tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post7238183700369012930..comments2024-03-28T07:49:04.960+00:00Comments on nickhereandnow: An awful likenessnickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10472673041193755894noreply@blogger.comBlogger33125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-81203347415480779822012-06-14T07:59:07.726+01:002012-06-14T07:59:07.726+01:00Agent - I see my parents as negative role models t...Agent - I see my parents as negative role models too. And struggling against a negative model is much harder work than copying a positive one!Nicknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-28539743437425710392012-06-14T03:10:30.149+01:002012-06-14T03:10:30.149+01:00I have fought hard to not be like either parent - ...I have fought hard to not be like either parent - but I admit it's a struggle. I think of them as negative role models for my life.Secret Agent Womanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07564690116156754219noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-37895711611960222012012-06-12T18:03:29.346+01:002012-06-12T18:03:29.346+01:00Eryl - You must have decided over the years that t...Eryl - You must have decided over the years that the characteristics you saw as so awful are actually more positive than you thought.Nicknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-27751857386223659072012-06-12T15:45:57.290+01:002012-06-12T15:45:57.290+01:00There was a time when the very notion of being any...There was a time when the very notion of being anything like my mother filled me with horror, but I've got used to it and now I don't mind at all.Erylhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06008344023000459577noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-56684188643854157742012-06-10T21:02:45.866+01:002012-06-10T21:02:45.866+01:00Liz - Ah, maybe that's the unconscious princip...Liz - Ah, maybe that's the unconscious principle. If your partner does something praiseworthy, it's all their own work. But if they do something objectionable, then it's not really their fault, they're just taking after one of their parents...Nicknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-81469241809712273652012-06-10T20:22:28.879+01:002012-06-10T20:22:28.879+01:00Husband never met my mother so I'm safe! Unfor...Husband never met my mother so I'm safe! Unfortunately I know/knew his parents well and whenever I say he's turning into one of them it's for their bad points! (Maybe it's an in-law thing; they do/did have good points but when husband displays one of them I don't instantly think, 'Oh he's like his mum/dad.')Liz Hindshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04646532093872561703noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-25233091451473466222012-06-08T08:01:48.140+01:002012-06-08T08:01:48.140+01:00Paul - That may be part of it, but I think it'...Paul - That may be part of it, but I think it's more the perceived negative character traits you don't want to pick up.Nicknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-13920145899287346492012-06-07T22:55:37.553+01:002012-06-07T22:55:37.553+01:00I think it's partly just to do with getting - ...I think it's partly just to do with getting - and looking - older - like them.<br />I try to keep smiling - it seems to make a difference. (To resemblances and my disposition.)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-86522298367172149842012-06-07T20:30:45.252+01:002012-06-07T20:30:45.252+01:00Bijoux - Like looking at yourself in a mirror, I g...Bijoux - Like looking at yourself in a mirror, I guess. Could be most unnerving.Nicknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-18060260219826595462012-06-07T18:15:12.823+01:002012-06-07T18:15:12.823+01:00Oh, it's annoying all right! I suffer through ...Oh, it's annoying all right! I suffer through it every day!Bijouxhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05788630004051883635noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-72317972319779537812012-06-07T13:32:09.598+01:002012-06-07T13:32:09.598+01:00Myra - The phrase "You're turning into yo...Myra - The phrase "You're turning into your mother" could be a little confusing then. Which mother would we be talking about?Nicknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-62945678367636754292012-06-07T09:50:34.836+01:002012-06-07T09:50:34.836+01:00I was adopted as a baby but have met my birth moth...I was adopted as a baby but have met my birth mother. I look a lot like her and we share many character traits. then again, the mother who raised me passed along many of her characteristics as well. Nature vs. nurture.nursemyrahttp://nursemyra.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-72745669243883886362012-06-07T07:38:43.433+01:002012-06-07T07:38:43.433+01:00www - A street angel and a house devil, I like tha...www - A street angel and a house devil, I like that description. I hope that bit doesn't apply to you!