It's extraordinary really. Jenny's never left me for another man (or woman). I've never left her for another woman (or man). We haven't got bored with each other. We haven't had the mother and father of all blazing rows and split up the next morning. We haven't disappointed each other (much). We haven't decided the other is a waste of space. Neither of us have drunk ourselves to death or gone nuts or taken an overdose. We're still the best of pals, giggling behind the bike shed.
How come the usual pitfalls that other couples succumb to seem to have passed us by? What's the magic ingredient? What's our special formula for continued romantic bliss? Er, dunno really, I'll get back to you on that. I just have to consult my astrologer, my therapist, my relationship adviser and my feng-shui analyst. And then I'll feed all the results into my super-powered, algorhythmic, multi-permutational software app and get the definitive route map. Or possibly the perfect recipe for kidney bean chili if something screws up.
But wow, we've been round the block a few times. We've weathered so many crises together. Using the wrong toothbrush. Leaving the toilet seat up (or down). Running out of knickers. Finding a giant spider in the bath. Not finding the giant spider and hoping it's not hiding under the duvet. Wondering if that strange noise is a deranged burglar with a freshly-sharpened machete or a creaking floorboard. Telling the Jehovah's Witness we're both Druids. Somehow we've dealt with them all and lived to tell the tale.
So miraculously, incredibly, thrillingly, we're still together after all these years. How many more, I wonder?
Happy Valentine's Day to all my lovely blog buddies.
Fantastic! Have a beautiful day together!
ReplyDeleteDoesn't she travel a lot?
ReplyDeleteBijoux: Thank you! We're going to the cinema to see "Her" tonight. Then a pizza and a big glass of wine!
ReplyDeleteSusie: Who's that, Cupid or Jenny? Cupid certainly gets around. She must be totally exhausted after Valentine's Day, ready to curl up in bed with a glossy and an even bigger glass of wine.
Happy Days, Nick!
ReplyDeleteBut you don't share much of what you think makes it work.
XO
WWW
Great tribute to a soul mate. May you many more years of joy and giggles together.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the Valentine wish!
That should read:
ReplyDeleteMay you have many more years of joy and giggles together.
Jenny, I meant. They key to a good marriage is lots of business travel. Ha Ha.
ReplyDeleteYou never had a "blazing row", Nick?
ReplyDeleteU
www: It's funny, I wrote a first version that went through all the things we shared. But I thought it was so dull I scrapped it. Perhaps I should try again.
ReplyDeleteGrannymar: Thanks!
Susie: Unfortunately she doesn't get that much business travel. But it's taken us to Australia and the USA so I'm not complaining!
Ursula: Oh yes, plenty of blazing rows. But not severe enough or prolonged enough to make us think seriously about splitting up.
Wow Nick, that's wonderful and I am envious (if only I'd worked a little harder at it...etc) and I've only just realised I'm too old to have it all now.
ReplyDeleteSo good luck to you both - you made it and that's great.
Andy and I have been married 49 1/2 years. We laugh a lot and have a lot of shared memories.
ReplyDeleteThat's wonderful. I'm sure I don't need to say it, but never become complacent. Love to you both.
ReplyDeleteSuburbia: Oh, you had very good reasons for getting a divorce, and it sounds like you're very happy now with Richard. Nothing to regret!
ReplyDeleteJean: So we're just fumbling beginners compared with you two! Congratulations on your romantic longevity....
Z: That's good advice. Being complacent, or taking a relationship for granted, is asking for trouble. Relationships, like gardens, need tender loving care.
About 40 years ago a friend said she would never get a divorce --- she would never admit to the world that she had made a mistake. The idea still makes me smile.
ReplyDeletePowerful comment from Cheerful Monk: To "never admit to the world that she [her friend] had made a mistake" is taking pride a little far.
ReplyDeleteIn which context [mistake] may I say, Nick: Whilst I am happy for anyone who is happily married to me length of marriage is overrated.I was married twice. Both marriages (of vastly different lengths) ended in divorce. That does not mean that those marriages were failures. Not at all. I married two great men. No regrets. There is more than one way to go about life.
U
Jean: It's absurd that shoring up some perfect public image is more important than leaving someone who's making you miserable. A recipe for a lifetime of unhappiness.
ReplyDeleteUrsula: I totally agree, length of marriage is irrelevant when it comes to whether you're happy together or not. People who boast of being married for 50 years but drive each other crazy have a very strange way of looking at things.
Hubby and I celebrate 33 years together as well. We just enjoy each others company. I joke that murderers get less time, but the truth is I wouldn't change the last 33 years. Looks like both you and I hit the jackpot when it came to partners.
ReplyDeleteBonsaimum: Murderers get less time - I like it! Glad you get on equally well with your hubby. I count my blessings every day....
ReplyDeleteA good relationship is the most wonderful blessing. It is largely luck, as so many things are. But also there's some adjusting to be done, isn't there. It just doesn't hurt so much to adjust when you know you really want that other person to stay in your life, no matter what.
ReplyDeleteJenny: That's so true about finding adjustment much easier if you really want the other person in your life. That's certainly been the case with me and (my) Jenny on many occasions. But yes, luck is a big factor as well. Luck in meeting the right person, luck in continuing to be compatible etc.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations and all the very best for continued togetherness to the two of you.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Ramana!
ReplyDelete