Wednesday, 25 March 2009

Cars and bras

Are women really shallower than men? A Welsh academic says yes - because they prefer a handsome man in a £70,000 Bentley to the same man in a clapped-out Ford Fiesta.

Dr Michael Dunn of the University of Wales Institute in Cardiff has done a survey of male and female reactions to the opposite sex and cars.

He found women generally opted for the man in the expensive car, whereas men were unimpressed by a flashy car and were only interested in the woman's looks.

According to Dr Dunn, this showed women were shallower than men because their heads were turned by a bit of high-powered machinery, while the men put the person first.

Well, excuse me, Dr Dunn, but I would turn that shallow argument inside out and say that makes men the superficial ones because they value mere physical appearance over what's inside the package. All they really care about is glossy hair and big tits.

Women on the other hand are more sensible because they look at a man's personal capabilities - including the ability to earn money and get on in life. Signs of self-confidence and success are more important than a firm jaw line and melting blue eyes.

Of course, speaking as a man who once owned an ageing Ford Fiesta, we do have a certain appeal to the more discerning female. There's a distinctive quality that money simply can't buy. Nevertheless, it's still true that a man's car might say more about him than the shape of his nose.

Dr Dunn also concludes that a man who owns an expensive car is seen as more likely to rear healthy offspring. Come again? How does that work exactly? Not the hoary old cliché about cars proving virility, surely? Dr Dunn, I have some advice for you. When you're in a hole - stop digging.
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I can't stop listening to: "Extraordinary Machine" by Fiona Apple

29 comments:

Thriftcriminal said...

Surely equally shallow, but in differing ways? Awfully ready to dis your own gender there Nick (as ever). Actually cycling can lead to prostate issues and erectile dysfunction, so possibly sensible for the ladies to avoid a cyclist, unless they have an appropriate saddle with a prostate protecting cutaway.

Nick said...

Thrifty - I know, I'm hopelessly disloyal to my own sex. That's true about cyclists though, women should avoid a cyclist like the plague. And I'm glad I haven't ridden a bike for many years - I might be seriously disabled by now....

Caro said...

I'm guessing Dr. Dunn drives a Lada and doesn't have much success with the ladies. Which obviously has everything to do with his car and nothing with him being a misogynist.

Nick said...

Caro - Your Lada and no-ladies theory could well be correct. In which case, yes, I'm sure the car is the only possible factor....

Thriftcriminal said...

Well, I reckon my prostate is grand, but my knees are giving me trouble from the cycling lately

Nick said...

Thrifty - My knees give me a bit of trouble too, so it may not be the cycling.

Grannymar said...

So cars are not phallic symbols then?

I know/knew several men with flash cars. They always seemed more interested in the car than anyone or anything else around them. A token blond leggy stick insect in the passenger seat was allowed so long as she left no fingerprints on the gleaming paintwork.

My late MIL had a great saying: 'The world is full of Good Looking nothings'! This applies equally to both sexes.

Mind those knees, you might have to give up the praying! ;)

Wisewebwoman said...

I read the title, Nick, and thought, this is a side of Nick I never would have expected, he puts a bra on his car???? The world turned off its axis for a minute there.
You see over here (haven't noticed it over there) men do put bras on their muscle cars to protect the grill from wayward insects, etc. Usually black and vinyl.
Those types of men would put a car way way ahead of any stupid female they might be seeing. And I say stupid knowingly. A friend of mine married one of these Neanderthals and he wouldn't give her a set of keys to it for fear it would be 'hurt' (his word).
Oh I'm so glad you haven't joined the bra bunch, Nick!
XO
WWW

Nick said...

Grannymar - You've certainly had bad experiences of men with swish cars. Personally I don't know many men (or women) with swanky cars, apart from estate agents and barristers.

Wot, I might have to give up praying? But how would I get that all-important divine guidance?

conortje said...

What a load of crapology - what a stupid survey to begin with, was he setting out to try and prove this offensive theory I wonder. I love Caro's comment. Men and women both come in many flavors anyway, unfortunately some of those flavours are shallow. Dr Dunn probably belongs in that category or else has way too much time on his hands and very little sense.