<br /><br />e - My father was pretty bloodyminded, and unlike you he didn't choose his battles carefully, he let rip at anything he fancied without a thought.Nicknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-57732616004041637972012-06-07T00:42:10.726+01:002012-06-07T00:42:10.726+01:00I am like both parents with regard to sheer bloody...I am like both parents with regard to sheer bloodymindedness, which appears to run throughout my family line. Unlike them, I choose my battles very carefully and have no penchant for self-destruction.ehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11376645220662546020noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-64634274399842724162012-06-06T23:44:30.582+01:002012-06-06T23:44:30.582+01:00Forgot to mention Nick - the older I get the more ...Forgot to mention Nick - the older I get the more I look like my father and the recent pics of me on stage froze my heart. I am the head off him now.<br /><br />Never ever ever something I aspired to. He was a street angel and a house devil.<br /><br />Karma.<br />She be an awful t'ing, b'y.<br /><br />XO<br />WWWWisewebwomanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15281689872840844191noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-75850100847173472852012-06-06T20:58:03.376+01:002012-06-06T20:58:03.376+01:00Eryl - So presumably the resemblances don't bo...Eryl - So presumably the resemblances don't bother you at all? When you notice them, you don't rush for a stiff drink?Nicknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-77969280479053866132012-06-06T18:03:50.557+01:002012-06-06T18:03:50.557+01:00I'm so much like my mother I sometimes think I...I'm so much like my mother I sometimes think I am her, until I notice how much like my father I am in certain respects.Erylhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06008344023000459577noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-11439239364370178972012-06-06T17:02:00.408+01:002012-06-06T17:02:00.408+01:00Ramana - Yes, you have a very visible role model t...Ramana - Yes, you have a very visible role model to diverge from!<br /><br />Liz - That's true, it's the tone. It usually implies criticism of some kind. But of course if it's a positive point they're referring to, that's different!Nicknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-2061995606114482082012-06-06T16:13:21.134+01:002012-06-06T16:13:21.134+01:00I think it's the tone. When people say that yo...I think it's the tone. When people say that you're turning into your mum or dad, they're not saying it in a loving tone. They're trying to be passive aggressively insulting--sometimes directly insulting. That's what gets me riled up. But when the person is someone who is talking about a really good quality of my mom, like how pretty she is, then I'm totally happy to be compared!Liz Dwyerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17794296990587989214noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-8128142791524535852012-06-06T15:42:55.025+01:002012-06-06T15:42:55.025+01:00That makes two of us and my old man is still aroun...That makes two of us and my old man is still around to reinforce my determination not to be anything like him.Rummuserhttp://www.rummuser.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-19336381093092300132012-06-06T09:41:35.089+01:002012-06-06T09:41:35.089+01:00Heart - Thank you, that's exactly what I wante...Heart - Thank you, that's exactly what I wanted to hear.<br /><br />Megan - And do they agree you sound like your mum? No way would I want to sound like my mum. And no doubt vice versa.Nicknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-15812941913569785702012-06-06T09:37:39.358+01:002012-06-06T09:37:39.358+01:00Jenny - Yes, of course if you admire your parents,...Jenny - Yes, of course if you admire your parents, that's a different matter. There must be plenty of people who consciously aspire to be like a parent who is very gifted or open-hearted or capable.<br /><br />John D - And do you take after your parents?<br /><br />Bijoux - Indeed, an amusing irony. But do we really want our kids to be just like us? That could be very boring - or annoying.Nicknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-29454738737328021792012-06-06T08:36:49.959+01:002012-06-06T08:36:49.959+01:00I'm like my parents because they brought me up...I'm like my parents because they brought me up. <br /><br />Sure, stopping myself in the middle of a sentence to say, "Oh my goiter stop me do I sound like my mom or what?" can be a bit of a conversation stopper, but that's because the only people I hang out with any more are my family.<br /><br />Come to think of it, I'm pretty damn lucky in that respect.<br /><br />Or cursed.Meganhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09387041422819664987noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-37671684122562182532012-06-06T08:16:22.096+01:002012-06-06T08:16:22.096+01:00Jay - I know what you mean about your mum. My own ...Jay - I know what you mean about your mum. My own mother has lots of habits which drive me nuts, but she gets on fine with everyone else!<br /><br />Intriguing idea that when we're measured against a parent, we feel inadequate. I think that's part of the reaction for me too.Nicknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-74509280432371409912012-06-06T08:11:26.924+01:002012-06-06T08:11:26.924+01:00Grannymar - Gosh, so I am!
www - Interesting that...Grannymar - Gosh, so I am!<br /><br />www - Interesting that you're so pleased when daughter reacts positively to the comparison! And interesting that she's so positive about it!<br /><br />Monk - That's good that you found the comparison heart-warming. Ideally we all would, I guess.Nicknoreply@blogger.com