someone (many actually but I didn't know it) who felt the same way I DID! it was sort of a great revelation for me. and like you...
I dearly LOVE having friends I truly Care about on the internet! :D
LOLOL! I see that I thoroughly misspelled Thorou. and that doesn't even look right either.
Deletegreat Scot. EAU.
Deletewell. I'll quietly withdraw now. like any good introvert would.
Tammy: I've never read Thoreau so can't comment on him! I think I've always pretty much accepted myself as I am. I don't waste much time fretting over my oddities!
DeleteI'm an ambivert but also spend most of my time alone. Interacting with friends online seems to be enough to keep the extrovert in me happy.
ReplyDeleteJean: It seems that a lot of people are quite happy with all their online friends and see no need to have a lot of physical friends as well.
DeleteI'm definitely an introvert and don't like hanging around people all that much but there are people around my complex that I am friendly enough with and will talk to them when I see them. I have lots of friends online and will happily talk with them but I would be happy to stay home all the time. it's a good thing I have a dog that makes me go outside.
ReplyDeleteMary: I wouldn't want to stay home all the time. As I say, I'm gregarious and I like to chat to other people now and again.
DeleteI don't think I've ever been an introvert. I don't like people as in crowds, they get in the way. I like being with friends and people I know and I enjoy the clubs I belong to. I'm also happy with my own company.
ReplyDeletePolly: That's unusual. Most of my online pals seem to be introverts to some degree. I do think it's probably better to be an extrovert, but if that's not in your nature, so be it.
DeleteYears later, I still miss working...I enjoyed it, liked most of those with whom I worked but had enough space to see them sparingly.
ReplyDeleteAs Leo has become more frail..and the blasted bug has hit our social life .....I am more and more about the house rather than out and about, but online friends keep me alert.
Fly: I don't miss working at all, I love being able to follow my own impulses without someone else setting the agenda.
DeleteThat was the pleasure of my job...no one else setting the agenda.
DeleteI rarely leave the house but I think most people are good and I am active in online communities. I also have very good online friends who care about me and I care about them. I just don't do face to face a lot anymore.
ReplyDeleteLinda: I'm much the same, I guess. I have long-standing Facebook friends and blog friends and some physical friends and that's really all I need.
DeleteThis past two years has kept me from the friends I kept. That has not been good. I cannot see a change to the old ways returning, and wonder what I might do about that.
ReplyDeleteJoanne: That's a frustrating situation. And yes, the ongoing virus restrictions don't help.
DeleteI consider myself an introvert and always have. My wife and I are each other's own best friends, but know when we need distance. I've never been a "people" person, though I do what I have to for work and if we're out and about. I enjoy people-watching, but try to avoid crowds.
ReplyDeletePressfortime: I've never been a people person, more an occasional-chat person. I had to chat with people a lot when I was working, but usually not for very long.
DeleteI enjoy mingling with crowds of people because it feels safe and cosy.
ReplyDeleteDid you write this pre-covid?!!!!
Sx
Ms Scarlet: When I say mingling, I just mean there are lots of people around me. I don't usually speak to them. And of course I keep my distance from them.
DeleteWhen we used to go places like amusement parks my job was to sit on a bench and hold everyone else's gear. People watching at its best!
ReplyDeleteLinda: People watching is fun. And if I'm lucky, I'll catch a juicy bit of conversation!
DeleteMy husband tells everyone that he is "a reclusive hermit" since he grew up as an only child. That said, whenever there is a discussion, he is the one who is the most talkative. Yet, when we are at home together we can be in the same apt and yet pursuing our own interests for hours without any conversation. We both like people...usually in small doses.
ReplyDeleteBeatrice: I'm certainly not a reclusive hermit but I keep my social contacts to a minimum. Like you, Jenny and I can go for hours without speaking to each other, so engrossed are we in our personal pursuits.
DeleteI think I'm probably a combination of intro/extro, often depending on a variety of factors as to which part of me prevails. Mood can dictate that behavior as may be influenced by life factors and the people around me. I find a variety of aloneness and togetherness most agreeable usually.
ReplyDeleteJoared: How you behave can definitely be affected by the circumstances. If I'm having a really interesting conversation with someone, I can open up and become quite loquacious.
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