Wednesday, 3 August 2011

Passion killers

It's strange that some people still find public displays of affection beyond the pale and would rather "that sort of thing" was confined to somewhere more private. What's so offensive about kissing or hugging someone in the street?

Of course exceptionally besotted individuals can go a bit too far in their intimate fondling and caressing, to the extent that I have to tactfully avert my gaze and pretend to be engrossed in the niceties of paving-stone design, but that's a rare occurrence. Most couples are sensible enough to keep their embraces within decent limits.

In fact I find the sight of passionately entwined couples rather touching and heart-warming, a visible reminder that love still blossoms in a world where many people feel lonely or unloved. I always hope their passion will last and not wither away.

But there are still some who maintain that such public smooching "just isn't necessary", that it's frightfully vulgar and inconsiderate, that it's "rubbing our noses in it." Rubbing our noses in what? That we can enjoy each other's company?

Same-sex embraces are especially distasteful in some quarters, goodness knows why. Religion's usually involved. But what harm is it doing anyone? It amuses me that heterosexual men are still averse to kissing or hugging each other when they meet and limit themselves to a chaste handshake. Heaven forbid anyone might get the wrong impression and think they're "that way inclined".

Personally I've not only kissed hundreds of men but enjoyed it. Kissing is always fun, whoever it's with. But I still find myself exchanging those familiar jokey remarks to other men that "We'd better not kiss, ha ha ha." Most frustrating when it's someone utterly gorgeous....

This same-sex coolness seems to be very much a British thing, a relic of the widespread sexual repression of earlier decades. Men in other countries happily kiss and hug when they meet without thinking twice about it.

There's nothing to be scared of, guys. It won't drop off.

23 comments:

Princess said...

Ah... the voice of sanity....

e said...

I wholeheartedly agree...Thanks again for your e-mail.

Grannymar said...

I love a hug and a kiss of welcome when I meet friends, no matter what their sexual persuasion. The French have it down to a fine art. Mind I was surprised one evening when departing French guests gave me four kisses - left right, left right! When I queried it with Elly, she informed that that was because they considered me family! I'll have more of that thank you!

Nick said...

Princess - Sanity is sometimes pushed aside by unthinking squeamishness.

e - Glad you agree. Big kisses to you!

Grannymar - So does the number of kisses indicate the closeness of the relationship? Four kisses all at once - heaven!

Wisewebwoman said...

We have more tolerance for violence than we do for affection, it never ceases to amaze me.
It is a society which frowns on public breastfeeding for heaven's sake!!
My male friends will publicly kiss me but not each other. My female friends always kiss/hug me and each other.
We don't hug each other enough. Males must be hungry for it but never admit it.
XO
WWW

Nick said...

www - I think you're right that men would like more physical affection with other men but won't admit it. I'm sure the uptight demeanour of a lot of men is all due to repressing this natural desire.

John Gray said...

I am not an advocate for SNOGGING in public but I do like to see a little peck and hug between people of all denominations!
now I woulod like to see more kissing between police officers but thats ANOTHER story
good blog

Macy said...

But we can agree that mealtimes is wrong can't we?
And squelchy noises in the theatre??

Nick said...

John - I can't see anything wrong with snogging unless it goes completely over the top. Kissing between police officers? The mind boggles.

Macy - So what's the problem with snogging at mealtimes? I think I would draw the line at squelchy noises though, very offputting, particularly in the theatre. How could you hear the actors properly?

nursemyra said...

"I find the sight of passionately entwined couples rather touching and heart-warming, a visible reminder that love still blossoms in a world where many people feel lonely or unloved. I always hope their passion will last and not wither away."

Hear hear, I always think that too

kylie said...

exactly what kind of kisses have you exchanged with men? you get more and more interesting

as for PDA, i'm always madly jealous

secret agent woman said...

I'm awaiting your answer to Kylie.

I grew up in a huggy-kissy family and am very comfortable with public affection. I don't mind seeing someone kissing, but I really don't want o to have to see someone who appears to be on the verge of sex. I'm not opposed to sex (as may be obvious from my blog), I'm just not interested in seeing any that doesn't involve me.

Nick said...

Myra - It is rather touching, isn't it? It would be interesting to catch up with them six months later and see if the relationship endured.

Kylie - In the early seventies I was a supporter of the Gay Liberation Front in London and it was routine to kiss when you met up with someone. Thus the hundreds of kisses.

I'm a little jealous when it's someone stunning, but not otherwise!

Nick said...

Secret Agent - See my reply to Kylie above! I did go to bed with a couple of men at that time, but I soon realised it did nothing for me.

I agree, if it's getting seriously intense then it starts to get seriously embarrassing.

Rummuser said...

Hugging, kissing, holding hands etc are quite acceptable between opposite and the same sexes, but I would not quite call smooching in public without restraint as demonstration of love. I would say that it is demonstration of lust.

Nick said...

Ramana - Why is kissing and cuddling not a demonstration of love? I would have thought it was exactly that. And how do you tell smooching is a sign of lust rather than love?

Yours, Confused.

Baino said...

I haven't really got an opinion on it as long as they're not tickling each other's tonsils I guess. Although I love the French greetings, breaks down barriers and is a really lovely way to form a friendship.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

That's why I love Paris. In my memories, people are kissing on every corner and in every doorway. Kissing and croissants --heavenly.

Nick said...

Baino - Tickling each other's tonsils sounds like a good demarcation line. Yes, French greetings and partings are beautiful, they have no silly inhibitions.

Heart - Kissing and croissants, even better! Or kissing and croissants and wine, paradise!

Rummuser said...

Nick, I shall write separately and send you a video link to explain my definition.

Nick said...

Ramana - Okay, I'll have a look at the video.

Leah said...

wonderful comments here all around. Displays of affection, same-sex kissing, policemen kissing (lol)--all good!!

Nick said...

Leah - I wonder if gay (or straight) policemen have ever kissed at a Gay Pride March? They'd certainly be integrating appropriately with the local community.