Nick said...

www - Bras for cars eh? Hadn't heard of that before. I had no idea they doubled as insect-repellants. I think a lot of men are over-protective of their cars, even if they're clapped-out Ford Fiestas.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm just nipping out for a car bra....

Nick said...

Conor - That's true enough, men and women come in infinite flavours, not many of us conform to survey stereotypes. And yes, Dr Dunn clearly has time to waste if that sort of crude analysis keeps him happy.

Hullaballoo said...

The mechanic in the first episode of the number 1 Ladies' detective agency, described how he could tell a man's personality in one minute by looking at his car.

I would be more intrigued by what was inside/on top of the Fiesta/Bentley. A surfboard which would speak of sporting prowess, a quirky novel would speak of incisive intellect and humour and an eclectic collection of cds would demonstrate a flexibile and open minded approach to the music.

Turn offs for me would be a pristinely hoovered interior, a neatly ordered brief case, no visible signs of personality and an absence of dubious stains on the passenger/back seat.

Nick said...

Hulla - You're right, the real point is not the make but what's casually abandoned inside it. Run a mile if the back seat's covered with Pampers, heart tablets and overdue gas bills....

Oh, and my car has a pristine interior with absolutely no dubious stains. Giving the wrong message, obviously.

Jenny Muir said...

When I was a teenager, bras that fastened (or rather, unfastened) at the front were known as 'car bras'. Now why would that be, I wonder?

Liz said...

Flashy cars, no thank you, old Beetles, yes please. Beetles containing empty chocolate wrappers, Double yes please.

I wish oh wish someone would pay me to do a survey. There are all sorts of interesting things I could study, like judging a person by the chocolate he/she chooses. I would need a lot of chocolate for that obviously

Nick said...

Jenny - I just can't think what the explanation could be. Unless....why, you saucy little minx you.

Nick said...

Liz - Ah yes, a car full of chocolate wrappers would be very promising. Or empty ice cream tubs, even better. A survey on chocolate preferences would be just up my street too. But there might not be much chocolate left for the interviewees.

Wisewebwoman said...

@Jenny:
Not vinyl, I take it?
XO
WWW

Wisewebwoman said...

Nick:

Just in case there's any doubt, here's a website:

http://www.carbras.com/

You can order online for the Fiesta!

XO
WWW

Nick said...

www - I see what you mean. They're certainly big enough to give you full coverage, as it were. I guess they're not needed in the UK, we just don't have that level of insect problem.

Funny, we seem to have moved on from men to insects....

Gayle's Joy In Life said...

LOL - Someone was actually paid to conduct that research? It proves that I really have been far too serious about Life. I need to be a bit more ridiculous!

Gayle

Nick said...

Gayle - Some of the things people get paid to research are pretty mind-boggling! If only he'd asked women WHY they thought cars were so important, or he'd asked men WHY they thought looks were so important, we might have found out something interesting.

Baino said...

Hmm . . and I always thought a flash car was a sure sign of a small . . .nah . .prolly shouldn't go there! And men judge women by their appearance . . now there's a revelation! Dr Dunce more like it.

Nick said...

Baino - I don't think anyone's actually researched the relationship between car ownership and genital dimensions. Maybe a future project for Dr Dunn? Or Dr Dunce should I say, nice one.

Suburbia said...

I was under the impression that (some) men buy expensive cars to attract the attractive members of the oposite sex?

(I guess it's proved that point then!)

Nick said...

Suburbia - I'm sure some men do exactly that. But I think men buy flashy cars for all sorts of reasons: gadgets, speed, status, copying workmates etc. Me, I'm happy with my Renault Clio.

katesaid said...

Great song. I had never heard it before last year, when a friend sent me a mix CD that included it.

Nick said...

Kate - Actually I meant the CD rather than the song, but yes, that song's brilliant too. She uses all sorts of mysterious instruments I'd never heard of before.