Saturday, 7 December 2013

Off trend

I couldn't be pretentious to save my life. I do what I want to do, and if it isn't trendy or cultured or flashy enough, that's too bad.

I see other people with their Armani jeans and iPads and Lady Gaga tickets and the Morrissey book and I think, well, that's fine, whatever turns you on, but I'm not going to rush out and buy all the latest fashionable bits and bobs just to prove I'm a cutting-edge sophisticate who knows where it's at. Whatever It may be. And wherever It may be lurking.

I insist on buying cheap chain-store jeans, tickets for old-timers like K T Tunstall, books by obscure authors nobody's ever heard of, and comfort food scarcely mentioned by all the celebrity chefs. I know practically everything I do or say is thoroughly off-message, and I don't give a damn.

The few times I've actually tried to be up-to-the-minute, style-conscious and so-hip-it-hurts, it's been a dismal failure and whispered put-downs and stifled giggles are the order of the day. I just somehow lose the plot and look like a pathetic wannabe trailing hopelessly behind the smug pace-setters.

When I was at boarding school, I tried desperately to be as smoothly masculine and rugged as the other boys, but of course it didn't work. However hard I tried, I still ended up as the effeminate wimp who simpered when I should be growling, and let my hair flop everywhere instead of slicking it back like Elvis.

As a teenage dater, I sometimes tried to be the cool, monosyllabic guy with the perfect social poise, but inevitably I reverted to type and remained the bashful, stuttering greenhorn terrified that any intelligent woman would laugh hysterically at my mumbled request for a second date.

No, I leave the pretentious posing and posturing to others, and continue to go my own way, gazing curiously at the breathless trend-setters scurrying along several miles ahead.

Don't mind me. I'm quite happy where I am.

17 comments:

Wisewebwoman said...

I think I've always walked to the beat of a different drummer. Some have said I set a certain style but that is not the intent at all. I go with what's comfortable and where my curiosity and passion lead me.
I am clear on my preferences, yes I enjoy living alone, and don't have TV and OMG read by the fire and knit.
And work on myself.
XO
WWW

Nick said...

www: "I go with what's comfortable and where my curiosity and passion lead me." That's a very good principle, I'd go along with that.
Read by the fire and knit, goodness, whatever next?

Grannymar said...

What other people think of me is their business and not mine. The important thing is that I am happy in my own skin. I am.

Secret Agent Woman said...

I wouldn't necessarily dismiss anyone who has an object that is considered trendy. Just because something is fashionable, doesn't mean it isn't' right for that person. The key, I think, is whether you own something because it suits your purposes or because you feel pressured to have it to fit in.

Nick said...

Grannymar: Well, I've never noticed you doing anything the least bit pretentious. Good for you.

Agent: Oh, absolutely. I'm not saying nobody should watch Lady Gaga or read about Morrissey's life. Whatever gets you through the day, as they say. They were only examples, and I was simply saying that I don't rush out and buy something just because it's the latest fashionable must-have.

John Gray said...

I don't think I am pretentious
But I think I can be
Oh shit

Nick said...

John: I know, it sneaks up on you, doesn't it? I may not think I'm pretentious, but there are probably little streaks of it I'm unaware of....

Nick said...

Okay, I'm sure you're all dying to tell me the ways in which I'm as pretentious as hell....

Ursula said...

Since you ask, Nick: If one wasn't well disposed towards you one might say that your very post is a little pretentious in its own right, reminding me of 'inverted snobbery'.

U

Bijoux said...

It's sad to live in a culture where kids think they have to spend mega-bucks to fit in.

Nick said...

Ursula: Inverted snobbery? Maybe. But I don't think I have a snobbish attitude towards trend-followers. I'm just saying I tend to ignore the trends and go my own way.

Bijoux: True. Some of these fashionable gadgets and clothes don't come cheap. Goodness knows where their parents get the money from.

Cheerful Monk said...

I'm with you. Style is not a word that people associate with me. :)

c said...

I once wrote a post entitled "Stylish? Not so much." http://stresstopower.com/blog/2011/02/18/stylish-not-so-much-2/

Cheerful Monk said...

I pressed the publish button too fast!

Nick said...

Jean: Me neither. But the whole neighbourhood is pretty much style-free, so I fit in perfectly.

Re your post, my funny bone is easily tickled too. It gets me into trouble because people assume a frivolous remark about something means I don't take the subject seriously. I do, I do, I just see the light and dark sides together.

Rummuser said...

Sometimes we just get stuck in some ancient rites that would appear to someone else as being pretentious. Let me give you one example. I would not wear a shirt unless I had a tie on and would wear a safari shirt if I had to be without a tie. Most people around me thought that I was being a WOG whereas it was just one of those things that I was taught as a young starting our salesman that one never left a shirt open at the neck. I got over it and now wear shirts with open collars.

Nick said...

Ramana: I think a lot of Northern Ireland guys are like that. They would feel undressed without a tie. But I was really referring to present-day trends rather than long-standing traditions.