Friday, 9 February 2018

Thoroughly endearing

Okay, that's enough of the introspective burblings. Yes, I'm full of neuroses but I have plenty of normal, healthy traits as well. In fact I have some highly laudable ones. I uncovered an old blog post in which I listed all my charming and endearing qualities. I think it's about time I dusted them off and gave them another airing:

1) I don't harbour malicious thoughts about friends, loved ones or workmates.
2) I don't hurl anonymous abuse on Twitter.
3) I'm not interested in porn.
4) I'm not misogynistic or homophobic.
5) I'm deeply disturbed by all the poverty, violence, misery and oppression in the world.
6) I've never had an extra-marital affair.
7) I like fluffy kittens and cupcakes.
8) I mind my own business and try not to judge other people's lives.
9) I don't gossip, and I'm good at keeping secrets.
10) I don't annoy the neighbours with loud music or all-night parties.
11) I deplore machismo, male posturing and the rape culture.
12) I've never been to a prostitute.
13) I do my share of the housework.
14) I'm a good listener.
15) I don't hide my emotions.
16) I'm not easily offended.
17) I'm not the jealous type.
18) I like teddy bears and ice cream.
19) I'm not an angry or bad-tempered person.
20) I do all my own laundry.
21) I take off my high heels on delicate parquet flooring.

The first person to accuse me of being smug and boastful will get a clip round the ear.

30 comments:

helen devries said...

Gven the last item you would have been welcome aboard my boat - when I had one - anytime...

nick said...

Helen: I don't let fashion and vanity ruin other people's precious flooring.

CheerfulMonk said...

Yay, teddy bears! I have more than one. :)

And yay, Nick for the last sentence!

Bijoux said...

I like daschunds and doughnuts.

nick said...

Jean: I'm a very thoughtful guest.

Bijoux: Can't say I'm keen on either. Dog-wise I prefer Airedale terriers. Doughnuts I find rather sweet and sickly.

Ursula said...

Don't worry, I am as good as my word. I won't come back. I'd just like to tidy a few loose ends.

You are one swell guy.

In first place of your list: "I don't harbour malicious thoughts about friends, ...". If you don't then why even mention the possibility?

In ninth place: "I don't gossip".

Both of the above, no doubt, after chiming in with Tammy and my bidding good bye to you, why on a third party's and pretty hostile towards me thread, you made your own little contribution of: "In a fit of pique, Ursula is now boycotting my blog. Which means a welcome respite from all the sanctimonious and pedantic outpourings" and variants thereof left afterwards. Nice to see you and Ms Misery (remember her charming line of telling you to "fuck off") are united once more. You certainly know who your real friends are.

"Sanctimonious and pedantic outpourings." Never let it be said that I don't value feedback.

Years of a blogging friendship, seemingly meaning nothing to you, you just throw to the wind. Oh, no, let's wait: You never considered me a friend. So, by your own credo above, you are absolved.

U

Polly said...

I love the fluffy kittens and cupcakes, teddy bears and ice cream and the last one, you’re a real gent.

John Gray said...

I want a photo of your high heels

nick said...

I see Ursula has already broken her very recent pledge to abandon me.

nick said...

Polly: "A gentleman of the old school" perhaps?

John: Damn, my camera seems to be broken.

Ursula said...

Is that all you take away from my comment? That I have already broken my pledge to abandon you? "Abandon"? You are not a child. I haven't broken anything, Nick. Do reread my first line, the first three sentences, particularly the bit about "tidying loose ends". Still, whatever strokes your vanity. Mustn't be left out of the loop with certain other parties dragging my name, irrationally, through the mud, must we?

If you don't want to hear from me again then please stop making vindictive allegations about me on other people's blogs.

Till that stops you will hear from me. Not necessarily here, but on my blog. And take a leaf out of my blog post "Crash landing" which I have temporarily taken down because it needs amending. There are plenty more words where those come from. Trust me, you won't be spared either. Then, tell me that I take you "too seriously". If you think I am taking allegations, smearing my name outside any discussion of an actual subject, lying down think again.

John has the good grace to see the wider picture, employ some fairness, some justice. You? You are just like those bullies you so lament, the overlooked little boy now running with the unthinking herds of the Toms and Rachels of this world trying to win their favour. You may have been bullied, Nick; I never have, I never will. You know what you are in danger of doing? Supporting the theory that those who were bullied themselves becoming bullies. Think about it.

You didn't even acknowledge what I said about years of what I thought of as our friendship, spikes and all, discarded by you on a whim. Well, (sarcasm alert) you sure live up to the reputation you are so desperately trying to convince your readers of, namely that of being a "sensitive" guy.

U

nick said...

Ursula: Anything I say will be used against me, as always.

Secret Agent Woman said...

Wowza. I often come here only to be utterly bemused by the comment drama. I have never had that on mine. Thankfully. Then again, I see a blog as a sangha of sorts, and make a point of cultivating a group of like-minded and/or supportive people around me.

Anyway, to the post itself: #18 - I like nature and sushi. :-) I think I have a standard number of good points along with a list of flaws. I try to do my best to keep growing, most of the time, and don't waste much energy on regrets or beating myself up.

nick said...

Agent: Most of my blogmates, like yours, are like-minded people. But there's always the odd trouble maker.

I also like nature, but not sushi as I'm vegetarian. And I never regret anything. As far as I'm concerned I do the best I can in any given situation, and if it all goes pear-shaped, then I just apologise and try again.

tammy j said...

