Saturday, 10 January 2015

Come flirt with me

I was never very good at flirting, and never very good at sussing that I was being flirted with. Someone would have to flirt really blatantly for me to notice it.

Mind you, at my advanced age it's not often that anyone flirts with me, and I can't even remember the last time anyone did. Probably around the time the Spice Girls were in nappies.

Of course there may have been secret admirers who were too shy to flirt with me. They may have been nursing an unrequited crush they couldn't bring themselves to divulge. Sure, and there goes a flying pig.

It was a different story in my twenties. Quite a few women flirted with me so boldly I could hardly miss it. If I didn't fancy them, it was sometimes hard to fend them off.

Personally I think flirting is good clean fun, as long as it's just that and not a serious attempt to steal someone's mate. And as long as the flirtee is enjoying it and isn't feeling uncomfortable and invaded. But some people totally refuse to flirt on the grounds that it's immoral and dangerous.

It's embarrassing though to watch seedy, unattractive middle-aged men compulsively flirting with women who probably find them repulsive. Have they any idea how ridiculous they look? Presumably not or they wouldn't be doing it.

It's also embarrassing to watch people flirting simply to prove their physical attractiveness and desirability, which they're permanently unsure of. The desperate need for reassurance is sad.

But life would be dull without flirting. It adds a bit of spice to the everyday routine. So what the hell, come flirt with me....

25 comments:

Jane and Lance Hattatt said...

Hello Nick,

To flirt or not to flirt......now that really is the question.

Flirting can so easily go very badly wrong for so many reasons that it is quite probably a dangerous activity. One person's harmless bit of fun can be another's idea of sexual assault.

We have to say that, in general, we are for it and even are sometimes quite shameless about it. But then we do live on the edge! It has certainly spiced things up at would have been rather dull dinner parties in the past.

Whatever we wish you a flirtatious 2015..... and peace, joy and success too!

Nick said...

Jane and Lance: Good to see back in blogland! That's true, you have to be very sensitive to the other person's reactions, and back off if they seem uncomfortable. Unfortunately a lot of men (well, it's mostly men) just carry on regardless.

Indeed, it's good to live a little on the edge. Too much predictable routine is no use to anyone.

And a wickedly flirtatious 2015 to you too!

susie said...

Hey Nick, did you know that the Spice Girls are now about 40 years old? Haha.

Nick said...

Susie: Indeed I did. Between 38 and 42 to be exact. It was a literary exaggeration, lol.

Anonymous said...

I am a flirter, but in a noisy and healthy way. I mean no harm and everyone knows I am no threat to any partner. Mind you if I feel the person is a little wobbly in their relationship with their partner, I down the shutters and save the flirting for those who are like minded and flirt with me.

A little flirting certainly brightens my day!

Grannymar said...

That anonymous comment was me. it posted before I was ready.

Nick said...

Grannymar: That's true, flirting is unwise if the other person's relationship is a bit insecure. But flirting is a lot of fun!

Jay said...

Well, as you know, I'm with you on this one. There's is not much which is more fun that flirting with someone who knows the game, especially if your Other Half is there and enjoying the show in the sure knowledge that it is just that; a game.

I would never flirt with someone who might take my overtures seriously, and in fact, before I was married, I was too shy to do any serious flirting. How we change, as we grow!

Nick said...

Jay: Yes, when your partner knows it's a game and is also enjoying it all, that adds to the fun. As long as it remains a game and you don't get too carried away!

CheerfulMonk said...

That brings back good memories. :) I haven't done it in years, though. Now I'm retired and haven't been to a party in years, so I'm indulging in different joys.

Nick said...

Jean: Glad it brings back good memories! I haven't been to a party for a while either....

Keith Smith said...

When I am out with my friend, who is the same age as myself, 75+, bald, has a beer belly, wears clothes that went out of fashion in the 40's and thinks he is God's gift to women, he constantly tries to chat up girls young enough to be his granddaughters. I feel sick and embarrassed for the girls. If only he could see himself. . . .

Nick said...

Keith: Why is that thoroughly unattractive men can't see that most women are totally uninterested in them? Or they do see it but they persist with their unwanted attentions anyway.

Secret Agent Woman said...

I think there is harmless welcome flirtation and that's just fun. I'm not the jealous type, so I don't worry about flirtation on the part of someone I'm seeing if it's clear there is no intent behind it.

And then there is definitely unwanted flirtation. Unfortunately, there are people who don't get it that they aren't appealing to their targets!

Nick said...

Agent: If you were the jealous type, the sight of your partner casually flirting with all and sundry must be quite agonising....

Liz Hinds said...

We have a notorious womaniser in Zac's and I mentioned to others that he hadn't tried it on with me (I was offended!!!) It was pointed out to me that he probably had but I hadn't noticed.

Harmless flirtation is good for morale I think.

Nick said...

Liz: Ha ha, welcome to the club! I suspect the reason I don't notice people flirting with me is that deep-down I don't believe I'm attractive enough to be flirted with.

Ms Scarlet said...

I once declared to a group of friends that I never flirt.
And they all fell about laughing.
I have no idea why.
Sx

Nick said...

Scarlet: I really can't imagine why they would be laughing. I mean, you're just not the flirtatious type....

Bijoux said...

Ever notice how women who flirt are called "teases" while men are called "perverts"?

Nick said...

Bijoux: Can't say I've noticed that, though I do think from what I've observed myself that male flirting is often more blatant and annoying than female flirting.

Rummuser said...

What is flirting? Please bear with me. I am an orthodox Hindu. We don't do such things. We just ogle.

Nick said...

Ramana: You've never enjoyed the tantalising thrill of flirting with someone? You've missed a lot of fun! Ogling, on the other hand, is a little bit creepy....

Wisewebwoman said...

I'm a flirter but have had to be careful in the past as some of the men, committed or not, took it upon themselves to bring it to the next level. I am particularly in mind of a reverend whom I had pegged as quite harmless to flirt with who followed me to a kitchen downstairs and lunged himself at me. Sweet jeebus.

Be careful out there.

XO
WWW

Nick said...

www: That's the occasional drawback I guess, that some men (and women) take the flirting too seriously and then you have to fight them off.