Tuesday 18 March 2014

Pretentious, moi?

Am I pretent-ious? Do I try to impress people with all sorts of phoney tricks and gambits? Do I think the real me is too dull and too ordinary to interest people?

Sometimes I decide, yes, I'm totally pretentious, I'm trying to wow everyone with my superior education or my clever arguments or my worldliness or my political right-on-ness. I want them to think I'm a bit special, a bit remarkable, someone they'll remember when they've forgotten a hundred other people.

Then I think, no, that's utter crap, I'm not the slightest bit pretentious, I know my education was mediocre and most of my clever arguments are bullshit and I'm about as worldly as a dormouse and politically right-on as the weather forecast.

I know perfectly well I'm probably as dull and ordinary as the next person and there's no point in pretending otherwise. I might think I'm special but that's just my inflated opinion of all the personal clichés and platitudes that I fondle and caress in the privacy of my own ego.

At the end of the day, pretending to be more sophisticated than I am isn't going to fool anyone. People aren't that stupid, they can tell the difference between meaningless bollocks and emotional and psychological truth. They want to see the real me, however dull and ordinary and messy, they don't want some showy performance.

So no, I don't think I'm pretentious, but I may just want to think that, I may just want to convince myself I'm a regular guy with no airs and graces. Other people may be laughing like drains, ready to point out all my pompous pronouncements and vacuous statements and puncture my balloon of self-satisfaction.

Please do. Honest opinions are always welcome. You're not likely to dent my ego, which is about the size of a garden pea and has probably already slipped down the back of the sofa. Go on, tell me the truth. Pretentious, moi?

30 comments:

  1. Nah, you're not pretentious. Like me, you are just a boring fart. I only come here to read your insidious, pointless rantings. It make me feel that my blog is far superior to anything I read on this blog.

    Well you did say "tell the truth". (Yawn) Well I'm off to find some more boring blogs. . . . . .

    Have a nice day!

    From: constructivecriticisms.co.fr/joking/

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  2. Oh, I forgot, have you read my Kindle book "How to make friends and lose them in one easy lesson"?

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  3. You are asking for it, you know.

    No, I find you very easy to talk to, and I'm not pretentious.

    You did use that big word once, though.

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  4. I wouldn't want to judge, not having met you. I certainly don't get that from your blog posts though.

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  5. Keith: How very dare you! My insidious, pointless rantings have twice won the Ranter of the Year Award. No mean achievement, I can tell you.

    Susie: I know, I have this compulsion to stick my neck out. Glad you find me easy to talk to. It must be because of my insouciance.

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  6. Jean: Thank you!

    Bijoux: Thank you too. You're always a straight-talker, so I believe you!

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  7. "Stay as sweet as you are", I sing and make tomorrow special!

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  8. Grannymar: Hmmm, not sure how sweet I am, there are some nooks and corners that aren't so sweet. But I do my best!

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  9. Your ego is the size of a pea?

    Well, Nick, you said it. I'd say the chip on your shoulder is larger than a splinter. But not too heavy to carry.

    So man up (I know how much you love that expression), look the world in the eye, and don't make less of yourself than there is.

    And let me tell you: We are all 'special'. One way or another. Sure, on the colour spectrum of life some people are a bit like Magnolia. But even Magnolia does have its place (my landlord swears by the stuff).


    Apropos pretentious: Do apply logic, Nick. You talk about 'true self'. But if someone is pretentious then that IS their true self. A facet of their character. Even if a whiter shade of pale.

    U

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  10. The chip on my shoulder? About what exactly?

    Can pretensions be part of your true self if you're actually trying to be something you're not? That seems to be illogical rather than logical.

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  11. How did you come to think that you might be being pretentious?
    It wouldn't have occcurred to me from your blog...

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  12. Helen: Hard to say. I suppose I sometimes feel I'm brandishing too many smart comments and witty asides, as if I'm trying to prove something. I think I even see too much obvious intelligence as being a bit pretentious.

    I'm too complicated by half....

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  13. I would not have gone with pretentious. Maybe a wee bit given to over-generalizations without scientific back-up?

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  14. Agent: Over-generalisations without scientific back-up? Guilty as charged, ma'am! Not the first time I've been told that, and I've taken notice of it. I try very hard now not to make sweeping assumptions out of nowhere.

    Suburbia: Merci beaucoup!

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  15. I'm going before the fight starts. . . . .

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  16. Keith: There are very few serious fights on my blog. My blog buddies are all very civilised people. Love and peace, guys!

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  17. "You're not likely to dent my ego, which is about the size of a garden pea and has probably already slipped down the back of the sofa."

    Hahahahahahah!! I love that. I can identify with it, too. I don't think I'm pretentious, because I'm well aware of my defects and the fact that other people probably know far more than I do on any number of subjects but like you, I am guilty sometimes of trying to impress. Maybe you think I am - I don't know.

    You? No way. One of the least pretentious people I have 'met', I'd say!

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  18. Jay: Thanks for that! I spent a couple of hours the other day looking for my ego. I finally spotted it in a gap under the skirting board.

    Yes, I always think that if I try to sound more knowledgeable than I am, the other person will turn out to be the world's expert on the subject and I'll just look like a complete berk.

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  19. You've asked for it Nick:

    No you're not pretentious BUT (always that unattractive BUT) you seem to speak from privilege more than a few times with little understanding of perceived "lessers". A hint of snobbery? A lack of serious heart wrenching life experience? Only you can tell.
    But you write. And write. And that, my friend, is what makes you accessible.
    XO
    WWW

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  20. www: Interesting. I always think I'm very aware of all those who have less than I have, especially now with the government's austerity programme hitting a lot of people really hard. What makes you think I don't understand those who are less privileged?

    You're right about the lack of a serious heart wrenching life experience. Up till now I've not known devastating, incapacitating grief, or anything that's turned my life upside down. Privilege indeed.

    Someone else said that I "diminish other's concerns", which sounds a bit like what you're saying. But she didn't explain what she meant by that.

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  21. YOu seem anything but pretentious Nick.

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  22. Thanks, Jenny. This is all very reassuring!

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  23. Nick:
    To clarify what I said (and you asked )you appear to not have had any personal knowledge of the types you judge a little too harshly - in my opinion. Some of your takes sound a little sniffy.
    It could be just the writing of it not being too clear.
    You seem to lack understanding and compassion at times.
    XO
    WWW

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  24. www: Thank you, that's very enlightening. I shall take note now of when I seem to be judging people and whether I have any personal insight into their circumstances. If not, I shall shut up!

    Ironic, because one of the things that annoys me about my mother is the way she judges people when she knows absolutely nothing about them.

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  25. I cannot judge based on just written matter, the medium through which we have come to know each other. To really judge someone as to whether s/he is pretentious, one must be able to observe body language and facial expressions.

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  26. Ramana: Body language can give you extra clues, but I think words can tell you pretty clearly if someone's pretentious or not.

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