tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post6484246492639795133..comments2024-03-28T07:49:04.960+00:00Comments on nickhereandnow: Hidden livesnickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10472673041193755894noreply@blogger.comBlogger35125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-30133183399458756662014-02-16T09:39:53.187+00:002014-02-16T09:39:53.187+00:00i wasnt intending to be on my high horsei wasnt intending to be on my high horsekyliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08964475783207438103noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-12826590040506187502014-02-15T08:40:02.441+00:002014-02-15T08:40:02.441+00:00Kylie: On the contrary, I'm very alert to &quo...Kylie: On the contrary, I'm very alert to "testers" as I'm always dying to know more about people. If there's the slightest hint of a personal confidence, I'm all ears and I try to tease out a bit more if they seem to want to open up.<br /><br />You're determined to explain me to myself but you so often get me wrong. You annoy me and hurt me intensely. Perhaps you should get off your high horse occasionally.Nicknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-62602770684105288292014-02-15T00:14:28.947+00:002014-02-15T00:14:28.947+00:00nick, when people are tempted to reveal themselves...nick, when people are tempted to reveal themselves they put out little testers and the response is what determines the extent of the revelation. you dont see the testers and therefore respond in a way that prevents further disclosure<br />kyliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08964475783207438103noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-57533380015556171082014-02-12T18:37:24.945+00:002014-02-12T18:37:24.945+00:00Hi. so how do you come up with new topics on your ...Hi. so how do you come up with new topics on your blogs? anything exciting coming up?Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03439162674542947552noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-65910260863473908352014-02-12T15:45:39.657+00:002014-02-12T15:45:39.657+00:00David: Ah yes, I remember the pic. But it wasn'...David: Ah yes, I remember the pic. But it wasn't me, just one of the odd images I plunder from the internet! I went off beards completely after that one bearded phase. Now they just make me laugh.Nicknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-29895827650723541132014-02-12T15:04:10.263+00:002014-02-12T15:04:10.263+00:00Hi,Nick.sorry I saw an ancient post with a pic of ...Hi,Nick.sorry I saw an ancient post with a pic of a man with a real handle-bar beard from May 2010 and assumed it was you-apologies. Anyway, hope you long continue blogging about broad-minded topics!<br /><br />Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03439162674542947552noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-28940165582369440532014-02-11T15:13:54.263+00:002014-02-11T15:13:54.263+00:00Ursula: It's unfortunate that just one not-ver...Ursula: It's unfortunate that just one not-very-dramatic fact caused such family upset. Surprising that a counsellor didn't think twice about revealing something private.<br /><br />I'm good at keeping people's secrets to myself as well, though it seems they're nothing like as extensive as the ones you're holding onto!<br /><br />As I said to Agent, I do indeed take something away from the comments. I read them avidly as they often give me all sorts of illuminating insights.Nicknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-43923554785870419832014-02-11T14:41:47.905+00:002014-02-11T14:41:47.905+00:00Your last comment to Secret Agent (secret!) is gra...Your last comment to Secret Agent (secret!) is gracious.<br /><br />What makes me smile, and maybe Secret Agent too considering calling herself 'a shrink': The year (five years ago) my sister qualified not so much as a shrink as a counselor she delighted in giving away one personal information about me. So much for "privacy". The fallout has reverberated across two families. Cost me three years in daily tears, affected my son to see his normally happy mother devastated, trust betrayed, relationships of a lifetime torn apart. Before you ask: What I told her was neither earth shattering nor immoral. The only tragedy that she couldn't keep her mouth shut. For an hour in her life she was interesting. Because she had learnt something about me, the person who is private and knows how to keep her mouth shut. Which, incidentally, and Secret Agent, and I dare say WWW too, may relate to, is why so many people confide in me. BECAUSE it won't go any further. I will take so much to my grave I'll probably need a double 'room'.<br /><br />Anyway, enough of me. On a personal note, Nick: I do hope that apart from you imparting your views on the world to your readership you do take away something from the comments given in return. No one is after your skin. Where there is a shout there will be echo. Or so I hope.<br /><br />UUrsulahttp://bitchontheblog.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-28531663946635168632014-02-11T13:17:11.962+00:002014-02-11T13:17:11.962+00:00Agent: Okay, I accept there was a slightly censori...Agent: Okay, I accept there was a slightly censorious tone, even if I was unaware of it. I suppose the phrase Too Little Information doesn't help, as it conjures up the genuinely censorious tone of Too Much Information. And I suppose the line "they seldom tell me very much about themselves" sort of suggests they SHOULD be telling me things.<br /><br />That's what I like about blogging, the unexpected comments that make me think again about what I've written.Nicknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-13920496531424248542014-02-11T12:56:36.078+00:002014-02-11T12:56:36.078+00:00That was me. And you didn't say you thought i...That was me. And you didn't say you thought it should be compulsory, but your post really does read as if you think people ought to be more forthcoming or agreeable to being intruded upon. That may not be what you were trying to convey, but it sounds like it. And I just disagree with that. I think it's a kindness to just leave people to their own private hurts unless they are making it clear they want to talk. (And incidentally, people spill to me all the time, and did long before I became a shrink. That's fine. But I would never ask or even wish I could ask.)Secret Agent Womanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07564690116156754219noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-10028850673601140082014-02-11T06:58:16.279+00:002014-02-11T06:58:16.279+00:00Unknown? "A person's right to privacy far...Unknown? "A person's right to privacy far outweighs anyone's wish to know their business." I couldn't agree more. Whether people want to tell me things is entirely up to them. I never suggested compulsory disclosure!