I love dogs and ice cream!
nothing against little fluffy kittens though. it's just a puppy has that kissable nose and wagging tail I love.
I recently am Vegan and already seeing the health benefits. so happy about that! and it's easier than I thought it might be.
and now to you Nick and Ursula both ...
I am truly so sorry for my part in hurting yours and Ursula's friendship.
I haven't followed any other blogs with anyone's words about it anywhere else but here. so I don't know what's been said further. but for my part in even starting it all out of some misguided defense of you Nick I didn't ever mean to cause such hurt.
I apologize to you Ursula.
simple and heartfelt and sincere.

Wisewebwoman said...

Ah this post is too sugary sweet for me.

I could comment more but I think previous commenters have taken up the slack on that :)

I was pondering on the word "serious". Should posts be serious? I have a weird sense of humour, very dark, not many get it so I'm not in the unicorns and rainbows and aren't I a great funny one contingent.

I can't imagine writing a post like yours, is it tongue in cheek? Maybe I should try.

XO
WWW

nick said...

Tammy: Jenny and I have been talking about going vegan for many years, but we always conclude that we like cheese too much! And all the vegan cheeses we've tried taste nothing like the real thing.

I shall say no more and leave Ursula to respond to the last part of your comment.

nick said...

www: Too sugary sweet? You mean I should have listed all my failings as well? You ought to know them all too well by now!

I don't think blog posts should always be serious. In fact I've done a lot of humorous ones over the years. But this one isn't tongue in cheek. Well, except for number 21. What part of it seems tongue in cheek?

tammy j said...

ah YES! my all time favorite! cheese.
but I had to get serious Nick. the triglycerides in my blood count were over 1200.
they're supposed to be no higher than 120 to 150 at the most. like playing with a loaded gun.
yikes! not into having a stroke just yet. but you're so right.
we cheese lovers miss it!

Ursula said...

My dear Tammy, you don't need to apologize for anything. The comment you are referring to stung. But that's ok (with me). It happens. Only saints never fly off the handle, never set a foot wrong. Main thing in life is to employ damage limitation.

Yes, damage limitation. Not Nick's strong point. How about this, after my making a plea twice earlier on, and I quote his answer in reply to Agent's comment: "Most of my blogmates, like yours, are like-minded people. But there's always the odd trouble maker."

The odd trouble maker. Sure. I am not a correspondent. I am not a friend. I, allegedly, take Nick too seriously. I am a trouble maker. That's all I amount to, a trouble maker. Not someone who contributed, for many years, anything to the discussion. Oh no, a trouble maker. If I took Nick seriously which I am learning not to (at his request) I'd take his comment as so below the belt, so mean, so so so many things ... not least so desperately disappointing. Nick wouldn't know hurt (other than his own) if it were flung at him.

Never mind. As long as the sun shines on Nick rain doesn't register.

U

kylie said...

Nick,
I am with Ursula. You are treating her abominably. In public. You are being narcissistic and twisting everything and then accusing her of the same, which she is not.
And let me just say that commenting about her on a third party's blog is at the level of a school kid who complains to the teacher about the kid who doesn't want to be friends. It's called triangulation and it's one of the less artful manipulative techniques.

I have said before that you are better than this but you don't seem to want to rise to my belief in you which is a pity because the only possible conclusion is that you are not, in fact better, at all.

nick said...

Tammy: That level of triglycerides sounds pretty scary. A vegan diet ought to make a big difference.

Secret Agent Woman said...

Wow, Tammy, that's dangerously high! Are you considering a statin?

nick said...

Ursula: I really don't know what to say. Clearly there is now major hurt and bitterness on both sides and I don't see how that can be easily resolved.

Kylie: Sorry, but she is also treating me abominably in public, and she is also narcissistic and twisting everything. If there's a more sophisticated way of dealing with all this, I don't know of it. So you're right, I'm probably not the better person you think I am. This whole situation is utterly distressing and painful. It's like an open wound that's just getting bigger. I have no idea what to do about it.

Ursula said...

Nick, there is nothing to be resolved. You made your feelings clear and, as I said a few days ago, sometimes there is no going back. Please do remember your words to both John and Rachel that my "boycotting your blog" will give you "welcome respite". It's too late to back paddle from that.

You didn't need to leave two rather questionable comments about me on John's blog (that is what Kylie means by "triangulation"). The worst of it, that you will not stand by it. You will not admit to it. You can't bring yourself to acknowledge that even I am not untouchable, that maybe you overstepped a mark. Instead of which, makes me smile, look at your reply to Kylie: "She is also ..." Pointing a finger as if that justifies, and excuses, your own actions. I am sorry to say so, Nick, I have lost all respect for you. And once my respect for someone has gone it's actually rather easy for me to keep my distance.

Let's leave it at that. Let's remember the good times when we rubbed along with customary and quite comfortable occasional friction.

It was nice knowing you,
Ursula

nick said...

Ursula: This feud all blew up because you attacked at considerable length one of my blogmates (I'm not going to name them and give you an excuse to attack them all over again). If your departure means people can now comment without opening themselves to such uncalled-for attacks, then that's all well and good.

"Overstepping the mark" is what you have done on many many occasions, and I think I've been very patient in my responses. If this time I finally lost my rag, that's hardly surprising.

Rummuser said...

No, I shan't risk a clip around the ear, thank you.

nick said...

Ramana: Very wise!

John Gray said...

Bloody hell . It's. All kicked off

Nick said...

John: Suddenly blogland turns ugly. The international peace-keeping force has been called in.