Tuesday 25 June 2019

Honeymoon period

It's intriguing that honeymoons are now considered an essential follow-up to marriage, though they only became commonplace at the end of the nineteenth century. And that despite initial disapproval from doctors who thought they were bad for women's health!

Not many couples forgo a honeymoon, and when they do it's usually for a good reason - one of them is starting at college or starting a new job, they're short of cash, they're moving house, they're running a business, they've already cohabited for several years, or the bride-to-be is about to give birth!

Jenny and I didn't have a honeymoon as such, partly because we had cohabited for fourteen years, partly because we didn't see the point, and partly because we married mainly for financial reasons - Jenny's local government pension could only be passed on to a spouse. But we did go on holiday after the (register office) wedding. Nowhere very exotic or romantic, just a tour of northern England including Stoke on Trent potteries, Whitby, Scarborough, and to see friends in Chester and York.

We could have gone somewhere more spectacular, but we were counting the pennies a little because we had a huge mortgage to pay for.

It didn't cost very much because we travelled around by car and stayed in very unassuming hotels and guest houses. We kept expecting to feel subtly different now we were married, but of course we didn't - we were the same as before, but with an official document to wave about.

I imagine many couples don't actually do very much on their honeymoons. Organising an elaborate wedding is so stressful probably all they want to do is lie on a beach for two weeks and get their sanity back.

As long as they take care what they eat and drink. Honeymoon food poisoning is remarkably common.

23 comments:

  1. You sure are a bundle of fun. Even Eeyore, not exactly hedonistic, is more life enhancing.

    Honeymoons are great. For many many reasons.

    U

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  2. Yay, Nick! We got married right after Andy got his Ph.D. and just before we left for a year in France where he worked as a post-doc. They were starting their own particle accelerator and needed his expertise. We had a simple wedding because we were a lot more interested in our marriage and new life than we were about a fancy ceremony. It was an exciting time.

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  3. We got married in the summer and didn't want to go somewhere hot, so we flew to Toronto and had a grand time. Museums, good food, and shows. It was fairly inexpensive at the time as we wouldn't have been able to afford too many extras.

    I've only heard of honeymoon food poisoning from drinking the water in Mexico or Central America destinations.

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  4. Jean: A year in France sounds good. And yes, we weren't interested in a fancy ceremony either. The solemn commitment to each other was good enough for us.

    Bijoux: Toronto, huh? As modest a vacation as the one we took. Jenny's cousins live in Toronto so I've been there and you're right, there are plenty of museums and other attractions and good food. As you say the food poisoning risk is probably confined to certain places.

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  5. I never had one......
    Mind you my marriage only lasted 3 years
    Go figure

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  6. Dave was in the army and we were broke. So we spent one night in a nice hotel then a couple days in my apartment then moved ourselves from Minnesota to Alabama where Dave continued his training. Which parts of that would you call a honeymoon?

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  7. I was in the Navy attending a school in Illinois near Chicago. Just after we were married, we got on a bus and (went to Houston to visit my family and (2) Arkansas to visit her family. From there, I caught a bus to Vallejo, California for my next school. Several weeks later, Karen flew out after I already had an apartment. After that 6 month school, our little family of 3 drove to the next school -- in Idaho. Then after another 6 months we headed to Connecticut where the submarine I was going to was home-ported.

    No honeymoon, but plenty of traveling, along with a lot of sightseeing at all the new duty stations.

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  8. John: A great shame about your divorce. But who knows what the future might hold in store?

    Linda: Not so much a honeymoon, more a mini-break!

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  9. Mike: As you say, no honeymoon but plenty of travelling. I assume the lack of a proper honeymoon didn't affect your married life!

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  10. I had a week in Cornwall, and enjoyed the drizzle!
    Sx

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  11. We could not afford to go anywhere on a honeymoon and so spent my vacation time in my in-law's home before moving on to rejoin my employment. Our marriage worked out just fine.

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  12. We went to Edinburgh, my very first flight ever. When I worked in Ireland I had free travel all over Europe but only ferries and trains. The flight was delayed in Dublin and I remember we played battleship like two little kids at the airport.

    My new husband bought me a gorgeous white fur coat (fake) on Princes Street. We had no money at all so stayed at this tiny b&b and I sang in some of the pubs at night and we toured a bit of the highlands, tho that I can't remember very well.

    Thanks for the memory Nick.

    XO
    WWW

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  13. Ms Scarlet: How very romantic!

    Ramana: So clearly the absence of a honeymoon was of no great consequence....

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  14. www: Glad I brought back some poignant memories. I love Edinburgh, it would be a great place to have a honeymoon. Good that you were able to see some of the Highlands as well.

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  15. Apparently a lot of young people today go into debt for their weddings and honeymoons -- that doesn't sound like a great start to me. Enjoying the simple things in life is more our style, and it really pays off years later when retirement comes and money worries don't get in the way.

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  16. Jean: Many young people already have huge debts from tuition fees and general college expenses, so to add even more debt to that seems crazy. I agree, keep things simple and cheap and you don't have huge debts hanging over you for umpteen years.

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  17. It seems to be part of a ritual now...a jolly expensive ritual at that, with parties before the wedding, the wedding, a reception and then the honeymoon.
    Being two curmodgeons we couldn't see any point in any of that.

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  18. Helen: Indeed, if you add in the stag and hen parties (often somewhere abroad), the cost really mounts up. Glad to say I've never been to a stag party, they sound like hell on earth.

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  19. We didn't have a honeymoon. We were pretty broke at the time, so it just didn't work out. We took the week off of work, but we stayed at home, and just went on a few picnics and hikes locally.

    It seems strange to me that people think they need all the pre-parties, an extravagant wedding, and then the vacation of a lifetime for a honeymoon.

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  20. Danielle: I know, why is a marriage seen as incomplete without all these elaborate and expensive rituals? Especially if you can only do it by running up huge debts you then spend months or years repaying.

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  21. Nick, no, the lack of a honeymoon didn't have any affect on our married life. When I was in the Navy, we were often out exploring at each duty station, a pastime that continues to this day, though not as often, but sometimes for much longer periods -- we were gone from home nearly 3 months total in 2018... together.

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  22. Mike: That sounds good. Exploring new places is always fun. And clearly your marriage has stood the test of time!

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  23. We had a fairly simple wedding, in part so that we could devote our resources to a honeymoon. We spent a week in Italy (and a bit in Switzerland) and had an amazing time. I don't think we could have asked for a more relaxing and romantic getaway. I'm really glad we started our marriage that way even if we had been cohabiting prior to that.

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