<br /><br />www: Yes, you've mentioned quite a few times that you have the sort of face that invites full and frank confessions! Maybe as you say people get a sense of whether you truly want to know about them or not.Nicknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-69045613811769828562014-02-11T01:35:53.763+00:002014-02-11T01:35:53.763+00:00Wow Nick, you have generated a veritable maelstrom...Wow Nick, you have generated a veritable maelstrom in the commentariat.<br /><br />An old chap confided his whole life to me this morning. It took 2 hours. He called me and I drove there and he made me tea. He's 90 but saws his own wood and ploughs his own driveway.<br /><br />This happens constantly. I have that face. I mentioned this before.<br /><br />If you truly want to know about others' lives it would show on you. I think. I don't think you can "develop" it.<br /><br />I could be wrong.<br /><br />I am insatiably curious. But then I write. I write a lot.<br /><br />I feel justified.<br /><br />XO<br />WWW<br /><br />Wisewebwomanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15281689872840844191noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-46887783165879810752014-02-11T00:24:24.511+00:002014-02-11T00:24:24.511+00:00I didn't say anything about you being threaten...I didn't say anything about you being threatening. I was just saying that it's not our place to know about what's going on with strangers if they feel like being private. A person's right to privacy far outweighs anyone's wish to know their business.Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10686444933888486070noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-31957297585501846692014-02-10T22:40:51.797+00:002014-02-10T22:40:51.797+00:00Jay: People take offence so easily nowadays, don&#...Jay: People take offence so easily nowadays, don't you think? It must be hard work being so endlessly offended.<br /><br />I'm pretty secretive at work because employers can take exception to all sorts of odd personal quirks. But apart from that I'm willing to reveal just about anything.Nicknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-1773091606301647662014-02-10T22:39:44.116+00:002014-02-10T22:39:44.116+00:00Liz: It's mysterious, isn't it? Some faces...Liz: It's mysterious, isn't it? Some faces just seem to invite intimate confessions while others invite instant reticence.<br /><br />David: Eh, where did I mention beards? As it happens, I had a very luxuriant beard for about a year in my early twenties, but I've never had one since.Nicknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-82143936295083915812014-02-10T21:43:51.154+00:002014-02-10T21:43:51.154+00:00I know what you mean. We are all so closed into o...I know what you mean. We are all so closed into our own little worlds, and the dreaded Political Correctness means that we dare not say anything to someone we don't know well for fear of offending. It's a sad state of affairs.<br /><br />On the other hand, I confess to being quite a secretive person who doesn't like strangers knowing that much about me. Friends, yes, but not strangers, or even colleagues. Jay at The Depp Effecthttp://www.thedeppeffect.com/11387/a-thing-of-beauty/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-16129852889266450062014-02-10T20:35:19.081+00:002014-02-10T20:35:19.081+00:00Hi, Nick. Weird qustion-do you still have that fan...Hi, Nick. Weird qustion-do you still have that fantastic beard?!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03439162674542947552noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-6678033287709184162014-02-10T18:00:23.194+00:002014-02-10T18:00:23.194+00:00I'm like you, nick: people don't naturally...I'm like you, nick: people don't naturally open up to me. I'm helping on this restorative justice course in prison and some of the facilitators seem to have found out all sorts about their group members and I don't know if it's because they ask and I don't or whether I have the wrong sort of face.Liz Hindshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04646532093872561703noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-40348049836766678172014-02-10T15:14:45.066+00:002014-02-10T15:14:45.066+00:00Ramana: I think you missed the point. I'm not ...Ramana: I think you missed the point. I'm not interested in what others think of me so much as how they live their lives and what makes them tick.Nicknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-71779989949329569132014-02-10T14:46:19.615+00:002014-02-10T14:46:19.615+00:00"What you think about yourself is much more i..."What you think about yourself is much more important than what others think of you."<br /><br />~ Marcus Annaeus SenecaRummuserhttp://www.rummuser.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-87028582364470153312014-02-10T08:09:35.150+00:002014-02-10T08:09:35.150+00:00Helen: Those accidental conversations on the bus o...Helen: Those accidental conversations on the bus or train can be very interesting. That is, if they move beyond the weather and unreliable public transport.Nicknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-82232935950770648442014-02-10T08:03:41.806+00:002014-02-10T08:03:41.806+00:00Jenny: I only experience that very occasionally. P...Jenny: I only experience that very occasionally. Polite reserve is more usual. No, I wouldn't say your face especially invites confidences (and that doesn't mean you look frosty!).<br /><br />Bijoux: Really? I can't imagine what that's like! I've always been intensely curious about all sorts of things.<br /><br />Jean: Biographies and autobiographies are often fascinating insights into people's lives. I recently read Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal? by Jeanette Winterson. A most enjoyable read.Nicknoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-3562549121081379902014-02-10T04:32:38.391+00:002014-02-10T04:32:38.391+00:00I'm curious about how different people experie...I'm curious about how different people experience the world, so I read a lot of biographies. Cheerful Monkhttp://cheerfulmonk.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-704133319503258262014-02-10T00:20:52.772+00:002014-02-10T00:20:52.772+00:00I must not be a curious person!I must not be a curious person!Bijouxhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05788630004051883635noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3467242994126386706.post-26699352480286533962014-02-09T23:09:44.126+00:002014-02-09T23:09:44.126+00:00In the newspapers, on TV, in blogging and in real ...In the newspapers, on TV, in blogging and in real life we are only told what someone else wants us to know.<br /><br />I too am curious about people...I travel by bus quite frequently and wonder where people work, what do they do....but, as you say, one cannot ask.<br /><br />I do often have conversations with the person next to me though and learn a lot about the culture of the place I've come to live in that way.<br /><br />Helen Devriesnoreply@blogger.com