Friday, 14 February 2014

Cupid's arrow

Holy haddock! Jenny and I have been together for nearly 33 years. How did that happen? How come we're still so besotted, so enamoured, so captivated? How come we never derailed, how come the train never left the tracks and plunged down a cliff? How come Cupid's still cheering us on?

It's extraordinary really. Jenny's never left me for another man (or woman). I've never left her for another woman (or man). We haven't got bored with each other. We haven't had the mother and father of all blazing rows and split up the next morning. We haven't disappointed each other (much). We haven't decided the other is a waste of space. Neither of us have drunk ourselves to death or gone nuts or taken an overdose. We're still the best of pals, giggling behind the bike shed.

How come the usual pitfalls that other couples succumb to seem to have passed us by? What's the magic ingredient? What's our special formula for continued romantic bliss? Er, dunno really, I'll get back to you on that. I just have to consult my astrologer, my therapist, my relationship adviser and my feng-shui analyst. And then I'll feed all the results into my super-powered, algorhythmic, multi-permutational software app and get the definitive route map. Or possibly the perfect recipe for kidney bean chili if something screws up.

But wow, we've been round the block a few times. We've weathered so many crises together. Using the wrong toothbrush. Leaving the toilet seat up (or down). Running out of knickers. Finding a giant spider in the bath. Not finding the giant spider and hoping it's not hiding under the duvet. Wondering if that strange noise is a deranged burglar with a freshly-sharpened machete or a creaking floorboard. Telling the Jehovah's Witness we're both Druids. Somehow we've dealt with them all and lived to tell the tale.

So miraculously, incredibly, thrillingly, we're still together after all these years. How many more, I wonder?

Happy Valentine's Day to all my lovely blog buddies.

22 comments:

Bijoux said...

Fantastic! Have a beautiful day together!

susie said...

Doesn't she travel a lot?

Nick said...

Bijoux: Thank you! We're going to the cinema to see "Her" tonight. Then a pizza and a big glass of wine!

Susie: Who's that, Cupid or Jenny? Cupid certainly gets around. She must be totally exhausted after Valentine's Day, ready to curl up in bed with a glossy and an even bigger glass of wine.

Wisewebwoman said...

Happy Days, Nick!

But you don't share much of what you think makes it work.

XO
WWW

Grannymar said...

Great tribute to a soul mate. May you many more years of joy and giggles together.

Thank you for the Valentine wish!

Grannymar said...

That should read:

May you have many more years of joy and giggles together.

susie said...

Jenny, I meant. They key to a good marriage is lots of business travel. Ha Ha.

Ursula said...

You never had a "blazing row", Nick?

U

Nick said...

www: It's funny, I wrote a first version that went through all the things we shared. But I thought it was so dull I scrapped it. Perhaps I should try again.

Grannymar: Thanks!

Susie: Unfortunately she doesn't get that much business travel. But it's taken us to Australia and the USA so I'm not complaining!

Ursula: Oh yes, plenty of blazing rows. But not severe enough or prolonged enough to make us think seriously about splitting up.

Suburbia said...

Wow Nick, that's wonderful and I am envious (if only I'd worked a little harder at it...etc) and I've only just realised I'm too old to have it all now.

So good luck to you both - you made it and that's great.

Cheerful Monk said...

Andy and I have been married 49 1/2 years. We laugh a lot and have a lot of shared memories.

Z said...

That's wonderful. I'm sure I don't need to say it, but never become complacent. Love to you both.

Nick said...

Suburbia: Oh, you had very good reasons for getting a divorce, and it sounds like you're very happy now with Richard. Nothing to regret!

Jean: So we're just fumbling beginners compared with you two! Congratulations on your romantic longevity....

Z: That's good advice. Being complacent, or taking a relationship for granted, is asking for trouble. Relationships, like gardens, need tender loving care.

Cheerful Monk said...

About 40 years ago a friend said she would never get a divorce --- she would never admit to the world that she had made a mistake. The idea still makes me smile.

Ursula said...

Powerful comment from Cheerful Monk: To "never admit to the world that she [her friend] had made a mistake" is taking pride a little far.

In which context [mistake] may I say, Nick: Whilst I am happy for anyone who is happily married to me length of marriage is overrated.I was married twice. Both marriages (of vastly different lengths) ended in divorce. That does not mean that those marriages were failures. Not at all. I married two great men. No regrets. There is more than one way to go about life.

U

Nick said...

Jean: It's absurd that shoring up some perfect public image is more important than leaving someone who's making you miserable. A recipe for a lifetime of unhappiness.

Ursula: I totally agree, length of marriage is irrelevant when it comes to whether you're happy together or not. People who boast of being married for 50 years but drive each other crazy have a very strange way of looking at things.

bonsaimum said...

Hubby and I celebrate 33 years together as well. We just enjoy each others company. I joke that murderers get less time, but the truth is I wouldn't change the last 33 years. Looks like both you and I hit the jackpot when it came to partners.

Nick said...

Bonsaimum: Murderers get less time - I like it! Glad you get on equally well with your hubby. I count my blessings every day....

Jenny Woolf said...

A good relationship is the most wonderful blessing. It is largely luck, as so many things are. But also there's some adjusting to be done, isn't there. It just doesn't hurt so much to adjust when you know you really want that other person to stay in your life, no matter what.

Nick said...

Jenny: That's so true about finding adjustment much easier if you really want the other person in your life. That's certainly been the case with me and (my) Jenny on many occasions. But yes, luck is a big factor as well. Luck in meeting the right person, luck in continuing to be compatible etc.

Rummuser said...

Congratulations and all the very best for continued togetherness to the two of you.

Nick said...

Thanks, Ramana!